He's having an affair

Gemma, about 1 month

Well, I found my hubby had been meeting women (he ended up having fairly long-term affairs with 2 of them - one at a time) on a married dating site and like this says, I was pretty surprised at my own reaction. I always had a policy in place that anything like this was the end. Truth is though, I was bored of sex with him, but I still love him in all the other ways. I think he feels the same. Anyway, we stayed together! He does his best to keep whatever he's doing a secret, and I'm free to do the same. I haven't had an affair, but I definitely like that fact that I can go for it if I meet someone I like.

Samantha, about 1 month

hi my husband started an affair in sept got the girl pregnant left me in january (thats when he told everyone about the affair) he didnt tell anyone about the pregnancy. we have a son together which was a very tramatic event as he was born early we had been trying to have a baby for two years previous to this unfortunately before i got pregnant with my son i was pregnant before that and lost the baby but also in a very traumatic way i had to give birth to the baby this had put a major strain on our relationship and we both closed down stopped talking and just argued all the time the girl he had an affair with was determined to get him she has had a few affairs with people at work before my husband, this came from my husbands boss not my husband so it wasnt an excuse. my husband and i were very depressed and lost i had no confidence and she was giving my husband lots of compliments and making him feel good about himself which is obviously what i couldnt give at the time and she was giving him what he needed, he said it was like watching another person doing the things he was. Apparently she had been trying for two years to get pregnant and told my husband she couldnt get pregnant, and he stupidly believed her now there is a baby. my son is only 1 and half and her baby is about 3 months old now. We have decided to get back together my husband made an appointment at relate to try and pinpoint where are problems started so they dont happen again, we have been together for 10 years and this is totally out of character for him it devasted him and he left and i let him go he tried to have a relationship with this girl but like he said he didnt want to be with her and never did he only ever wanted me but we were totally different people and werent getting along as my husband said these were reasons but not an excuse for what he has done. some days im better than others sometimes i blame her for everything and others i blame him totally it is very hard to feel good about myself when he had to go elsewhere to get what i couldnt give and im terrified things will go back to that when something else bad happens but my husband says it wont as he has learnt his lesson and we are talking now about everything which we werent communication had completely stopped except for shouting. I still wont allow him home but we are trying to get are relationship strong again before we move back into together again

caro howe, about 1 year

I was hoping this articel would tell me how long would be needed to get over an affair. My husband had an affair 2 years ago. He wont see relate and he doesnt know why it happened. I fought to get him back because I knew what had happened was totally out of character for him. We had been happily married for 28 years and had 3 children. I still feel dejected and cry most days over it. Small things turn into big arguements because I feel unloved. He couldnt be more caring, he says he loves me. I just need to know if it is normal to feel like this 2 years later and how long will I be like this.

Melanie White, about 1 year

I FOUND OUT IN THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS THAT MY PARTNER OF 18 YEARS HAS RECENTLY ENDED AN AFFAIR, AND AFTER A VERY ANGRY EXCHANGE I LEARNT THAT THIS WAS NOT THE FIRST TIME. HE IMPLIED THAT IT WAS ALL MY FAULT AND I WAS TO BLAME. I ANGRILY ASKED HIM TO LEAVE AND HE IS NOW STAYING WITH HIS ELDERLY MOTHER, SO THAT WE CAN BOTH TAKE STOCK. READING YOUR ARTICLE WAS LIKE A BREATH OF FRESH AIR, A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. I'VE PRINTED ALL THE PAGES AND I'M GOING TO TRY DISCUSS THIS WITH MY PARTNER. BEFORE I READ THIS ARTICLE ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS HOW AM I GOING TO COPE!! I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO SEE SOMETHING ABOUT WHEN YOU HAVE CHILDREN. MY OWN SON IS 6 YEARS OLD AND AS HIS DAD OFTEN HAS TO LOOK AFTER HIS MOTHER, HE HASN'T YET REALISED THAT ANYTHING IS WRONG AND I WANT IT TO REMAIN THAT WAY. ONE THING I WOULD NEVER DO IS ALLOW MY CHILD TO BE PIGGY IN THE MIDDLE AND I WOULD NOT MAKE HIS DAD LOOK BAD AS HE ADORES HIM. THANKS FOR THE INFORMATION AND LET'S HOPE THAT WE CAN NOW DECIDE AS ADULTS, WITH YOUR HELP WANT HAPPENS NEXT.