Sex problems: 'We have different sex drives'
placeholding invisible text
placeholding invisible text
If he could, my husband would have sex every night, while I only want to do it a couple of times a week. This is turning into a big problem. Can you help?
Dr Petra says
It's a myth that couples' sex drives are always in sync. In most relationships one person often wants sex more than the other.
There is no 'right' amount for couples to have sex, although we often forget quality is more important than quantity. Your husband may crave frequent sex for a number of reasons
1. He has a high sex drive.
2. He believes it's something men should do.
3. He wants more intimacy.
4. He feels insecure or anxious about his performance or your relationship.
Reassure him you love him but explain your different sex drives are making you unhappy. Possible solutions include him masturbating when you don't have sex, and both of you enjoying intimacy in the form of cuddles and affectionate communication whether it's a 'sex night' or not.
Relationship therapy can help if you need support to resolve the situation.
- Next: 'He can't get an erection'
More help and advice
- Your relationships problems answered
- British Association of Sex and Relationship Therapy
- Get counselling from Relate
By Dr Petra Boynton
Average rating:
Please leave a comment, tip or story in the box below
Noelle, 11 months
My husband only wants sex once a week, whereas I want it several times a day. This has been really hard for me to deal with. I often think of having an affair just to get more sex.
Report this commentTati, about 1 year
In my case I wanted to have sex frequently.But my husband always feel tired. Is this serious?
Report this comment
Indigo, 9 months
I'm newly engaged to my partner and love him dearly but when we were first dating he told me that he too had a high sex drive but now that we are living together we seems only to have sex once a week because he is so tired or just not in the mood. I crave the intimacy that I feel when we have sex and want it frequently, often three times a day. This is starting to cause a problem because I just don't feel adequate anymore and crave affection elsewhere.
Report this comment