Dr Pam saysYour intuition tells you he's having an affair and intuition is a powerful tool, but it's important to remember it's not always right. Keep listening to it though, while you do the following:
1. Chill outBe relaxed when he's behaving normally - if he's innocent of any affair you don't want to stress out the rest of your life worrying.
2. Be straightforwardWhen he acts 'secretive', that's the time to say something like, "you are acting a bit worried - what's up?" Use this straightforward technique every time you feel he's behaving secretively. You?ll begin to get a sense of what his answers reveal - an innocent person or a guilty conscience.
3. Try to shareSuggest that when he has to work late that you pop over for a late dinner with him. Stress how much you'd love to do this, you know, share his load, etc. If he welcomes the idea that's the behaviour of an innocent man, but if he gets stressed and makes excuses that looks suspicious.
4. Keep your sex life aliveTry to enhance all the good in your relationship and make sure his long working hours don't kill off your sex life. If he's innocent this will have great pay-offs anyway and if he's guilty it may make him think twice about continuing an affair.
5. Be honestOnce you've done all these things, if you still have suspicions you'll have to be honest with him and tell him you want honesty in return.
You may wish to speak to Relate, even if nothing's going on.
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