'I'm obsessed with my horrible ex'
I have a child with my ex and I've been with him for 4 years.
We had a fantastic relationship at the beginning and we both planned to have our baby. When I was heavily pregnant, I found out he was texting a woman he used to see before we got together.
I don't know what the texts where about, but there were a lot of them, especially on Valentine's Day.
Eventually I went mad and threw him out and that's where I should have ended the relationship.
I didn't though and in time I forgave him and got the message across loud and clear if it was to happen again, then it would be the end of our relationship.
Six months later I caught him texting the same lady and I saw some of the texts saying they were gonna meet up.
Once again I went mad and threw him out, but in time he wormed his way back into my life. Over the next couple of years, we split up and got back together quite a few times, but last Christmas he left again and he hasn't been back.
He doesn't come and see his child really. and he is always letting him down. He doesn't pay maintenance any more and i am going through the CSA, but it's taking its time.
He tells me he loves me and our son more than anything, but his family don't want us to get back together. I can see from there point of view it will never work, and i probably know deep down in my heart it won't
I did meet someone else and went on a few dates, but my ex found out and then started to be all nice to me and, stupid me, I ended it with this new man.
I am pulling my hair out because I'm still so obsessed with my horrible ex. I feel it is all my fault and I don't know why. Please help me with some advice.
Emma
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Kath, 7 months
Relationships are supposed to be full of love and happiness!! I was with my ex for 3 and a half yrs, broke up but carried on for another 3 yrs, but in the mean while he was out sleeping with others. I only recently found out about the others and his excuse is that we weren't officially back together so he could do what he wanted, it makes me feel really ill that he was sleeping with all of them and me, gross hey? Any way, we cant seem to let go of eachother, either of us. He has mentally abused me so much that i have wanted to end my life twice now and I'm a single mom (not his child) but I still cant stop going back, I must sound so stupid but does any one think its because he has taken my confidence, selfworth, my humour, basically every thing i need to get out there with and get a new life. He has said the most awful things to me and i'm so scared that other people will meet me and think the same so i'm scared to meet new people. How do i get away from him and all of that and move on? Please please can some one help me.....
Report this commentsteph, about 1 year
Im sorry to hear about ur relationship ending bdly.. i wplit up with my ex in january this year after 3 n half years together and we have a 15month old daughter together... things between me and my ex were really bad near the end and we were always arguin and throughout the relationship i was always being told that he had cheated and on a couple of occasions i found messages on he phone to other girls saying they were going to meet but in the end he always used to be able to make me forgive him... even to this day i stil have a soft spot for him because i loved him and we have a daughter together... its never going to be completely easy with getting over your ex and not having a soft spot for him because he is going to be in your life until your child is 18 but given time you will slowly be able to adjust to the fact that you are no a couple and u will slowly be able to see him as just your childs father... but that is as long as u two do not keep seeing each other or sleeping together as it will confuse you and will confuse your child which isnt fair as your child will not know whats going on... u both just need to focus on your child for the time being and if over a length of time u and ur ex and see that things gd work then thats great... if not then u just both have to accept it and start fresh for yourselfs.
Report this commentsarah palfreyman, about 1 year
I know the feeling of getting treated badly by a partner. I had an ex who use to bully me and control me until i was to scared to go out. He use to watch my every move and follow me everywhere. I got pregnant by my ex and im now 8 months pregnant and hes now with a girl who he is 10 years younger then him and i now get abuse off the both of them.But i have managed to ignore them and move away and get a house and iv sorted myself out for the better. I wish everyone good luck with everything.
Report this commenthannah, about 1 year
i feel your pain and hurt i really do ! .. some people can just get over people like a flick of a swtich then their is people like me and you , its horrible to say it but you love him and he doesnt love you or he wouldnt have done it . basically he doesnt want you but doesnt want anyone else to have you . i have been in pretty much they same situation as you just it doesnt involve a child .. and the way i got over him was by dating other guys and telling him and letting him treat me nice and try and win me back but remeber in the back of my mind he only is doing it because he wants you to be on ur own and lonely . and just enjoy the attention ! as you deserve it more than he does and see how it goes with the other guy you never know one of them might lasT . and think you dont have him anyway soo if your dating other people it wont hurt atall get your confidence back and smile dont let him know ur down .. men feed off it ... hope this helps you and cheer up
Report this commentlisa, about 1 year
i think i agree with sophie, get in contact with the new man and explain that you didnt know what to dofor the best and try to work things out with him, i stillt hink about one of my ex's and itsnot good forme so i deleted his number and trying to move on as he left me to go back to his ex so he made his choice since i have herd they have split for good this time butim gone and i always will be you have to be strong and i remind myself that if he felt how i did then he would be here for me now and would never have left.
Report this commentGemma, about 1 year
me and my ex broke up last year and i still really like him we broke up because of the age gap cause his mates wasnt happy with it but i saw him about a fortnight ago and he told me that he loves me and always have and stuff like that but he wont get with me coz of the age difference do you reckon i shuld even bother wasting my time on him or move on ??
Report this commentelly, about 1 year
ive been through the same with my ex, i left him over a month ago. our relationship was violent and i was really depressed. now that i have left me and my child, whos two are really happy i thought i needed my ex in my life but i dont i always took him back after affairs but i never really loved him, now im so happy and have my life back my ex hasnt contacted me or the child since i left and wont give me any money but im so glad to have him out of my life i dont care life does get better
Report this commentsophie, about 1 year
Im 14, and although you proberly think im just a child with no clue about feelings, i do. I had a really bad incident with my ex which has completley changed the girl i am today and i suffer from depression from it, but Im not going to go into my personal life because i really don't feel ready to talk about things yet. Anyway, firstly, if you still have the new mans number, call him. Ask to meet up and explain that its important and that you made a mistake. Explain to him the reasons for your break up. Secondly, think of all the bad things your ex done to you. You didn't deserve it and when you gave him more chances, he took them for granted and he knew you'd take him back. Tell your childs dad that your child is just as much his resposibility that he is yours. Its things you really need to do. if not for yourself, do it for you child. If you think your child's old enough to understand, tell him that daddy was cheating and you had to break up.
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annoymous, 4 months
i know excaltly how you feel, i have been in the same situation kind of, my ex and i were together for not even a year in that time we planned to have a baby together and he was great till i was 3 months pregnant then he started to turn violent towards me and my unborn bub, i shoud of left him but stupid me kept going back to him,he was texting other girls and i even found out he was on a dating site! i was only 15 at the time so i was scared of raising my bub by myself n stupidly thought i was in love with him, he ended up dropping off at my mums wen i was 8 months pregs he ended up geting a new gf a couple of wks after i had my bubba we kept sleeping together n i kept talking him back like u he would always be nice to me n worm him self into my life everytime i met some one, he was just tryin to subatage me movin on, i raised my boy alone 4 8 months then i met this amazin guy my ex kept tryin to interfer but i didn ket him this time i have now been with this guy 4 three yrs and we also have a daughter now, moral of the story u can get thur this n u done need him ur so much beta it took me the hard way to figure this out but im so happy now!!! u can do this b strong 4 ur child n everything will work out believe me.
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