Our sex life has one rather large problem. My partner suffers from premature ejaculation. We've tried slowing things down, but it hasn't helped yet. What can we do?

Dr Petra says

Premature ejaculation affects most men at some point in their lives. It's caused by anxiety so the more you worry, the more likely it is to happen.

There are several things that can help:
1. Don't see his orgasm as the end point of sex - you can still enjoy pleasure and this can take the pressure off him.
2. Enjoy plenty of sexual experiences before penetration such as masturbation or oral sex.
3. Try Durex Performa condoms that contain a lubricant to delay orgasm.
4. Relaxation or meditation techniques may work.
5. He could masturbate an hour or so before sex
6. Try getting close to orgasm, stopping, then starting again.

If he continues to have problems his GP can check he is okay and, if necessary, refer him to a psychosexual therapist.

- Next: 'I get terrible pain during and after sex'

More help and advice

- Your relationships problems answered
- British Association of Sex and Relationship Therapy
- Sexual Dysfunction Association
- Mansized - frank answers to men's problems

By Dr Petra Boynton

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