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My partner can't seem to get an erection in bed with me. He keeps telling me it's not my fault, but I can't help worrying. What's wrong?

Dr Petra says

Most men experience erection problems at some point in their lives - when they feel under pressure, have had a few drinks or are tired.

Does he regularly wake with erections and get one during masturbation on his own? If so his problem may be linked to fears over his sexual performance. Relaxation techniques, meditation and focusing on your pleasure before penetration can take the pressure off him. Depression can also cause erectile difficulties, as can smoking or drinking heavily.

If he can't get an erection during masturbation, doesn't have morning erections and consistently can't get hard enough for sex, he should speak to his doctor to rule out underlying health conditions like heart disease or diabetes. His doctor can treat related health conditions, prescribe medications for erection problems or refer him to a psychosexual therapist if necessary.

- Next: 'I think I may have a sexually-transmitted infection'

More help and advice

- Your relationships problems answered
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- Sexual Dysfunction Association
- Mansized - frank answers to men's problems

By Dr Petra Boynton

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