'My husband likes to dress up in women's clothing'

Paul, 5 days [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

hey, I wouldnt worry about this ... its no big deal. Okay he likes to dress like a girl but he is faithful and loves you... so if this is his only secret I would just let him get on with it, even watch him do it or make it part of your sex life now an again. Alot of guys like doing that but they are 100% straight and love their wifes/girl friend!! he could be doing alot worse so I think you shuld let him know you seen him and tell him how you feel..

ew, 15 days [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Let's say you are both in your 50s and have been married for over 30 years. Your husband apparently started having ED right after you turned 40 and you feel that he isn't attracted to you anymore. Then throw in that you find his girly clothes. How are you supposed to react?

Michael GreyFeather, 22 days [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Hello Megan, First off I want to tell you that your husband is normal. He is not gay, does not think he is a woman in a man's body, he is not perverted, he is not sick in the head, he is not dangerous. Your husband is just a person born with a desire to wear the opposite genders clothing. He was born with this and has probably been doing it since he was a young child. It is a gender disorder which takes place in the womb during the sex identification cycle in the fetus. He is the same man you married, he is no different then before you caught him. If anything he needs your help and your support to deal with this. It is not somehting he wanted or decided to do over night or has been thinking about doing. It comes natural to him and is a natural part of him which will never go away. If you love him accept him for who he is for he is no different then he was before you caught him but now you know his secret which he has had all his life. I have written a story about myself as well as other men which is a true story and how most men live with this gender disorder. Read it and then go to your husband and tell him you love him and support him and that you will help him deal with this. Your husband has a great fear of being discovered and caught wearing your clothes and fears you will divorce him or hate him. He has lived with the fear of being caught all his life. Many men have been found out by their wives and their wives have accepted them and their lives have become even better then before they found out their husbands did this. Accepting this you will find that you and your husband will become even closer then you ever were. Help him keep his secret. If he wants it to be known he will tell someone about it. Don't tell anyone what you have found out because it will destroy your husbands life. This type of thing happens to many thousands and millions of men but they hide it from the world in hopes they will never be discovered. I know Truck drivers, preachers, teachers, professors, railroad workers, engineers, doctors, nurses, lawyers, judges, who do this which is called crossdressing. Actors, and I mean famous actors are crossdressers, it is not just somehting that happens to certain people, it happens to everyone male or female, in any race, any culture, any country in the world. He is not alone believe me and you are not alone in discovering what your husband does. Read this and get back to me ... Here is the link to the story below ...... ..... http://www.renaissancesep.org/A_Members_Story_2.html ..... I am the director and chief executive officer of a Transgender support orgainzation. I am here tohelp you deal with this Mike GreyFeather Web site: www.RenaissanceSEP.org

warren, 27 days [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

I must admit that I would find it difficult to understand, if I found my wife dressed in my cloaths, however I that has never happened so I can try to explain why I like to wear both stockings and silky knickers. I am not gay, not even a little bit, I am tall and strongly built and rather manly looking, in general I am a powerful man in build and function, although I do have a bit of a tummy nowdays. The truth is, I love women, I love my wife and have always found her to be sexually exciting, I have never wanted to be unfaithful although I do tend to attract other women, in short, I am a flirt. My wife knows that I like to wear knickers and sometimes I go out with both stockings and french knickers on under my normal cloaths, especially when wearing a suit to a meeting etc. Sometimes she likes me to put these cloaths on before we make love but in truth this is rare, I wish she liked it more but beggers can't be choosers, I am greatful for the times it happens. I love the feel of sheer stockings confining my legs, I adore the feeing of silk across my lower torso but at the same time I know how stupid I must look, yet I still love wearing the underware that she occasionally buy's for me. I cannot speak for anyone else, however worried wives should know that just because a mand likes to wear soft feminin underware or any womens cloaths does not mean that he is infeminant or gay, in my case it simply means, I love women so much that their underware makes me feel absolutly great. Hope this helps. Warren

Paul, 28 days [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

First off im a 25 year old male, ever since ive being young ive liked girls things. Its not something that i get do to get turned on by. Part of my brain is female. And to be honest i cant believe some of the answers that women have posted, how can ye be so ignorant and self centred stop thinking about yourselves and try putting yourselves in his shoes. Do you know how hard it is to live a normal life with something like this eatting away at you, men can only wear these clothes and woman can wear what ever they want. I'll be quiet honest i hate feeling like this, i didn't ask for it, i didn't decide to wakeup one day and say "hey i think just for a kick ill wear womans clothes". I nearly took my life before because of this, Women have being in uproar about equal rights for years, ha i even seen boxers for woman, and if im not wrong wasn't there a time when women could only wear dresses. Here is a test for any women reading this, go take a look in your wardrobe and count how many pairs of trousers, jeans, shirts, t-shirts that you own. Women dont even think twice about wearing male type clothes, but the minute males express an interest in female garments it turns yours guts. To be honest ive lost a great deal of respect for females over the last couple of years after checking into my condition, and im even more discusted with myself for wanting to be one of you.

CM, about 1 month [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

My wife just caught me. It's shamefull and humiliating. I feel horrible and want to run away. She was condescending and ridiculed me. I'm so lost in a world of right and wrong that it's difficult to know what to do. I find acceptance on line with women who accept it and feed into it, although they are motivated by money, so knowing how they truly feel is difficult. Reading some of the comments makes me wonder if my wife is disgusted with me to a point where our relationship is irrecoverable. I thought I gave it up, but had a relapse. We hardly talk since the incident. I guess it's a vulnerable side of me, of my psyche, that wants no one to know, even in some respects I don't want myself to know. I wish I could go back to a time when I felt normal, when it was me and my girlfriend, just finding out what made us tick. It was a warm and comforting place. Now it's bullying and oppressive and all i want to do is hide under the covers.

Mac, about 1 month [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Hi. When I read your story I had to add a comment. At the end of the day it's just cloth, Sociaty says it wrong but I don't think it is. How can clothes have a sex? Male or Female, They are inanimate objects.Talk to your partner, If you love him as you claim. It may be hard to understand at first. I mean lets face it, Look at what men have had to put up with. Y fronts, tidy whities and boxer shorts all made from cotton is it any wonder more and more men want to wear silky undies like the ones you women wear. Don't ignore him, Talk to him and simply ask if he wants to be a female or was it something else. Be honest with him and he should be honest with you. Good luck to you.

Sophia Smith, 3 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Grow up! could you be more childish? so your husband xdresses BIG deal! is he cheating on you, lying to you, abusing you, stealing from you, sitting around the house on his arse not working, getting drunk and beating you ... NO! he expresses his fem side (which everyone has one, male or female) he is hiding this from you 1. Judging by your remarks he's right not to and 2. he feels he can't tell anyone and if tells you he will condem you to hiding it as well ... or it should as you should respect his feelings and keep it between just you two unless you both agree to be more open but no not you you'd rather shout about it on the net, wow your just a prize ain't you. and if he happens to be transgender well lucky you ... as transgender males are genraly more loving, caring, considerate, thoughfull and better husbands and better people in everyway compared ''real'' men (what ever that is???? but you don't deserve a TG partner

xdresser, 4 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

My wife and I have come to an agreeable compromise. I don't flaunt; she doesn't care. Most times she doesn't even know I'm wearing anything risque under my male clothes. As for our intimate times, about a quarter of the time I get to wear heels, hose and waist cincher/garter belt - no bra during these times - she just does not like it and I have no right to push beyond her tolerance level. In entering such a non-specific agreement, I am always cognizant of her pleasure. I am getting my pleasure so I am well attuned to hers. After two years of courting, 11 years of marriage and two school age children, she still claims to have no fantasies or fetishes, but loves me enough to know that this is a part of who I am and what in part makes me a giving and honest partner. No one else knows, as far as I know, though I have told her that she is free to share my story with any of her girlfriends if they need consolation in dealing with a similar situation in their relationships. I have tried to research the statistics, but there's nothing solid out there. It's so taboo, you can't get valid and reliable statistics, but it ranges from 1% to as high as 30%. I must admit that it is exciting that she has exclusive rights to this knowledge and she can quite honestly destroy me at any time or keep me as her completely devoted and loving partner. It is absolutely mind-blowing to pleasure her while crossdressed, to be so open an into the moment unreserved. How many out there worrying about playing a strictly defined, socially acceptable role can be that free?

vicki, 4 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

My dad does this he wear lipstick, My mum found out he had been wearing her clothes and make up when me and my sister where still really young. She stayed with him for me and my sister on the condition we never found out. As we got older we noticed little things till one day when i was about 13 an we were on holiday i saw him in one of my mums dresses when he thought i was a sleep i told my mum and she tryed to lie for him but i new what id seen and the truth came out. He promised he would stop as he didnt want to lose us but with in a few weeks we saw the signes again. I'm 21 now and four weeks ago i caught him red handerd (well red lipsticked) and then he tryed to act like it didnt happen. My mum has now left him. I know this my sound harsh but if you stay with him and he doesnt stop dont have kids, both me and my sister feel sickend by our dad and cant stand to be around him and have done our best to stay away from him since we found out all those years ago. Its something that really scar us and affected us badly.

Michael O, 4 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Wow! He is sick alright! Dancing to Wham proves that. As to wearing your clothes, better tell him to buy his own. Dont want to stretch yours eh? Cant really see much wrong apart from that. I wear nylon and satin nighties to bed, and my wife doesnt mind too much, as she loves me for who I am, not what I wear. We all have a fetish (dont we?), mine happens to be the feel of those lovely fabrics. I am a crosdresser, not a transvestite, the difference being I have no desire to be a woman, or even completely dress like one. I cant see a point to wearing a bra for example, as I dont have boobs. Dont fret girl, you do love him dont you, better try and support him and try to understand his desires.

slaveboyforGoddess, 4 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

You should make Your husband into Your sissymaid, he will do anything for You if he really loves You. And You can have so much fun humiliating him, and making him please you.

andrea, 4 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

I've been crossdressing in secret since I was 10, after 20 years of marriage I told my wife I wore womens clothes. She didn't understand but didn't punish me or make a scene. We just never talked about it again and I think she thinks I have given it up. The urge actually is stronger now, you must talk and reach a compromise.

KIRSTY ANNE, 4 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Think about how he treats you when you wear male clothing (trousers , jeans etc) and treat him the same way how would you feel if he stopped talking to you every time you wore your jeans! most males who cross dress are not gay and dont want to be a woman but just like the feel and softness of womens clothing and are normally more considerate and thought full than other men. he is still the same person yo first met

Heidi, 5 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Hey Megan, I can relate, I have been through a similar experience to you. At first I couldn't stand the sight of him, and was prepared to walk away from the relationship. BUT, after conducting my own research on WHY he was like this and also spoke to him about it asking question after question, you will find that it really is harmless and for your partner, probably just a fantasy. Some men enjoy the thought of being a woman (and why wouln't they, we're HOT) the term used is 'Autogynephilia' or 'Forced Feminization' I suggest you look it up. I do not believe your partner is gay, nor bi-sexual, but just purely enjoys the THOUGHT of being a woman. My partner and I now are having the best sex of our lives, as I enjoy forcing him into being a woman, and he loves the humiliation of it. It's empowering and erotic. I think you should give it a go, you may be quite surprised yourself how enjoyable it is. Best of Luck. H.

Alejandra, 5 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Wow! Megan thats crazy i just found out last week that my boyfriend of a year and a half dresses as a woman he had left the house to run some errands when i was on the laptop i say a USB connector thing on our bed so i connected it to the laptop when i seen the pictures and videos my heart dropped and i couldnt breath i thought why me god! and then i felt sick liek pukey sick he was wearing a wig and makup my botty shorts over fishnet stockings and high heels my bra with face boobs in them and ones where he was wearing my dresses and other clothes and there was a video where he masterbated while he was watching porn on the labtop of what i thought was a girl but had male genetalia it made me sick and it made me feel like he didnt desire me like i wasnt good enough for him lke i was a cover up for him so i confronted him right away and he told me that there has always been something off in his brain since he was a kid so i asked if he liked men he said no and i said do u want to be a woman he said no and i asked if he got off on it he said sometimes so i dont know its something u cant understand and dont try i think u have to just accept it as part of who they are or get out of the relationship if you dont like it i first felt sad then sorry for him then so angry but then i asked him what he wanted in life where he wanted to be in 5 years and he said he wanted to be married to me and have kids and he wanted to stop doing this and wanted me to help him so i told him we had to throw all of his stuff away and whenever he had thoughts of doing this like dressing up to jot it down in a notebook and he agreed i think this is more recent what has been happening cause he got laid off in november last year and before he was either working all the time or with me so i know now that hes been at home is when these ideas started happening and he started dressing like this but i have faith that we can put this behind us in move on otherwise i told him if its not me that you want or im not in ur plans in the future then tell me now cause im not gonna waste my time...i still see the images in my head from time to time or when im looking at him sometimes i picture him dressed as a woman like in the pics and videos i hope that will someday go away cause i love him so much and by looking at him and taking to him hes a manly man thats why it took me by suprise...i hope this helps megan but im glad im not the only one going throught this.

Michael O, 6 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

I don't know what your problem is? Whats shameful? Its only clothing, not him screwing around with another woman - or man! Lighten up girl and talk to him about it, that is if you really love him. I too love the feel of lingerie and all those "girly" fabrics and would even enjoy wearing the same if it wasn't for societies taboos, but I can at least enjoy the sensations of those clothes against my skin at home. I generally wear only satin nightshirts for the comfort, but sometimes a nylon nightgown and my wife doesn't mind as she loves me regardless of my fetish. He isn't hurting anyone sot you shouldn't think he is weird, or gay. I think you are lucky you are obviously the same size, so try on his clothes to see how they compare - I suggest you will soon understand why some men like the soft girly fabrics! Good luck.

Johnny, 6 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Women are always telling us guys to get in touch with our feminine side and when we do they still aren't happy :-) Joking aside..I'm beginning to experiment with clothing and make-up just for fun just to see how it feels. Why does it have to be a big deal...there is no harm in it...and I'm learning too...I realise now that every woman is an artist and each time they put on their makeu it literally is a work of art. Megan..open your mind a bit..life is too short and there are much worse things in the world. J

Colline, 6 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Dear Megan, you like everything neat and tidy, but life is far from perfect. We are brought up to fit into the fashion houses ideas of what makes them lots of money, for the last 100 years or so since modern factories created these 'Fashion Houses'. Men have every right to push these rediculous boundaries back and wear what pleases them, just as women do when they wear slacks and jeans and mens shirts and shorts. There is no rhyme or reason for women to wear men's clothing like shirts and jeans but they do so in huge numbers much against the desires of Fashion Marketing Houses wanting to sell them the latest in fashion finery. What perverse fate has befallen men who needed coarse clothing in days of yore when we mostly worked the land, then moved into strict Victoriana when business dress ruled the day and every man had to wear a 'Bowler Hat, a heavy Fedora style coat, and carry an umbrella. Much walking all day in cold and wet, was commonplace and sturdy boots were required to stand such punishment. While women stayed home and became softened, and soft femme high fashion clothing pushed by Fashion Houses to please women bored by being at home, while men worked the mines and factories in heavy clothing. What has this got to do with modern man softened by continuous study and this modern computer environment. He has grown up mollycoddled in the security of a suburban home as women were a hundred years ago, and has never had need for heavy 'Old fashioned' austere Victorian clothing, that women perceive wrongly as being manly, so they might feel more feminine in spite of being too lazy to indulge their menfolk by being more sexually oriented. It has been too easy for women brought up believing men do all the nasty jobs while they being soft and femme indulge themselves into believing that men not only have NO right to pamper themselves like women but would not be men if they presumed to dare push back these womens fashion imposed boundaries. What gives women this divine right? No it is the women have confused men's values by masculizing themselves, and now feel threatened by modern man liking some of the softer, sexier fashions, previously hogged by women. Men also want to be and feel sexy, to feel desirable and sexually attractive. We NEED to catch up to womens fashions and find new ways to express our desires, and to learn to wear bright softer more fashionable attire. Before the fashion houses decided 100yrs ago that women were the easy target for their produce, it was men who were the 'Peacocks of fashion. Study any history book. Go even now to any Greek Island and see the women working as they did a hundred years ago in plain black garb, doing all the work while the men sit around drinking and parading themselves as desirable to young women. Try Mexico where every town still has a walled Hotel specializing in short assignation activity for smartly dressed older men and young footloose women, while married ladies work at home. All far removed lifestyles from what the expectations of the average indolent North American young women not educated or even prepared to consider sex outside their limited education, leaving them unable to think outside their 'Box', their frames of reference. It is time for man to restore his right to wear what pleases him and to hell with modern fragile women's egos.

John, 6 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Men's clothes are rough and unnecessarily macho. I am a man and prefer women's clothing. I have even slept with my wife while putting on lace and have enjoyed it more, especially when she's rubbed the frills of my petticoat against my thigh. Let your husband enjoy the finer things in life that we, as men, are denied everyday. Tonight I will be sleeping in a panty, tights, a petticoat, skirt and lace top with frills. But I am not - and will never be -gay.

BRENDA, 6 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

I WOULD LOVE TO WEAR FEMALE CLOTHES ONCE IN A WHILE AND PLAY THE FEMALE ROLE IN BED, WHILE MY ACTUAL WIFE BECOMES THE "HUSBAND" AFTER DRESSING AS A MAN.

Fanny, 7 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

I've been crossdressing since I was a teen I started as most I think just experimenting and getting a thrill from it. I had sex with male friends when young (not since), but do agree that does not mean he's gay. I don't think that any two people have the same feelings or are the same in any way. There is nothing written in stone why one crossdresses but in my case I know it's something I can't stop. In my case I'd love to be totally bi and just enjoy sex, but due to disease today that's not smart. It's really up to you what your willing to accept and how truth full he is, that is not always something most gurls(guys) want to admit to. Try a counselor if you really think you want to stick it out. I was also married for 30 years before my wife passed on, she also knew of my dressing but also did not approve or want to see it. My present girl knows nothing of my secret and I'm going to keep it that way as I don't think she would accept it either and I won't do anything to put her at risk.....The choice is yours but do find someone to talk to.

kristi, 7 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Megan, I can certainly understand how seeing your husband dressed as you described could cause you a tremendous amout of confusion and worry. I found out about my husband's desires in almost the same exact way, and it about destroyed our relationship. As much as he didn't want to talk about it when I brought it up, I forced the issue and he finally opened up to me. As he talked about the confusion it had caused him, his worry that it meant he wasn't a "real" man, and his fear of losing me, he started to cry. I felt so sorry for him. For a man, it must be a terrible burden to be forced by societal predjudices to keep those desires secret. And then I looked at what I was wearring at the time; jeans and my old college sweatshirt; clothing that at one time were strictly men's clothing. And I asked myself, do the clothes really matter? Of course not - they're just clothes for goodness sakes, And if wearring them gives my husband some feeling that I don't understand, why should I interfere? Suffice to say that if anything our marriage is healthy, and our love for eachother is stronger than it has ever been. Talk to him. Ask questions, and if you can get passed inborn societal predjudices enjoy his feminine side. It might be a lot of fun.

jessie, 7 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

i know where you're coming from!!! my hubby just the other night, asked me to paint his toenails and he's wanted to wear my 'teddies' while having sex. i'm alot younger than him...by 14 years! i too questioned him if he was gay and even asked him if he's questioned himself about that....he says no and all you can do is believe what they tell you and trust it's the truth. i completly agree with 'sarah burns'...have fun with it or at least try to!!! if you're marriage is strong enough, it'll overcome this milestone....best of luck!!!

Lisa, 7 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

my husband loves to dress up, and i have fun helping him. he is very pretty and feminine while "she" is a woman. she loves to do house work and let me sit around while she cleans the house washes dishes anything feminine she loves to do. I love him just as much as i love her. she likes to give oral to men and sometimes likes from behind, but we always have sex with 1 or 2 guys and we are together, we never have secret sex. he is still very good in bed when he is in Man Mode, but she is very girly when she dresses up. her name is Shelly. it's ok to let him be a girl sometimes it can even be fun.

Philb, 7 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

im a young 17 year old, and i've only been cross dressing since i was 15. i enjoy it very much as the clothes feel so smooth on my skin. i dont know how to tell my parent's?

Jude, 7 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Liking to wear women's clothing isn't necessarily a sign he's gay. Some men just like the feel of the fabric on their skin. Let's be honest, your silk panties feel nicer than his boxers. You need to speak to your husband honestly, and maybe even with a counciller, to find out what he likes about the clothes. Don't judge him, because you risk to push him further into it and, maybe, into believing that he IS gay. Try and be supportive and let him know you love him no matter what. Have an open and frank chat about your feelings and see what happens.

Christine, 8 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Megan I have been married for 10 years and my husband had just told me that he is bisexual and likes to dress in my female clothes. While i am at work and the kids are at school he dresses in his female look, but when it time for the kids to come home it is all man again. It may feel and seem weird but you really just need to sit down and talk to him about believe it or not it may just bring the both of you a whole heck of alot closer it has in my relationship. We have our days were we role play to help one anothe out. He doesn't like to spell out to me what he wants so i have actually been trying to find someone who can help me there so i can plan a nice evening for the both of us.

Pete12341234, 8 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

This fetish is more popular than you think, just ask any sex worker, such as a professional dominatrix or prostitute (or read a memoire written by one). I am very masculine, but one of my ultimate fantasies, which I am too ashamed to share with my wife, is for her (dressed up as dominatrix) to force me to dress up as a woman - stilletos, stockings, mini-dress, the whole works, as "punishment" for something. She then uses a strap-on to become the male, and treat me as a female. This role-switching idea is so appealing because it is different, extremely kinky and taboo, but it also lets you drop the TOUGH and VIRILE MAN mask for a minute and experience what its like to be female and submissive. (I'm not saying that woman ARE submissive.) I saw an interview of sex workers on TV and they all said that such "effeminization" was among the most popular requests by their clients. Obviously, those men were not gay, because they could have sought gay prostitutes.

Susan, 9 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

My husband does the same thing. I found out a few years back when I discovered underwear and he told me it was his. There have been times when I have come home early from work and not been able to get into the house. Since first finding out; I have come to realise that it is worse than I first thought. My husband says he is not gay however when he is dressed as a woman he looks at images of men dressed as women on the internet. Unfortunately i have started having an affair as I no longer fancy my husband now. We have two children. My husband is my best friend. He doesn't know about the affair but it is my way of trying to keep everything together for the sake of my kids. I have contemplated ending the marriage but I worry that the children will not have everything that they would have in a marriage. My husband and I don't fall out. We are the best of friends. I can't give you any advice as I have no idea what I'm doing or should do either. Good luck

deb, 9 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

I just found out about my long time boy friend and everything was going great until he asked me to give him sex in the but area and I did and now I want to know if he is bisexual and what are the sgins.

Samantha, 9 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

First things first. Your husband probably still loves you and is not gay. You need to do some research on this subject to be better informed before you talk with him. It is never easy to find your husband in your clothing, it shatters everything you ever thought you knew about men and women. I will say this though it is all on your terms from here. When you find what you are ok with then talk to him. He will be angry he was caught so you may try to find a good calm way to bring it up. You may want to try getting a few female clothing catalogs and sit down and look at them with him. Ask him what he likes and slowly turn the talk in to treating and talking to him as a girl friend. It wouldn't hurt to dress a bit sexy yourself. In doing that it will relax him. If you want to know the truth about the way he feels you will have to make him comfy. I know you are left feeling betrayed try an make it fun. I know you feel confused and hurt but if you give this some time before talking to him it will go much better. Your husband is the same man you married but now you know his softer side. Many women can not understand that and it is natural to feel the way you do. If you are not ok with him dressing in fem you will have to find a middle of the road on this if you want to remain wiith him. However if you find you are ok with it behind close doors then I would say plan your talk for your benefit. lay out some very sexy clothing on the bed, Plan a great dinner with lots of wine for you both and after dinner both dress up and have the best mind shattering time of your lives. Don't give him the option to not dress up. You will find he will be MUCH more aware of your needs and therefore cause you a mind shattering time. Listen I know this is a very sensitive time for you and you may have mixed feelings, but this is OK. He will have to understand you will sometimes feel like just being with the man you knew and married and sometimes it is just dress up as girl friends. On the having a child issue. He will be a better ,kinder, more understanding father. End of story on that. If you decide to work through this with him or not understand he can not help himself or herself with dressing. It is like an addiction almost. Just imagine yourself what it would be like to be told you can never again dress,act,think or feel as a women. It is no different for him. He will promise to never again dress in your clothing, but it is only a matter of time and he will have to sneek off and fill that need to feel as a women. weather you except this or not be kind and supportive to him.he has to feel so alone and his worst fear has already been realized. SOMEONE found out. It is good it was his loving wife. I know your next questions will be Is he wanting to become a women with a sex change,most likely NO. Will someone find out embarrising you . maby but if you have only now found out he is pretty good at keeping the secret and along with your support know one will ever know. If you become ok with this whole thing you can have the man you love a best friend, great shopping companion, someone to help around the house and he will never complain no matter what you want in the bedroom.

Anna, 9 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

My husband of 21 years does the same thing and I hate it. He likes the fish net stockings and panties and hose. Anything really sexy. It is such a turn off to a woman to see her husband dressed like that! It just looks weird and it takes away their masculinity, in my eyes. I can't picture him in an attractive way anymore. I only see him dressed in my things. It makes my gut sick! I always dressed like that and when my stuff started to come up missing, I just quit and threw it all away. He would hide stuff all over and then I would find it. It causes distrust and lies and then you can't trust your partner anymore. Why stay together? I do for the happiness of my children and pray they never find out his sickening secret. I have boys and how would they understand this? Get out now and don't look back and for God's sake don't have his children. He will never change and all of his promises to do so will be lies. It's like someone addicted to cigarettes. He'll make you hate him if you stay and you'll end up like me, lonely and wanting a real man to make me feel good about the way I look in those clothes! Don't get stuck!

laura, 9 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Ok, here we go. It is up to you to work out if you can accept this or not. I have had the same experience but at a very early stage of my relationship, I have been with my partner for 6 years now. I never got over this and it actually discusts me.I can not get sexually turned on by my partner any longer. I feel love for him but this has totally ruined our relationship. I am in the process of breaking up as freindship may still be an option. The best advice I can give you is do what does not cause anger or upset as this will harm both of you. Best of luck with everythung.

Mags, 10 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

No his not gay. You should talk to your husband maybe he wanted to tell you ages ago but was worried about your reaction? Some men feel the need to wear womans clothes as it makes them feel good (so iv heard) and it doesnt mean his gay. His probably feeling really guilty about keeping this secret from you! If you love him as much as you say you do..why not talk to him? & accept the fact his into dressing up. I hope it all goes well and good luck.

joe, 10 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Megan, I'm sorry you found out like that. That had to be the most shameful feeling ever. I am a man who also likes to wear womens clothing. I don't want to be a woman....or gay! I recently (within the last 6 months) had begun wearing womens clothing. However, my wife (of 18 years) had no idea i liked this. I began dropping hints that i wanted to try wearing this or that. She laughed...I laughed...and it took some time to truly get the point across to my wife that i wasn't kidding. She asked me if I was gay or wanted to be a woman. I said no.. I just liked the softness of the clothes. I do have a job in which I am the boss in a very stressful enviroment. It does help to let loose and give in to my urge to dress up. My wife is excepting of this and supports me. She even shops for clothes for me. I love her very much. Sometimes I feel like I don't desserve her, or that maybe she doesn't want to be with someone like me. But we talk about it when I feel like this and she still wants me to feel comfortable in dressing up. Anyway, I could go on and on...just talk to him. Dressing up is not the end of the world...it doesn't mean he doesn't love you...and it would almost positively make your relationship stronger. Besides you could come out ahead...tell him he could buy some clothes but the deal is one for him one for you!

DC, 10 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

What's your problem Megan ? Every man likes to feel the silkiness of his wifes clothes next to his body...What better way than wearing her clothes ?

issy, 11 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

I read your story and I understand the way you feel as I had a similar experience few years back with my husband. I felt betrayed and confused . It took me almost a year to discuss it with him. When I did he admitted that he is sexually attracted to men . He also said that he adores me and to loose me it would be the worst thing happening to him. I know that he meant it. We are still together. He is the person who can 'read' my mind and cares about me. I care about him too. I don't know if your husband is gay or not. What is important to ask yourself is do you love him as a person and do you want to be with him even if he is?

gemma, 11 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

I understand your shock but you do need to talk your husband to get any answers, he is the only one who can answer your questions and tell you how he feels. It maybe the fact that its a fetish or curiousity, but you need answers to make you understand. It doesnt mean he doesnt love you and he may be relieved that you have seen him for yourself. Opening up to him and telling him what you saw and how you feel about it will give you both the opportunity to talk and sort this out. Good luck

Laura, 11 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Well I dress as a woman everyday, I mean silky sheer panties, a lacy bra and silicone breast inserts, s full slip, thigh high stockings and high heels with usually a silky flowing polyester dress and fix my long hair like a woman. I wear full makeup lipstick, eyeliner and shadow everything. I have long nails keep them painted and have both ears pierced and wear long dangling earrings. I wear perfume and look, smell, act and live as a woman full time 24/7 and wear silky nighties to bed. I use the ladies restroom and try on lingerie in womens lingerie stores or department stores. I basically am saying I live as a woman and society accepts me as a woman. I am 5'6" tall and 110 lbs and have recently started hormones. I shave my legs underarms and have little to no body hair. Now with this said I am happy married and my wife loves me like this. She says I am better than a masculine husband could ever be and since we wear the same size we share dresses and sometimes bras, no panties however. So now what is your problem?

Jeff, 11 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

I am sure it was a shock, but it happens a lot, more than you realize. Diffrerent women react differently to it. I have a wonderfully understanding wife who actually likes me wearing skirts because, as she says, it gives her easy access... It is a fetish and a very intoxicating one, he has probably been doing this for many years, and it is unlikely that he will ever stop. So please talk about it and try and understand it. It is a complex issue, and there are many things going on - the sensual feel of the material, the thril of doing something forbidden, railing at society for not allowing men to wear skirts when women can so easily wear trousers - Yes you crossdress too by wearing trousers, have you thougt of that! Why not buy him a sarong, which is skirt like garment which can be worn by men and let him be open about it around the house - they are so comfortable. This will lessen the desire to do it all in secret which is probably what has hurt you the most. Be honest with each other and talk it through - a strong marriage can withstand this - I know. Good luck.

x-man, 12 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

I've been married for 20 yrs and have been cross dressing since I was 8 that 34 yrs I'm not interested in men at all it just makes me feel good to wear those sexy womens clothes. My wife is very under standing and she actually joins in by dressing me up. I suggest you talk to your man and tell him if it makes him feel good then it make you feel good if you can't get past the fact that your man is cross dressing then there is no hope for the 2 of you.

Sally, 12 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

My Fiance does the same thing, and he is also the manliest of men... It's a fetish, that's all... But he never forgets who the woman is when I stand next to him... Don't worry, he is still the man you love

Tez, about 1 year [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Have you tried talking to him??? Obvious I know, but he may not know how to tell you about this secret of his (because of shame/embarrisment), someone has to take the bull by the horns to sort this problem out. You may be surprised by his reasonning, he may not even know why he does it. But this doesn't mean he is gay, you won't know unless you talk to him, he may be just has confused has you. Please talk to him for the sake of yor marriage, don't become another statistic, by running from the first bump on your marriage road (and believe me, it can get bumpy), take the bump head-on and get over it together. Good Luck

Jenni, about 1 year [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Don't worry about it, I'm the most manly man there is, but get turned on by doing the same thing. People are ignorant to think it has anything to do with being gay. Gay is a man who likes a man. Getting turned on by womens things, is a fetish, such as oral sex, bondage, etc. I hate when people lump fethishs with gays.

sarah burns, about 1 year [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Talk to him about it and just accept it as a creative outlet and a normal form of self expression and dressing up. it is strange at first, but you just get used to it in time. It is not a reason to affect your relationship. Crossdressers tend to make amazingly supportive and wonderful fathers.

sarah burns, about 1 year [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Lots of heterosexual men cross dress, Particularly men who have a high level of power and responsibility in their jobs. It is NORMAL in high status men. They are not gay or strange or perverted. They use it to express their gentler side and to escape for a night from their high pressured, eextremely testosterone driven day jobs. Remember, its only been the last century that heterosexual men have dressed drabbly, look at the way men dressed pre C19. HTH

Chooi, about 1 year [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

I think at times man just fancy of women's apparel. Psychologically we called this fetism. Its not something really serious as compare hardcore murder or kidnap. My best guess could be he loves you so much that he wanted to feel how you feel esp when you dressed in his favourite apparel! My suggestion - wear those apparel that you saw him wearing, at a nite and ask him how he feel. If he really excited and eager then its a good sign that you have nothing to worry about as I had said earlier. Worst is if he behave negatively then you have something to worry. Just my two cents opinion