He's having an affair: Should you go?

(14 ratings)
Mum comforting her daughter
This is a big step and not one to take in the middle of emotional turmoil. If you're still very angry, hurt or confused you are not ready to make this decision .

So ask yourself:

1. Have you given yourself enough time to consider this properly?
2. Are you sure that this relationship is over and there's absolutely nothing you or your partner could do to save it?

Warning: 'Breaking up is not an easy way out,' says Paula Hall. 'You still have to 'get over' what he did. And if it's a long term relationship with children involved, you'd be wise to get professional help before making this decision.'

More help and advice

- Relate offers relationship counselling and support
- Dr Phil's website

- Your relationship problems answered
- Tips to put the spark back into your relationship
- Tell us your secrets or read others' confessions

Continued below...

You could also try reading
- After the Affair (Relate guide) by Julia Cole £6.99
- Relationship Rescue: Repair Your Relationship Today by Dr Phil McGraw, £5.99

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Well when you think you have found the perfect guy, get on well together, you have the same interests and he treats you like a princess for 3 years and then WHAM you are suddenly confronted with another woman who you did not know exists, and who he has been cheating on with you for 18 months, thats hard to take, especially when he absolutely gave you no signs he was cheating. I personally cannot forgive or forget and so this woman, if she is still with him, is welcome to him. We were not married although in a committed relationship, but i cannot regain any trust towards him. I firmly believe under these circumstances he will cheat once more, possibly even may have done before this woman arrived on the scene, so it has to be final for me. I go onward and try to find a decent guy who only wants me in his life not an assortment of other women. Cheating to me is unforgiveable, there will always be doubt in the back of your mind. I suppose its a little easier to walk away if you are not married etc, but still devastating, it makes you feel worthless and insecure!


Oh my god, I thought I was mad! I carried on as normal for 18 months, then something triggered it and brought it to the surface I thought I was over it, but over night turned into a mad woman SOO much anger, I was just stuck on the denial page! Would be easier still to be there to be honest!


Wow! Spot on advice. I wish I'd of found this site 8 months ago - explains exaclty every emotion and problem I faced after finding out my had been cheating for months with my so called best friend. Hopefully time will be a healer. Some relationships are worth fighting for.


But this aticle makes no mention of what to do if he walks out the door becaue you now know, which is what my husband did, or how you deal with a child who is falling apart becasue her dad won't see her when you are falling apart becasue he won't talk to you either.

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