Relationship problems: 'We're splitting up - what happens next?'
My partner and I have made the decision to split up. The kids will stay with me, but I'm terrified of life alone. What happens now? Charlie, Aberyswyth
Dr Pam says
Having been divorced with two young children I know how terrifying this is, Charlie, but I can assure you that you're going to be fine - you just have to accept the highs and lows and face them head-on. These tips will help?
1. Respect your ex
He may be your ex-partner but he's the father of your children, so don't put him down to them. Make sure you?re fair about access visits and never use them to try and get back at him.
2. Don't be proud
Make sure you let friends and family know that you appreciate and need their support. Don't be a martyr and pretend everything's OK particularly when you?re going through a bad patch.
3. Expect the unexpected
One day you may be surprisingly happy, the next completely down. Go with it, take advantage of your good days and get out and do new things. Then ring your best mate and cry down the phone on your bad days.
4. Ring the changes
Take up something that you always wanted do, but didn't because your ex didn't enjoy it. This helps prove to yourself that you as an individual have your own tastes and no longer have to rely on your ex for deciding what to do in your spare time.
5. Don't become a break-up bore
Ask your friends or family to tell you if you're droning on about your ex. The less you say about him, the less you think about him, and you'll move on more quickly.
6. Take your time
Don't rush into romance, but look for a bit of fun and friendship if you start to date again. Remember, 90% of rebound relationships break up!
What do you think Charlie should do? Have your say in our comments section below
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By Dr Pam Spurr
