'My husband likes to dress up in women's clothing'

(166 ratings)
Woman upset with hands on head
I'd suspected for a long time, but lately I've become certain that my husband likes to wear women's clothes.

I first noticed something weird going on when I came home from work and found my clothes all crinkled up and moved around a couple of times .

I like everything neat and tidy and that's the only reason I noticed they weren't how I left them. I said to him 'Why have you been in my wardrobe?' and he just muttered something about looking for a shirt.

This happened a few more times and I started to worry about what he was doing with my clothes - I even thought maybe he had another woman.

One day it all became very clear. He works from home usually and is his own boss so is pretty flexible about hours. I'd taken a half day to surprise him as we'd both been really busy lately and I wanted us to spend some quality time together.

I got home about 2pm and let myself in, I heard the radio on upstairs so I went up and walked in to our bedroom. There I saw something so bad I didn't know what to do.

My husband - the man I love - was standing in front of the mirror in our bedroom wearing my slinky black dress and fishnet stockings and dancing to Wham!

I felt sick. I didn't know what to do and as he hadn't seen me. I snuck back out the room, left the house and just went to the park and cried. This was about a week ago. I've barely spoken to him since - he knows something's wrong but has no idea what it is. I just don't know what to do - what does it mean? Is he gay? Does he want to be a woman? What? We were talking about trying for a baby, now I can't bear to look at him.

I love him so much but I don't know if I can deal with this. I want to just pretend I never saw it, maybe then things could go back to the way they were. I'd appreciate anyone's advice as I can't talk to anyone I know about this, it's too shameful.


Our friends at Now magazine have rounded up pics of 10 celebrity men dressed as women. Have a peek!

Continued below...

What do you think of Megan's situation? Leave us a comment to let us know

Your rating

Average rating

  • 4
(166 ratings)

Your comments


Megan, I'm sorry you found out like that. That had to be the most shameful feeling ever. I am a man who also likes to wear womens clothing. I don't want to be a woman....or gay! I recently (within the last 6 months) had begun wearing womens clothing. However, my wife (of 18 years) had no idea i liked this. I began dropping hints that i wanted to try wearing this or that. She laughed...I laughed...and it took some time to truly get the point across to my wife that i wasn't kidding. She asked me if I was gay or wanted to be a woman. I said no.. I just liked the softness of the clothes. I do have a job in which I am the boss in a very stressful enviroment. It does help to let loose and give in to my urge to dress up. My wife is excepting of this and supports me. She even shops for clothes for me. I love her very much. Sometimes I feel like I don't desserve her, or that maybe she doesn't want to be with someone like me. But we talk about it when I feel like this and she still wants me to feel comfortable in dressing up. Anyway, I could go on and on...just talk to him. Dressing up is not the end of the doesn't mean he doesn't love you...and it would almost positively make your relationship stronger. Besides you could come out ahead...tell him he could buy some clothes but the deal is one for him one for you!


What's your problem Megan? Every man likes to feel the silkiness of his wifes clothes next to his body...What better way than wearing her clothes?


I read your story and I understand the way you feel as I had a similar experience few years back with my husband. I felt betrayed and confused. It took me almost a year to discuss it with him. When I did he admitted that he is sexually attracted to men. He also said that he adores me and to loose me it would be the worst thing happening to him. I know that he meant it. We are still together. He is the person who can 'read' my mind and cares about me. I care about him too. I don't know if your husband is gay or not. What is important to ask yourself is do you love him as a person and do you want to be with him even if he is?


I understand your shock but you do need to talk your husband to get any answers, he is the only one who can answer your questions and tell you how he feels. It maybe the fact that its a fetish or curiousity, but you need answers to make you understand. It doesnt mean he doesnt love you and he may be relieved that you have seen him for yourself. Opening up to him and telling him what you saw and how you feel about it will give you both the opportunity to talk and sort this out. Good luck


Well I dress as a woman everyday, I mean silky sheer panties, a lacy bra and silicone breast inserts, s full slip, thigh high stockings and high heels with usually a silky flowing polyester dress and fix my long hair like a woman. I wear full makeup lipstick, eyeliner and shadow everything. I have long nails keep them painted and have both ears pierced and wear long dangling earrings. I wear perfume and look, smell, act and live as a woman full time 24/7 and wear silky nighties to bed. I use the ladies restroom and try on lingerie in womens lingerie stores or department stores. I basically am saying I live as a woman and society accepts me as a woman. I am 5'6" tall and 110 lbs and have recently started hormones. I shave my legs underarms and have little to no body hair. Now with this said I am happy married and my wife loves me like this. She says I am better than a masculine husband could ever be and since we wear the same size we share dresses and sometimes bras, no panties however. So now what is your problem?


I am sure it was a shock, but it happens a lot, more than you realize. Diffrerent women react differently to it. I have a wonderfully understanding wife who actually likes me wearing skirts because, as she says, it gives her easy access... It is a fetish and a very intoxicating one, he has probably been doing this for many years, and it is unlikely that he will ever stop. So please talk about it and try and understand it. It is a complex issue, and there are many things going on - the sensual feel of the material, the thril of doing something forbidden, railing at society for not allowing men to wear skirts when women can so easily wear trousers - Yes you crossdress too by wearing trousers, have you thougt of that! Why not buy him a sarong, which is skirt like garment which can be worn by men and let him be open about it around the house - they are so comfortable. This will lessen the desire to do it all in secret which is probably what has hurt you the most. Be honest with each other and talk it through - a strong marriage can withstand this - I know. Good luck.


I've been married for 20 yrs and have been cross dressing since I was 8 that 34 yrs I'm not interested in men at all it just makes me feel good to wear those sexy womens clothes. My wife is very under standing and she actually joins in by dressing me up. I suggest you talk to your man and tell him if it makes him feel good then it make you feel good if you can't get past the fact that your man is cross dressing then there is no hope for the 2 of you.


My Fiance does the same thing, and he is also the manliest of men... It's a fetish, that's all... But he never forgets who the woman is when I stand next to him... Don't worry, he is still the man you love


Have you tried talking to him??? Obvious I know, but he may not know how to tell you about this secret of his (because of shame/embarrisment), someone has to take the bull by the horns to sort this problem out. You may be surprised by his reasonning, he may not even know why he does it. But this doesn't mean he is gay, you won't know unless you talk to him, he may be just has confused has you. Please talk to him for the sake of yor marriage, don't become another statistic, by running from the first bump on your marriage road (and believe me, it can get bumpy), take the bump head-on and get over it together. Good Luck


Don't worry about it, I'm the most manly man there is, but get turned on by doing the same thing. People are ignorant to think it has anything to do with being gay. Gay is a man who likes a man. Getting turned on by womens things, is a fetish, such as oral sex, bondage, etc. I hate when people lump fethishs with gays.

sarah burns

Talk to him about it and just accept it as a creative outlet and a normal form of self expression and dressing up. it is strange at first, but you just get used to it in time. It is not a reason to affect your relationship. Crossdressers tend to make amazingly supportive and wonderful fathers.

sarah burns

Lots of heterosexual men cross dress, Particularly men who have a high level of power and responsibility in their jobs. It is NORMAL in high status men. They are not gay or strange or perverted. They use it to express their gentler side and to escape for a night from their high pressured, eextremely testosterone driven day jobs. Remember, its only been the last century that heterosexual men have dressed drabbly, look at the way men dressed pre C19. HTH


I think at times man just fancy of women's apparel. Psychologically we called this fetism. Its not something really serious as compare hardcore murder or kidnap. My best guess could be he loves you so much that he wanted to feel how you feel esp when you dressed in his favourite apparel! My suggestion - wear those apparel that you saw him wearing, at a nite and ask him how he feel. If he really excited and eager then its a good sign that you have nothing to worry about as I had said earlier. Worst is if he behave negatively then you have something to worry. Just my two cents opinion

Michael O

Wow! He is sick alright! Dancing to Wham proves that. As to wearing your clothes, better tell him to buy his own. Dont want to stretch yours eh? Cant really see much wrong apart from that. I wear nylon and satin nighties to bed, and my wife doesnt mind too much, as she loves me for who I am, not what I wear. We all have a fetish (dont we?), mine happens to be the feel of those lovely fabrics. I am a crosdresser, not a transvestite, the difference being I have no desire to be a woman, or even completely dress like one. I cant see a point to wearing a bra for example, as I dont have boobs. Dont fret girl, you do love him dont you, better try and support him and try to understand his desires.


You should make Your husband into Your sissymaid, he will do anything for You if he really loves You. And You can have so much fun humiliating him, and making him please you.


I've been crossdressing in secret since I was 10, after 20 years of marriage I told my wife I wore womens clothes. She didn't understand but didn't punish me or make a scene. We just never talked about it again and I think she thinks I have given it up. The urge actually is stronger now, you must talk and reach a compromise.


Think about how he treats you when you wear male clothing (trousers, jeans etc) and treat him the same way how would you feel if he stopped talking to you every time you wore your jeans! most males who cross dress are not gay and dont want to be a woman but just like the feel and softness of womens clothing and are normally more considerate and thought full than other men. he is still the same person yo first met


Hey Megan, I can relate, I have been through a similar experience to you. At first I couldn't stand the sight of him, and was prepared to walk away from the relationship. BUT, after conducting my own research on WHY he was like this and also spoke to him about it asking question after question, you will find that it really is harmless and for your partner, probably just a fantasy. Some men enjoy the thought of being a woman (and why wouln't they, we're HOT) the term used is 'Autogynephilia' or 'Forced Feminization' I suggest you look it up. I do not believe your partner is gay, nor bi-sexual, but just purely enjoys the THOUGHT of being a woman. My partner and I now are having the best sex of our lives, as I enjoy forcing him into being a woman, and he loves the humiliation of it. It's empowering and erotic. I think you should give it a go, you may be quite surprised yourself how enjoyable it is. Best of Luck. H.


Wow! Megan thats crazy i just found out last week that my boyfriend of a year and a half dresses as a woman he had left the house to run some errands when i was on the laptop i say a USB connector thing on our bed so i connected it to the laptop when i seen the pictures and videos my heart dropped and i couldnt breath i thought why me god! and then i felt sick liek pukey sick he was wearing a wig and makup my botty shorts over fishnet stockings and high heels my bra with face boobs in them and ones where he was wearing my dresses and other clothes and there was a video where he masterbated while he was watching porn on the labtop of what i thought was a girl but had male genetalia it made me sick and it made me feel like he didnt desire me like i wasnt good enough for him lke i was a cover up for him so i confronted him right away and he told me that there has always been something off in his brain since he was a kid so i asked if he liked men he said no and i said do u want to be a woman he said no and i asked if he got off on it he said sometimes so i dont know its something u cant understand and dont try i think u have to just accept it as part of who they are or get out of the relationship if you dont like it i first felt sad then sorry for him then so angry but then i asked him what he wanted in life where he wanted to be in 5 years and he said he wanted to be married to me and have kids and he wanted to stop doing this and wanted me to help him so i told him we had to throw all of his stuff away and whenever he had thoughts of doing this like dressing up to jot it down in a notebook and he agreed i think this is more recent what has been happening cause he got laid off in november last year and before he was either working all the time or with me so i know now that hes been at home is when these ideas started happening and he started dressing like this but i have faith that we can put this behind us in move on otherwise i told him if its not me that you want or im not in ur plans in the future then tell me now cause im not gonna waste my time...i still see the images in my head from time to time or when im looking at him sometimes i picture him dressed as a woman like in the pics and videos i hope that will someday go away cause i love him so much and by looking at him and taking to him hes a manly man thats why it took me by suprise...i hope this helps megan but im glad im not the only one going throught this.

Michael O

I don't know what your problem is? Whats shameful? Its only clothing, not him screwing around with another woman - or man! Lighten up girl and talk to him about it, that is if you really love him. I too love the feel of lingerie and all those "girly" fabrics and would even enjoy wearing the same if it wasn't for societies taboos, but I can at least enjoy the sensations of those clothes against my skin at home. I generally wear only satin nightshirts for the comfort, but sometimes a nylon nightgown and my wife doesn't mind as she loves me regardless of my fetish. He isn't hurting anyone sot you shouldn't think he is weird, or gay. I think you are lucky you are obviously the same size, so try on his clothes to see how they compare - I suggest you will soon understand why some men like the soft girly fabrics! Good luck.


Women are always telling us guys to get in touch with our feminine side and when we do they still aren't happy :-) Joking aside..I'm beginning to experiment with clothing and make-up just for fun just to see how it feels. Why does it have to be a big deal...there is no harm in it...and I'm learning too...I realise now that every woman is an artist and each time they put on their makeu it literally is a work of art. your mind a is too short and there are much worse things in the world. J


Dear Megan, you like everything neat and tidy, but life is far from perfect. We are brought up to fit into the fashion houses ideas of what makes them lots of money, for the last 100 years or so since modern factories created these 'Fashion Houses'. Men have every right to push these rediculous boundaries back and wear what pleases them, just as women do when they wear slacks and jeans and mens shirts and shorts. There is no rhyme or reason for women to wear men's clothing like shirts and jeans but they do so in huge numbers much against the desires of Fashion Marketing Houses wanting to sell them the latest in fashion finery. What perverse fate has befallen men who needed coarse clothing in days of yore when we mostly worked the land, then moved into strict Victoriana when business dress ruled the day and every man had to wear a 'Bowler Hat, a heavy Fedora style coat, and carry an umbrella. Much walking all day in cold and wet, was commonplace and sturdy boots were required to stand such punishment. While women stayed home and became softened, and soft femme high fashion clothing pushed by Fashion Houses to please women bored by being at home, while men worked the mines and factories in heavy clothing. What has this got to do with modern man softened by continuous study and this modern computer environment. He has grown up mollycoddled in the security of a suburban home as women were a hundred years ago, and has never had need for heavy 'Old fashioned' austere Victorian clothing, that women perceive wrongly as being manly, so they might feel more feminine in spite of being too lazy to indulge their menfolk by being more sexually oriented. It has been too easy for women brought up believing men do all the nasty jobs while they being soft and femme indulge themselves into believing that men not only have NO right to pamper themselves like women but would not be men if they presumed to dare push back these womens fashion imposed boundaries. What gives women this divine right? No it is the women have confused men's values by masculizing themselves, and now feel threatened by modern man liking some of the softer, sexier fashions, previously hogged by women. Men also want to be and feel sexy, to feel desirable and sexually attractive. We NEED to catch up to womens fashions and find new ways to express our desires, and to learn to wear bright softer more fashionable attire. Before the fashion houses decided 100yrs ago that women were the easy target for their produce, it was men who were the 'Peacocks of fashion. Study any history book. Go even now to any Greek Island and see the women working as they did a hundred years ago in plain black garb, doing all the work while the men sit around drinking and parading themselves as desirable to young women. Try Mexico where every town still has a walled Hotel specializing in short assignation activity for smartly dressed older men and young footloose women, while married ladies work at home. All far removed lifestyles from what the expectations of the average indolent North American young women not educated or even prepared to consider sex outside their limited education, leaving them unable to think outside their 'Box', their frames of reference. It is time for man to restore his right to wear what pleases him and to hell with modern fragile women's egos.


Men's clothes are rough and unnecessarily macho. I am a man and prefer women's clothing. I have even slept with my wife while putting on lace and have enjoyed it more, especially when she's rubbed the frills of my petticoat against my thigh. Let your husband enjoy the finer things in life that we, as men, are denied everyday. Tonight I will be sleeping in a panty, tights, a petticoat, skirt and lace top with frills. But I am not - and will never be -gay.




I've been crossdressing since I was a teen I started as most I think just experimenting and getting a thrill from it. I had sex with male friends when young (not since), but do agree that does not mean he's gay. I don't think that any two people have the same feelings or are the same in any way. There is nothing written in stone why one crossdresses but in my case I know it's something I can't stop. In my case I'd love to be totally bi and just enjoy sex, but due to disease today that's not smart. It's really up to you what your willing to accept and how truth full he is, that is not always something most gurls(guys) want to admit to. Try a counselor if you really think you want to stick it out. I was also married for 30 years before my wife passed on, she also knew of my dressing but also did not approve or want to see it. My present girl knows nothing of my secret and I'm going to keep it that way as I don't think she would accept it either and I won't do anything to put her at risk.....The choice is yours but do find someone to talk to.


Megan, I can certainly understand how seeing your husband dressed as you described could cause you a tremendous amout of confusion and worry. I found out about my husband's desires in almost the same exact way, and it about destroyed our relationship. As much as he didn't want to talk about it when I brought it up, I forced the issue and he finally opened up to me. As he talked about the confusion it had caused him, his worry that it meant he wasn't a "real" man, and his fear of losing me, he started to cry. I felt so sorry for him. For a man, it must be a terrible burden to be forced by societal predjudices to keep those desires secret. And then I looked at what I was wearring at the time; jeans and my old college sweatshirt; clothing that at one time were strictly men's clothing. And I asked myself, do the clothes really matter? Of course not - they're just clothes for goodness sakes, And if wearring them gives my husband some feeling that I don't understand, why should I interfere? Suffice to say that if anything our marriage is healthy, and our love for eachother is stronger than it has ever been. Talk to him. Ask questions, and if you can get passed inborn societal predjudices enjoy his feminine side. It might be a lot of fun.


i know where you're coming from!!! my hubby just the other night, asked me to paint his toenails and he's wanted to wear my 'teddies' while having sex. i'm alot younger than 14 years! i too questioned him if he was gay and even asked him if he's questioned himself about that....he says no and all you can do is believe what they tell you and trust it's the truth. i completly agree with 'sarah burns'...have fun with it or at least try to!!! if you're marriage is strong enough, it'll overcome this of luck!!!


my husband loves to dress up, and i have fun helping him. he is very pretty and feminine while "she" is a woman. she loves to do house work and let me sit around while she cleans the house washes dishes anything feminine she loves to do. I love him just as much as i love her. she likes to give oral to men and sometimes likes from behind, but we always have sex with 1 or 2 guys and we are together, we never have secret sex. he is still very good in bed when he is in Man Mode, but she is very girly when she dresses up. her name is Shelly. it's ok to let him be a girl sometimes it can even be fun.


im a young 17 year old, and i've only been cross dressing since i was 15. i enjoy it very much as the clothes feel so smooth on my skin. i dont know how to tell my parent's?


Liking to wear women's clothing isn't necessarily a sign he's gay. Some men just like the feel of the fabric on their skin. Let's be honest, your silk panties feel nicer than his boxers. You need to speak to your husband honestly, and maybe even with a counciller, to find out what he likes about the clothes. Don't judge him, because you risk to push him further into it and, maybe, into believing that he IS gay. Try and be supportive and let him know you love him no matter what. Have an open and frank chat about your feelings and see what happens.


Megan I have been married for 10 years and my husband had just told me that he is bisexual and likes to dress in my female clothes. While i am at work and the kids are at school he dresses in his female look, but when it time for the kids to come home it is all man again. It may feel and seem weird but you really just need to sit down and talk to him about believe it or not it may just bring the both of you a whole heck of alot closer it has in my relationship. We have our days were we role play to help one anothe out. He doesn't like to spell out to me what he wants so i have actually been trying to find someone who can help me there so i can plan a nice evening for the both of us.


This fetish is more popular than you think, just ask any sex worker, such as a professional dominatrix or prostitute (or read a memoire written by one). I am very masculine, but one of my ultimate fantasies, which I am too ashamed to share with my wife, is for her (dressed up as dominatrix) to force me to dress up as a woman - stilletos, stockings, mini-dress, the whole works, as "punishment" for something. She then uses a strap-on to become the male, and treat me as a female. This role-switching idea is so appealing because it is different, extremely kinky and taboo, but it also lets you drop the TOUGH and VIRILE MAN mask for a minute and experience what its like to be female and submissive. (I'm not saying that woman ARE submissive.) I saw an interview of sex workers on TV and they all said that such "effeminization" was among the most popular requests by their clients. Obviously, those men were not gay, because they could have sought gay prostitutes.


My husband does the same thing. I found out a few years back when I discovered underwear and he told me it was his. There have been times when I have come home early from work and not been able to get into the house. Since first finding out; I have come to realise that it is worse than I first thought. My husband says he is not gay however when he is dressed as a woman he looks at images of men dressed as women on the internet. Unfortunately i have started having an affair as I no longer fancy my husband now. We have two children. My husband is my best friend. He doesn't know about the affair but it is my way of trying to keep everything together for the sake of my kids. I have contemplated ending the marriage but I worry that the children will not have everything that they would have in a marriage. My husband and I don't fall out. We are the best of friends. I can't give you any advice as I have no idea what I'm doing or should do either. Good luck


I just found out about my long time boy friend and everything was going great until he asked me to give him sex in the but area and I did and now I want to know if he is bisexual and what are the sgins.


First things first. Your husband probably still loves you and is not gay. You need to do some research on this subject to be better informed before you talk with him. It is never easy to find your husband in your clothing, it shatters everything you ever thought you knew about men and women. I will say this though it is all on your terms from here. When you find what you are ok with then talk to him. He will be angry he was caught so you may try to find a good calm way to bring it up. You may want to try getting a few female clothing catalogs and sit down and look at them with him. Ask him what he likes and slowly turn the talk in to treating and talking to him as a girl friend. It wouldn't hurt to dress a bit sexy yourself. In doing that it will relax him. If you want to know the truth about the way he feels you will have to make him comfy. I know you are left feeling betrayed try an make it fun. I know you feel confused and hurt but if you give this some time before talking to him it will go much better. Your husband is the same man you married but now you know his softer side. Many women can not understand that and it is natural to feel the way you do. If you are not ok with him dressing in fem you will have to find a middle of the road on this if you want to remain wiith him. However if you find you are ok with it behind close doors then I would say plan your talk for your benefit. lay out some very sexy clothing on the bed, Plan a great dinner with lots of wine for you both and after dinner both dress up and have the best mind shattering time of your lives. Don't give him the option to not dress up. You will find he will be MUCH more aware of your needs and therefore cause you a mind shattering time. Listen I know this is a very sensitive time for you and you may have mixed feelings, but this is OK. He will have to understand you will sometimes feel like just being with the man you knew and married and sometimes it is just dress up as girl friends. On the having a child issue. He will be a better,kinder, more understanding father. End of story on that. If you decide to work through this with him or not understand he can not help himself or herself with dressing. It is like an addiction almost. Just imagine yourself what it would be like to be told you can never again dress,act,think or feel as a women. It is no different for him. He will promise to never again dress in your clothing, but it is only a matter of time and he will have to sneek off and fill that need to feel as a women. weather you except this or not be kind and supportive to him.he has to feel so alone and his worst fear has already been realized. SOMEONE found out. It is good it was his loving wife. I know your next questions will be Is he wanting to become a women with a sex change,most likely NO. Will someone find out embarrising you. maby but if you have only now found out he is pretty good at keeping the secret and along with your support know one will ever know. If you become ok with this whole thing you can have the man you love a best friend, great shopping companion, someone to help around the house and he will never complain no matter what you want in the bedroom.


My husband of 21 years does the same thing and I hate it. He likes the fish net stockings and panties and hose. Anything really sexy. It is such a turn off to a woman to see her husband dressed like that! It just looks weird and it takes away their masculinity, in my eyes. I can't picture him in an attractive way anymore. I only see him dressed in my things. It makes my gut sick! I always dressed like that and when my stuff started to come up missing, I just quit and threw it all away. He would hide stuff all over and then I would find it. It causes distrust and lies and then you can't trust your partner anymore. Why stay together? I do for the happiness of my children and pray they never find out his sickening secret. I have boys and how would they understand this? Get out now and don't look back and for God's sake don't have his children. He will never change and all of his promises to do so will be lies. It's like someone addicted to cigarettes. He'll make you hate him if you stay and you'll end up like me, lonely and wanting a real man to make me feel good about the way I look in those clothes! Don't get stuck!


Ok, here we go. It is up to you to work out if you can accept this or not. I have had the same experience but at a very early stage of my relationship, I have been with my partner for 6 years now. I never got over this and it actually discusts me.I can not get sexually turned on by my partner any longer. I feel love for him but this has totally ruined our relationship. I am in the process of breaking up as freindship may still be an option. The best advice I can give you is do what does not cause anger or upset as this will harm both of you. Best of luck with everythung.


No his not gay. You should talk to your husband maybe he wanted to tell you ages ago but was worried about your reaction? Some men feel the need to wear womans clothes as it makes them feel good (so iv heard) and it doesnt mean his gay. His probably feeling really guilty about keeping this secret from you! If you love him as much as you say you do..why not talk to him? & accept the fact his into dressing up. I hope it all goes well and good luck.


I can only speak from my own life. Keeping secrets like this probably kills the man who loves you, and is terrified of losing you because of who he is. I started being a cd at 5 or 5, and nobody knows why. I have been to counseling, alone, and with my ex. I have never been with, or wanted a man. I lost my ex who told me later she regretted it, but you understand how she felt, and it takes a lot to get you mind around something like this. You aren't a lesbian if you keep him, you aren't "not enough", you are very likely his everything, but he just is. It drives you to be secret, because it isn't normal. I can tell you if you can find a way to embrace the whole of who he is without fear, he will worship the very ground you walk over. I tried to come out to my ex, and I lost everything, and I couldn't stop, although I tried. I wish you every happiness, hard as it may seem


my bf of 2 1/2 years crossdresses. not sure he ever would have told me, i found a box full of women's underwear, tv magazines, and shemale porn in the first couple months of dating. i almost broke things off with him without confronting him, but eventually talked it out with him. now i will dress him up and put makeup on him sometimes and i like it when he wears women's panties most of the time. however, it has continued to be a source of struggle with us. i indulge him as much as possible, but he never indulges in any of my fantasies and doesn't include me sometimes. i can never look at porn with him because only shemale porn or pics of other guys dressed up turns him on. its fun sometimes, but mostly i wish i was enough for him. i feel so left out. it's like having a third person in the relationship, one who has been here long before me and i know to turn him on more. it especially hurt when he used to seek out communication/meetings with other guys like him. i'm terrified of being one of those women whose husband leaves them 20 years down the road to be with a man.


I have been married for 14 years and I have been dealing with this for a long time now. My husband likes to dress up in women's clothing as well, he also shaves his legs. This is very hard for me because I know he loves me and he is a very good husband. He tells me that he has always felt like he is a woman on the inside and feels trappd inside a mans body. I don't know what to do with this information, how do I repond to that?? He is not gay, in fact I know he loves me and desires me but when I look at him this is all I can think about and I am SOO turned off by this. He has his own femal clothes he bought and evertime I leave the house I wonder if that's what he is doing. Of course this isn't something you can just talk about with family so I'm keeping it all bottled up and I just want to scream!!! He just acts like I should accept this and move on but what he doesn't know is that I can't be attracted to someone when I'm constatly thinking of them dressed up. I feel bad for him because it has caused him to be depressed and he feels like he can't do anything about it, but how long am I supposed to do this? He says even if we weren't together he still couldn't do anything about it because noone would accept him for what he is, so is he just staying with me because he doesn't want to be alone. He wants to talk about it all the time and every time we do I think it makes him feel closer to me but at the same time I feel very distant from him. I married my husband thinking I would have a husband.



Not Upset at All

I have just found out that my partner of 3 months likes to cross dress. I didn't catch him in my underwear or clothing, he told me himself and i think he thought that I might end our relationship...I will NEVER do that. In fact i feel honoured that he trusts me enough to tell me, is that what bothers you Megan? The fact that he kept it a secret or the fact that the clothes are yours?? If its the fact that he kept it a secret you need to ask yourself why hun, he's obviously been dressing up for a long time if he's singing Wham songs... Whilst I can imagine that you were very shocked by your discovery try to think back over ALL your years of marriage. Now ask yourself this...has he ever had an affair with ANYONE, man or woman? I think the answer is no.. Has he ever beat you to within an inch of your life? We know the answer to that one also... So that leaves one burning question in my mind, would you rather have a big butch Neanderthal of a husband who only cares about himself and his needs?, or would you choose, like I very happily have, the man who is in touch with his feminine side, who would move Hell and high water just to be there for you and who can understand the workings of the female psyche? I know where my heart lies.. My man is a revelation to me, he knows when I'm upset or in "womens'" pain, he knows just what to say when I'm in a strop over the kids and most of all HE loves ME. Just because he wears soft silky clothes and may put on a bit of lippy doesn't mean he's going to run away with a man or go have some illicit gay affair. You may not be as lucky as me, I have embraced my partner's fetish and to be quite honest I already knew, but I for one am waiting in anticipation for the time when we make love in our silky nightwear.......If i can wear it why not him also:) And if you can't stand the thought of him wearing yours, have you considered buying him his own "fem" wardrobe.....Now there's a thought for you. I do hope that you can get past this negative block and embrace your husband for who he is and not what he does to relieve the pressure of being perceived as "the man". He is every bit as complex as any other man, just with extra bonus features which can be a very VERY intimate and bonding feature of your marriage. Good Luck Megan, I hope you can do this..for yourself as well as your lovely,wonderful to you both xxxxxx


What about a women wearing man cloths. From what I have heard they like to ware our underware and other things. I was looking on the Internet to found a way of keeping my legs warm when I am working in the cold most of the time. I found out that baghanglers in the airports get a pairs of tights/pantyhose to keep warm but I do not know if it is true or not true so I thought tights/pantyhose are cheaper than longjhons so if I ripped a pair of tights/pantyhose then it is not to bad but a pair of longjons just for one could set you back &#194&#1633 or &#194&#1635 just for one pair but you can get five or more pairs of tights/pantyhose and where I work I can easly ripp a pair of longjhons.


Hi i have been crossdressing in my girlfriends clothes for a long time now and dont really know why but love the feel of them and also make me feel sexy and relaxed. I also love seeing her in something and how sexy she looks and i think this is why i put her things on, i think sometime she knows or suspects me as she has said things like if you ever done that then id leave and made coments like your the girl your mum never had, and even said one night i bet you put my clothes on when am out, for some unkown reason. am not gay and love her to bits and allways will but would love her to understand and be able to make love to her when dressed up.


What really bothers me is that you can live with someone for many years and be surprised at something like this. If you love someone then why would you be so condemning of them for a dressing issue. How does that make a successful relationship void. Why should you think less of him because he wants to wear your clothes or that you found out he was dressing in them. To have a spouse that truly loves you is a rarity and should be savored like a great wine. You will never go wrong with an individual that has that level of trust in you to be that open with you. To truly love someone is to trust them with your most inner desires. Never betray your lover and soul mate or you will lose them. True love is hard to find


I love the feel of silky nylon women's underwear, on women or on me! I have wrestled with how I can live with this and now think that one of the reasons I wear it is because of loneliness and the need for intimacy and affection. This has been lacking in recent years. My wife hates it but the more she hates it the more I find I do it. Horrible dilemma and she wont discuss or try to understand. Even if I gave it up completely, the fact that I once did it means that she does not want to be close to me any more. Some people have no forgiveness even though I have had to forgive her many times for more serious things.

Jenny Usher

i think you should talk to your man as i have had a similar problem. i am male and was unsue how to tell my wife of many years that i like to dress in womens clothes. for a long time i thought and was led to believe by the people closest to me that this was wrong and not natural. by talking to him you may find that he opens up to you and it helps your relationship, it does not mean he is gay or wants to become a woman he may simply like they way the clothes make him feel. hope this was helpful


During conversation a few weeks ago my husband announced he would love to try womens lingerie on as he loved the feel of it on me, I promptly went out and bought him some, its moved on from there to him wearing a maids outfit, basques, corsets, wig, heels etc but only for our fun days where we spend the whole day focussing on each other and our needs. I have to say its the best thing ever our sex life has increased no end of which we are both very happy about. I went through some doubts ie does he really want to become a woman, will he want to wear it out, will it be the only way we can have sex, so I openly discussed all my concerns with him and made him aware of how I felt so far so good we have no problems. Luckily we are both different sizes so he was never going to be able to wear my things, which I have to say I wouldn't like. I think as long as you are both open and honest with each other then its something that can enhance your relationship. I am aware that not all crossdressers do it for sexual gratification and that it runs much deeper for some but again as long as your honest and your partner is accepting I see no problems.


i think is wonderfull my husband has taking my place,i hate wearing my 38DDD i found him wearing it one day,i told him its ok,you can wear all my things,theen little by little force him too be me now that he has implants he had to wear my 38DDD and be the wife,i just love being the man and had my breast remove,


One more comment to Carl. It it were just flowing silky gowns I might not be so upset, but not when it is garterbelts,hose,thongs,bras,babydolls,etc., it's totally different. When he spends time and effort shopping for himself when he hasn't bought me anything in years, then that is totally different. I have loved him and tried to be there for him all these years and I just wish it had only been an affair.


Carl--the point is that she was told BEFORE you got married and had kids. I wasn't and I feel like my whole marriage and my whole life essentially was built on a lie. I am having panic attacks and feel absolutely heartbroken. I am not pushing him to go to therapy but I suspect that I will have to. I have told him that if anyone else finds out--especially our kids--and if I catch him doing it again in OUR house (it belongs as much to me as it does to him as I am quite self sufficient) then I will move out of state and cut off all ties with everyone I know except my kids. I should have been able to choose 32 years ago if I wanted to accept it.


I am glad to see that so many women are so tolerant of their husbands crossdressing. I ave been married for 35 years and have always enjoyed wearing soft, silky and flowing gowns. My wife new about it before we got married. she does not particularly like it, but she accepts it. By the way the thought of having sex with a man puts me off.


hey, I wouldnt worry about this... its no big deal. Okay he likes to dress like a girl but he is faithful and loves you... so if this is his only secret I would just let him get on with it, even watch him do it or make it part of your sex life now an again. Alot of guys like doing that but they are 100% straight and love their wifes/girl friend!! he could be doing alot worse so I think you shuld let him know you seen him and tell him how you feel..


Let's say you are both in your 50s and have been married for over 30 years. Your husband apparently started having ED right after you turned 40 and you feel that he isn't attracted to you anymore. Then throw in that you find his girly clothes. How are you supposed to react?

Michael GreyFeather

Hello Megan, First off I want to tell you that your husband is normal. He is not gay, does not think he is a woman in a man's body, he is not perverted, he is not sick in the head, he is not dangerous. Your husband is just a person born with a desire to wear the opposite genders clothing. He was born with this and has probably been doing it since he was a young child. It is a gender disorder which takes place in the womb during the sex identification cycle in the fetus. He is the same man you married, he is no different then before you caught him. If anything he needs your help and your support to deal with this. It is not somehting he wanted or decided to do over night or has been thinking about doing. It comes natural to him and is a natural part of him which will never go away. If you love him accept him for who he is for he is no different then he was before you caught him but now you know his secret which he has had all his life. I have written a story about myself as well as other men which is a true story and how most men live with this gender disorder. Read it and then go to your husband and tell him you love him and support him and that you will help him deal with this. Your husband has a great fear of being discovered and caught wearing your clothes and fears you will divorce him or hate him. He has lived with the fear of being caught all his life. Many men have been found out by their wives and their wives have accepted them and their lives have become even better then before they found out their husbands did this. Accepting this you will find that you and your husband will become even closer then you ever were. Help him keep his secret. If he wants it to be known he will tell someone about it. Don't tell anyone what you have found out because it will destroy your husbands life. This type of thing happens to many thousands and millions of men but they hide it from the world in hopes they will never be discovered. I know Truck drivers, preachers, teachers, professors, railroad workers, engineers, doctors, nurses, lawyers, judges, who do this which is called crossdressing. Actors, and I mean famous actors are crossdressers, it is not just somehting that happens to certain people, it happens to everyone male or female, in any race, any culture, any country in the world. He is not alone believe me and you are not alone in discovering what your husband does. Read this and get back to me... Here is the link to the story below........... I am the director and chief executive officer of a Transgender support orgainzation. I am here tohelp you deal with this Mike GreyFeather Web site:


I must admit that I would find it difficult to understand, if I found my wife dressed in my cloaths, however I that has never happened so I can try to explain why I like to wear both stockings and silky knickers. I am not gay, not even a little bit, I am tall and strongly built and rather manly looking, in general I am a powerful man in build and function, although I do have a bit of a tummy nowdays. The truth is, I love women, I love my wife and have always found her to be sexually exciting, I have never wanted to be unfaithful although I do tend to attract other women, in short, I am a flirt. My wife knows that I like to wear knickers and sometimes I go out with both stockings and french knickers on under my normal cloaths, especially when wearing a suit to a meeting etc. Sometimes she likes me to put these cloaths on before we make love but in truth this is rare, I wish she liked it more but beggers can't be choosers, I am greatful for the times it happens. I love the feel of sheer stockings confining my legs, I adore the feeing of silk across my lower torso but at the same time I know how stupid I must look, yet I still love wearing the underware that she occasionally buy's for me. I cannot speak for anyone else, however worried wives should know that just because a mand likes to wear soft feminin underware or any womens cloaths does not mean that he is infeminant or gay, in my case it simply means, I love women so much that their underware makes me feel absolutly great. Hope this helps. Warren


First off im a 25 year old male, ever since ive being young ive liked girls things. Its not something that i get do to get turned on by. Part of my brain is female. And to be honest i cant believe some of the answers that women have posted, how can ye be so ignorant and self centred stop thinking about yourselves and try putting yourselves in his shoes. Do you know how hard it is to live a normal life with something like this eatting away at you, men can only wear these clothes and woman can wear what ever they want. I'll be quiet honest i hate feeling like this, i didn't ask for it, i didn't decide to wakeup one day and say "hey i think just for a kick ill wear womans clothes". I nearly took my life before because of this, Women have being in uproar about equal rights for years, ha i even seen boxers for woman, and if im not wrong wasn't there a time when women could only wear dresses. Here is a test for any women reading this, go take a look in your wardrobe and count how many pairs of trousers, jeans, shirts, t-shirts that you own. Women dont even think twice about wearing male type clothes, but the minute males express an interest in female garments it turns yours guts. To be honest ive lost a great deal of respect for females over the last couple of years after checking into my condition, and im even more discusted with myself for wanting to be one of you.


My wife just caught me. It's shamefull and humiliating. I feel horrible and want to run away. She was condescending and ridiculed me. I'm so lost in a world of right and wrong that it's difficult to know what to do. I find acceptance on line with women who accept it and feed into it, although they are motivated by money, so knowing how they truly feel is difficult. Reading some of the comments makes me wonder if my wife is disgusted with me to a point where our relationship is irrecoverable. I thought I gave it up, but had a relapse. We hardly talk since the incident. I guess it's a vulnerable side of me, of my psyche, that wants no one to know, even in some respects I don't want myself to know. I wish I could go back to a time when I felt normal, when it was me and my girlfriend, just finding out what made us tick. It was a warm and comforting place. Now it's bullying and oppressive and all i want to do is hide under the covers.


Hi. When I read your story I had to add a comment. At the end of the day it's just cloth, Sociaty says it wrong but I don't think it is. How can clothes have a sex? Male or Female, They are inanimate objects.Talk to your partner, If you love him as you claim. It may be hard to understand at first. I mean lets face it, Look at what men have had to put up with. Y fronts, tidy whities and boxer shorts all made from cotton is it any wonder more and more men want to wear silky undies like the ones you women wear. Don't ignore him, Talk to him and simply ask if he wants to be a female or was it something else. Be honest with him and he should be honest with you. Good luck to you.

Sophia Smith

Grow up! could you be more childish? so your husband xdresses BIG deal! is he cheating on you, lying to you, abusing you, stealing from you, sitting around the house on his arse not working, getting drunk and beating you... NO! he expresses his fem side (which everyone has one, male or female) he is hiding this from you 1. Judging by your remarks he's right not to and 2. he feels he can't tell anyone and if tells you he will condem you to hiding it as well... or it should as you should respect his feelings and keep it between just you two unless you both agree to be more open but no not you you'd rather shout about it on the net, wow your just a prize ain't you. and if he happens to be transgender well lucky you... as transgender males are genraly more loving, caring, considerate, thoughfull and better husbands and better people in everyway compared ''real'' men (what ever that is???? but you don't deserve a TG partner


My wife and I have come to an agreeable compromise. I don't flaunt; she doesn't care. Most times she doesn't even know I'm wearing anything risque under my male clothes. As for our intimate times, about a quarter of the time I get to wear heels, hose and waist cincher/garter belt - no bra during these times - she just does not like it and I have no right to push beyond her tolerance level. In entering such a non-specific agreement, I am always cognizant of her pleasure. I am getting my pleasure so I am well attuned to hers. After two years of courting, 11 years of marriage and two school age children, she still claims to have no fantasies or fetishes, but loves me enough to know that this is a part of who I am and what in part makes me a giving and honest partner. No one else knows, as far as I know, though I have told her that she is free to share my story with any of her girlfriends if they need consolation in dealing with a similar situation in their relationships. I have tried to research the statistics, but there's nothing solid out there. It's so taboo, you can't get valid and reliable statistics, but it ranges from 1% to as high as 30%. I must admit that it is exciting that she has exclusive rights to this knowledge and she can quite honestly destroy me at any time or keep me as her completely devoted and loving partner. It is absolutely mind-blowing to pleasure her while crossdressed, to be so open an into the moment unreserved. How many out there worrying about playing a strictly defined, socially acceptable role can be that free?


My dad does this he wear lipstick, My mum found out he had been wearing her clothes and make up when me and my sister where still really young. She stayed with him for me and my sister on the condition we never found out. As we got older we noticed little things till one day when i was about 13 an we were on holiday i saw him in one of my mums dresses when he thought i was a sleep i told my mum and she tryed to lie for him but i new what id seen and the truth came out. He promised he would stop as he didnt want to lose us but with in a few weeks we saw the signes again. I'm 21 now and four weeks ago i caught him red handerd (well red lipsticked) and then he tryed to act like it didnt happen. My mum has now left him. I know this my sound harsh but if you stay with him and he doesnt stop dont have kids, both me and my sister feel sickend by our dad and cant stand to be around him and have done our best to stay away from him since we found out all those years ago. Its something that really scar us and affected us badly.


hi, ive just found out after 10yrs of marriage that my hubby cross dresses, ive been through every emotion going, i was thinking of leaving him but our love is still very strong so i chose to stay and now im very glad i did, he never makes love to me dressed, but i help him express himself now and our relationship is stronger than ever. most men tend to do it because its pure stress, work, family, bills, but they are still the same man u married. you should tell him uve seen him and try and be understanding, ask questions so its clear in ur mind, i left it a yr before i said anything but i no now i should of said something sooner to save all the heart ache of it. for ur own piece of mind TALK TO HIM. good luck :0)


im a boy and im 15 and i crossdress all the time i dont know why i do it my cousin dressed me up as a joke when i was younger and i kinda liked it so now i do it whenever i can like when theress no one in y house but anyway i feel nothing gay about it atall i just do it for the thrill of it so im guessing that your husband isnt gay he is just expressing himself in ways he dosnt think others agree with thats probably why he dosnt talk to you about it mabye you should just mention crossdressing to him a few times like i dunno if your watching a movie about that sort of thing and just see how he responds

Jane Christine

I crossdress all the time, I love going out shopping buying dresses shoes & make up i am learning all the time and i ask woman how i can look just like them its great getting makeup & dressing tips off them also when i am out most girls are very interested why i dress like this and love to chat with me i would say to you support your husband as he could do with your love and understanding.....




Listen, don't rush to make this a bigger problem than it is. There is nothing wrong with what he is doing, he is simply expressing himself. It is different for all men, but some like to use crossdressing as an escape from their own lives and responsilibities, it is about taking a new identity for a few hours a week. It doesn't mean he is gay or that he wants a sex change. Don't force him to hide from you any longer, tell him you saw him, tell him how much it shocked you and let him tell you why he does it. It would be wonderful if he could share this with you, but if you don't think you could be comfortable actually seeing him do it, let him know that he should do it only when you are not around, but perhaps try and understand that this is as much a part of him as any other part of his personality. I just found out after my father died that he was a crossdresser, and I wish he had told me, I would not have been ashamed, he was still my father, he was still a good man, nothing has to change.

chris moss

before you condem him ask him about it,you cannot bottle it up it will only play on you mind and make it a lot worse than it is, to many marriages fail because you do not communicate with each other,


Unloved. I have got to ask this. How would you like it if you were limited to what you could wear, to only in the house. I am not talking neglige or other undergarments for the world to see, I am talking the types of jeans, or pants you choose to wear, or for that matter the types of shoes or shirt or hairstyle or makeup, what ever. You placing limitations on your husband in what he can wear, how he can express himself, is JUST AS BAD as when men told women how they should dress when out and about or in the public light. Honestly I don't get women enforcing the same BS rules on men as there were enforced upon women not 4 decades ago. If guys were just allowed the same latitude of expression as women can, true crossdressers may not be as common. But men are limited in what they can wear. They have a very limited choice in what they can wear, and they are forbidden for the most part to loose pants like garments for below the waist. It is ludicrous and blatantly sexist. To all women, stop supporting sexist and outdated gender rules that for the most part have done nothing for society as a whole.


My partner found out about my crossdressing sometime ago and has only now come round to allow me to wear her underwear while as was married before my ex used to allow me to wear all of her things and she would even lay her clothes out on the bed for me when i came home so i have tried many things but this was surpassed at the weekend when my current partner who has always until now not really understood why i like to wear silky knickers and i have tried to explain to her the feeling i get actuall while we were out bought me and helped me choose some sexy underwear she even suggested the size i should get and choose the colours as well now i am very happy and awaiting our next shopping trip together to see what suggestions she will have


Cross-dressing harms nobody. I have been wearing hose and lingerie since I was 12. I do it for sexual stimulation. My wife knows and participates and says she likes it. Even if she did not she loves me enough that she would be ok knowing. I have experimented and found I am definitely not gay. Just keep an open mind and if you really hate it ask him to do it only in private.


I'm a crossdresser, or transvestite, whichever you prefer, and have been dressing as a woman most of my life. I am lucky in that I can pass in public - no-one suspects I'm a guy. I dress smart casual, my aim being to blend in with other women, and go to a great deal of trouble to get everything just right, appearance, voice, deportment etc, and it gives me a great thrill to know I can appear to everyone as an ordinary woman shopping or whatever. Because I look like an ordinary woman (and not Lily Savage!) all my neighbours accept me as I am which is fine. My partner accepts my crossdressing, but initially didn't like it at all, and given the choice 99% of crossdressers partners would prefer they didn't do it. I have many crossdresser friends, most can pass in public, but some cannot, and dress in secret at home when their partners are not around, which is a shame. What us crossdressers do is completely harmless and of course great fun. Most of us are definitely not gay, although a small percentage are, and some are bisexual. Me? Well I like women so much I want to be one at times! So Megan, please don't be harsh on your partner, there are thousands of men like him and most are loving just like any other chap.


listen luv I am a 23 guy, completely straight (no not in denial, have experimented but not for me), the wost thing you can do is pigeon hole him r brand him as one particular thing, people are not just manly or femenine or whatever, put it this way you would probably prefere to go shopping most days but ever so often you wanna go bowling. the fact is that 90 of cross dressers are straight male looking for an outlet for a certain part of their persanality, he is most likely not gay. the best thing you could do is gently tell him and explore it with him, it might just be a little kink that he wants to play with now and again. dress him up and play with him (it might turn you on too) i doesn't meen he should waer them everyday or everytime you have sex that would be a compulsion but as it stands, its nothing. I for example like to wear my gfs clothes iocasionaly when we have sex or let her use her dildo/strap on me, its a particular type of play for occasion when we feel like it, the majority we have what you would consider to be a normal sex life. Its about openeness and intimacy. girls and boys are in to all kinds of freaky s***, as long as hese not deluded or wants to live a new life as a lesbian couple and call himself Sandra I wouldn't worry and in fact if you can enjoy it with him.


i have a lot of friends who are crossdressers, some of whom are gay but only a small percentage and they have always been gay. most crossdressers are straight, it can either be just a sexual turn on for them some prefer the lifestyle of wearing beautiful clothes. i am also in a relationship with a crossdresser, and to be honest it is wonderful. we both love each other dearly, and we have a great sex life. i knew from the start that he was a crossdresser, but as my marriage had been what some might call a normal relationship, i met my partner after i was widowed, it was still a bit strange at first. but there is nothing wrong in wanting to feel silky soft materials next to your skin, why should this be for women only, we have girly nights where the two of us dress up, other times it can just be a case of him wearing silky or lacey underwear, the thing is that you both take part in this. surprise him one night wear stockings, show him what your wearing, and then produce another pair of stockings and say now your turn. you will be surprised by his response and it will bring you closer together and he will find it easier to open up to you. plus the sex you have after will be awesome.


My husband told me months ago now that he wanted to try crossdressing purely for sexual gratification and only when he was with me, I was completely fine with it infact I even went and bought him lingerie, clothes, toys etc We had a lot of fun with it and he always assured me that it wouldn't go any further that there was no need for him to do it at any other time, that it was to remain a secret, that no one must ever find out, it was all lies. Yesterday I came home with the kids to discover that there was a photo of him dressed up on the desk top of our computer which the girls could easily have accessed, it turns out this is the 2nd time he has done it in private and took picture of himself, which he has then used to sexually stimulate himself whilst looking at. Only this time he wasn't clever he hadn't deleted them. What more could I have done, I understood, I accepted on the terms which he laid out to me, I participated, I even bought a strap on and used it on him and yet it still wasn't enough he needed more. Our marriage is now in ruins, some would say it was when this all started, Im beginning to think they could be right. I honestly feel like such a fool, he had it all, dress up whenever he wanted when I was there, sex how he wanted and when he wanted all I asked for was honesty and for him to keep his promise that it would go no further and he let me down big time. So even when a wife/partner is understanding of it all, it can still go so horribly wrong, its clearly something that some men can't control no matter what they think, please be aware of that before entering into it like I did(despite all the research I did).


i would ask him about how he feels when he is dressed as a women, then if he gets turned on by it i would tell him that it bothers u but u should acept him the way he is only if u truely love him.hes not gay just think you to could play dressup together and have fun with it. donot ever let something like come between you and your marriage.


I am a cross-dresser myself, although I have managed to to control my urges and stopped dressing about 5 years ago. My relationship didn't work out, and in my opinion secret of a successful relationship is good communication. You must find way to talk to him about the problem. Sincerity and honesty on both parts are important to solve this problem. Don't let him confuse your trying to accept him with total acceptance. It is very difficult to stop cross dressing and it took me a while before I have managed to quit, although the urges sometimes are still very strong. Don't give up too soon if you really love him you can find solution to this problem.


Megan, First off he is NOT gay, nor does he want to be a woman. IF this is the first time you caught him and he doesn't have a habit of wanting to always do it, don't let it bother you. IF it does bother you then you need to let him know. However, don't be judgemental just because a guy does that doesn't mean he is gay or anything like that if that was the case guys who wear long heair and earings would be gay and we all know that isn't true or women who wear tatoos or short hair would be gay. I would be too bothered by it however, if it does bother you let him know but whatever you do. Don't tell him something bothers you and go right around and wear something a guy would wear like a shirt and tie or real short hair. One thing you DON'T want to do is hate him or leave him.


I told my gf about my crossdressing about 1 year and a half ago, we have been together for 10 years and we were both upset. I'm glad I told her because the secrets and the lies are the worst things. Also I have never had anyone to talk to about this compulsion. However, my g/f is not neccessarily happy about it which is her right. Partners, girlfriends wives should not be bullied into accepting this and carrying on as if nothing has happened or incorporating this into their relationships unless they want to. Likewise I strongly believe I am the same person as before telling her and that I shouldn't have to stop what I have been doing for the past 15+ years. I desperately want things to work out between us in the future but I fully understand and respect her decision if she decides that it over between us. At the end of the day we don't live in a tolerent and liberal society and people will judge other people by how they act and dress even if the week before you were having a beer with them and watching football.

Loving Girlfriend!

It makes me so sad to see some women showing such a lack of compassion for their partners, it's no wonder my boyfriend didn't want me to know about his cross-dressing! I've been with my man for just over 3 years and I only found out about his cross-dressing fetish about 5 months ago - he didn't choose to tell me, I found a receipt for women's underwear in his drawer and, as you can imagine, was devastated because I thought he was cheating on me and buying lingerie for another woman! He admitted to me when I confronted him that sometimes he likes to wear women's clothes and underwear... And he looked absolutely humiliated, to the point of tears. I hated seeing him so upset, and I immediately welcomed him into my arms and he told me all about it while we cuddled, I have to say it was one of the most intimate experiences of the relationship - knowing that I still loved him and accepted him for who he is meant that he was happy to open up and share with me, and everyone knows that good communication is the foundation of a good relationship! He even took out all of his boxes of women's clothes which had been stashed away under the bed and showed me them... and even gave me a couple of things which I liked! :) In the first two years or so we didn't have the BEST relationship... he wasn't the most faithful partner and I often felt like I was being taken for granted, but since I found out about his cross-dressing our relationship has changed completely. I love my man for the person he is and nothing can change that, if I let something like this stand in the way of that then I would be a fool. Knowing that together we have a "special secret" that no-one else in the world knows definately makes us a stronger couple, and he says it's nice to have someone to share the secret with. In terms of incorporating my boyfriend's fetish into our sex life, we took it fairly slow. After about a month I asked my partner while we were in bed whether he'd like to put on a pair of my underwear, he was nervous but I reassured him that I wouldn't be upset and we both really enjoyed it. The sex was so intimate - seeing him so turned-on by it was great and he definately made the effort to make me feel more appreciated if you know what I mean!;) And seeing him so turned-on by the whole thing made me pretty turned-on too!! Not long after this I helped him to dress up completely - I even did his make-up for him (which took about an HOUR including covering his eyebrows!!) which he'd never done before himself, and we had a great night! And we've got to the point now where he's decided that he likes me to dominate him and treat him like a sex-slave... which is a hell of a lot of fun and very liberating haha!! After hearing about his turmoils before I knew about his secret when he used to go into women's shops and spend up to an hour working up the courage to go and buy a pair of underwear, of course I wanted to help him! So now whenever I go shopping I buy a little something for him too :) And sometimes when we go shopping together we end up buying more things for him than we do for me! But I enjoy it - all of the clothes that I don't have the figure to wear or that I wouldn't dare wear but would love to, look great on him so it's nice to be able to buy them! All in all, I would say that finding out about my boyfriend's fetish has been the best thing to ever happen to our relationship - he says that he never truly understood or appreciated how compassionate and loving I was before I found out, and now in turn I trust him more than ever. And honestly, if you can learn to understand and even embrace your partner's fetish, you will have a loyal, appreciative and honest man who will be yours for keeps! :)


one thing David Your comments is very stupid and yes it very normal he is liking the feel of your clothes on his body there is web sites you can go on and look up and you should sit down with him and talk if he wants still do it its ok but support him if you can and maybe buy his own panties and bra's he likes. i used to be a doctor take it from me don't listen to these other comments ok and thank you


"WHAM".....oh my god thats bad!

nikki jane

hi megan there is nothing to worry about he is just expressing his female side, i know @ the moment your world as collasped in on you,but you now should sit down and talk about it. if you love this man then you will talk to each other it will be just as hard for him as what it as for you. You can get all the infomation you need from the gender trust web site hope things work out nikki jane


yes i cross dress i like to wear dresses bras panties lingerie heels i clean in miad outfit around the house now i ready to be someone friend


megan your husband is not gay,he expressing him self and your getting yourself all upset for nothing,he still love you and he not cheating on you,and you should comfort him on way to let him know that you know is to takew all of his male underware and replace them with women full briefs panties in pink, have fun with this dress him up and make him clean the whole house,as your maid and if he doesnot do it right, take his dress away the next day make him do the house work in his bra and panties, put your foot down and tell him not to wear your cloths and take him shopping and make him pick out his cloths, have fun with this.

mr nobody

"dancing to Wham!"!!! What a weirdo! you should ditch him just for that! :-))


so what If your husband/boyfreind cross dresses. let him show his softer side. enjoy the fact that you now have some one to go shopping with, who spends more than you will ever do.and who has a better wardrobe than you. I'm the wife of a cross dresser we have a lot of fun, going with a group of like minded people for week ends away. if you need help. join a transgender group how will help you both


I can't believe the individuals telling you not to freak out. This is not a simple gesture like I prefer red over black. It is not harmless and as someone married to a man that crossdresses, it has been most harmful. I no longer see him as a man or my lover. WE have not had intimate relations for 4 years. I cannot stand the thought of being touched by him. The visual of him in a dress and women's undergarments is like ice water. I feel deceived, his affinity for cross-dressing does not stop at the attire, he visits pornographic sites and chats it up with other cross dressers. I even found out that he had been on sites attempting to date cross dressers. I will not pretend to have any answers for you, but I will offer that is has been harmful, hurtful and detrimental to our marriage. I would die if my children or family ever learned of his behavior. Think about you and what you want. Don't settle and don't expect less from your marriage. It is not just what he wants.. there are 2 in a marriage. I would agree that you must confront him with what you observed.


To ease the stress on both of you, you must tell your husband everything. I am so fortunate that my wife accepts my desires. In fact now she positively encourages me! She does my make up for me and and I am now so confident in myself that I can "pass" as a woman we go out together on girlie shopping trips. She helps me select all my clothes, lingerie etc. and our love life couldn't ever be better. Please be tolerant of your husband; be gentle with him and slowly come to accept him as "her". If you can just work through it I can guarantee that the future could be absolutely fantastic. Trust me, I've been there, done that, read the book, seen the movie!


I'm a crossdresser and married for 6 years to my loving wife. I've been dressing up in womens clothes for a few years now and when i told my wife how I felt she freaked out. I explained to her that i've always had a want to wear womens' colthes and it helps me release from the stresses of the everyday life. Mens clothes designes are boring I love the color and feel. I hope everything works out for the best for you.

steven j

I like to dress in womens clothes manily underwear and basques just like the feel of them on my skin, i'm bi sexual my self, no body that at the moment. Steven 30 ygav


Megan, I'm a 40 year old man who has been crossdressing since I was a young child. I'm 100% heterosexual and have no desire to be with another man. There are times when I wished I was a woman, and there are times when I enjoy being a man. I've been married for eleven years and my wife knows all about my crossdressing. I told her about it shortly after we started dating and she is very accepting and supportive of it. Chance are, your husband is not gay. Surveys and studies have shown that more than 80% of men who crossdress are not gay. Most men who crossdress do not want to be a woman, they just enjoy wearing women's attire. Women have been wearing just about everything that men wear for about fifty years now, but nobody considers that to be crossdressing. Women enjoy wearing pants just like a lot of us men enjoy wearing skirts, dresses, hose, high heels, etc. There's a double standard going on here. Men have the right to wear anything they want, the same right women have been exercising for past fifty years. I'm a firm believer in men's fashion freedom. I often go out in public wearing dresses, skirt/blouse, pantyhose, and high heels in public as a man and not trying to pass as a woman. I do have very long hair and wear several earrings in each ear, but rarely wear makeup. Most men are much more discreet about their crossdressing and very few have the courage to do what I do. I do get some strange looks and snickers when I'm out dressed enfemme, but it's not nearly as hard as many people think. It's amazing how many people see me and don't seem to think much of it. When men wear women's clothes, it's not hurting anything or anybody, just like it's not hurting anything or anybody when women wear pants. Please try and be understanding of your husbands desire for wearing women's clothes. There's no harm in it at all and he' not any less of a man because of it. It's funny how so many people think that men who crossdress are gay, but nobody thinks that about women wearing pants and other articles of clothing once considered men's attire.


niceb all men wearing women dress in public it is very beutyfull


I am a 100% hetro guy, and i like to dress as a means of relaxation and escapism from the mundane day to day stresses of life, i have a few female friends who know i dress and they use it to there advantage and take me with them to clothes shop rather than their bf's because they know i have an appreciation for womens clothing and will give an honest opinion rather than a standard "guy" opinion. If you truly love this guy does it matter if he wears your little black dress?, Why not embrace his fetish, who knows it may bring on the beautiful child you desire. research shows that a large majority of cross dressers are indeed hetro sexual and only a small percentage are homo sexual. A female friend of mine actuallly used it to her advantage some time ago, her and i had a bet about the outcome of a football match, my team lost so i had to go and have my hair set on rollers in a hair salon fully dressed and full make up.


Don't worry just enjoy it. I'm a crossdresser and always have been. My girlfriend and now my wife accepts this and even now encourages me to dress up. We have started going out dressed together but she says I'm 100% convincing as a girl until I speak. Enjoy life if it's not your cup of tea move on as life is to short. Best of luck x


i live with my girlfriend and love to dress in girls clothes we even go shopping together.i'm not gay and don't want to be a woman i just love the clothes and have a macho job and lifestyle and love to escape from that.embrace it and have fun it's the only boyfriend you'll have that likes shopping and girlie nights in painting nails etc use it to your advantage


Hi, I can understand that this is difficult to deal with, and it's up to you and him to work out whether you can get through it. It seems unless you actually do tell him what you saw, you'll just go on wondering and that will hurt the relationship more than the things you might have no reason to worry about. First, it certainly doesn't automatically mean he's gay or that he wants to be a woman. There are very big differences. I am gay, and I know there are some gay men who like to dress in clothes because they want to pass as a woman, or because they like 'drag', which is as far removed from real women as it's possible to get usually. There are those who go out dressed as woman (gay and straight) and those who are or feel transgendered (i.e. born into the wrong body). Some of the latter opt for hormones and/or surgery. But simply liking to dress in women's clothes is different, but it's important to know why without pressuring him. Some people like leather, some people like piercings - not for everyone, but not a hanging offence. It may be nothing sexual at all, just a liking for the way he feels in the clothes. There are plenty out there who have managed to live as a completely straight couple with the man continuing his fetish for the clothes, even as another persona. It takes all sorts to make up a world. And a few decades ago women would have been looked down on for wearing trousers! Be honest about your feeling, but don't back away in horror. It's obviously part of him, which he may or may not be willing to give up and which may or may not get in the way of your relationship. It will take some adjustment obviously, but until you know more, don't make any rash decisions.


Hey don't freak out, do the smart thing and research this there are many sites on the web just be careful many of them are about sex and not what your looking for. I'm a life long cross dresser and was up front with my wife from day one. She slowly excepted it and we have no secrets. We enjoy this and she has come to enjoy the fem side of me. I will never go out in public or have SRS but one thing I can say we have learned to be open and honest with each other. Hey must work been 15 years and raised two kids together.

marc lason

although this behavior may not seem normal, what he is doing is probably harmless. he has a fetish for women's clothing. hes probably afraid to share with you because he would know your reaction. this does NOT mean he is gay or wants to be a woman. i mean maybe he does, but usually in this case it's just a simple fetish. im sure he still loves you all the same. i almost guarantee he is a normal straight man.


Read what that guy has to say, EVERYTHING he wrote, and you WILL calm down. And, something I just read a few minutes ago,.....83% of all men have tried on womens clothes!


tell me if you figure it out please!!!!!! the only reason i came onto this sight is becasue i wanted to figure out what the hell i should do with my life!! i am engaged to what i thought was the best person i have ever meant and then i got three e mails from him sisters ex boyfriend telling me everything! he used to steal his sisters underwear...and was caught sneaking in the house with her clothes on! i freaked...i went home and told him about the e mails! he shut down, first lied and said he does not remember that and then finally confessed that it happened when he was 12-13. ok so i believed him and told him i still love him and we could work through it. he told me he was too embarrassed and couldnt look at me. his sister called me after that wondering why i was mad?!?!?!?!!? she talked to him and we finally could have a conversation without the awkwardness! ok so i thought it was all done....then i got curious and looked at his e mail...the ex boyfriend of his sister had e mailed him before i even knew anything telling him he was going to tell me. all my fiance could say was that he can delete the messages before i see. well he obvioulsy didnt see them before me!!!! the e mails also said details about what he used to do with men!! so i think he lied to me! as you can tell i am freaking out....i dont know what to do!! the only person that knows is my mom and she does not have any advice!!! is he really in love with me?? is he really wanting the future that he says he wants?? :( it is the worst thing to happen and i sincerely hope your situation turns out ok! I KNOW how hard it is!!

Miss SUdha

To me being feminine is the best thing in the world but most genetic women are deprived of this quality.Most women dont even wax their body.No one has the right to interfere.We transgenders are much better looking and more feminine than most genetic women.Those women who object are jealous and sex hungry as they need men for their dirty sexual desires.


Forgive me if this sounds harsh, but it doesn't sound like your husband is doing anything so wrong that you "can't bear to look at him." You didn't catch him making love to someone else or doing drugs; he didn't hit you. I don't understand why this is such a big deal. As women, I think we have all wanted to be comfortable on a cold day and put on our men's flannel shirt or cinched up his sweatpants around our waists and thought how comfortable we felt. In our society it is considered okay for a woman to do such things, but if men do it they're considered weird. It doesn't mean he's any less heterosexual. In fact, the vast percentage of men who like to wear women's clothes are heterosexual. I know you were shocked. It was an embarrassing situation for both of you to find him like that unawares. What would bother me more than anything is that he didn't feel he could talk to you about this. I also think you should talk to him about it in a calm, caring manner. He's still the man you fell in love with. Tell him that you opened the door one day and saw him in women's clothes and panicked, but now you'd like to talk about it. I'm sure he will and you'll probably both feel better. Please don't judge this man for doing something so innocent. Once again, society tries to brainwash us into thinking some things are "wrong"... but what exactly has he done wrong? He's not hurting anyone. I'm almost positive he's not gay (do your research.) To judge him harshly for something like this is ridiculous.


in responce to watching a moive. i highly recomend watching tu wan foo (not sure if i spelt it right) but its a funny film with wesley snipes patric swazey and another acotor, they are cross dressers. you can bring it up watching something like that. least you wont look like your hinting that you know.

eileen power

I feel sorry for the man who through no falt of his just the way he was born feel the need to cross- dress......but how can any straight woman have anything to do with him. She is the strange one because no ordinary woman want anything other than a man to be a man unless she is a bit strange herself.


I found out my husband was a cross-dressser shortly after we married. I had all the same fears as have been mentioned, was he gay? would he want to become a woman? was he more interested in dressing up than seeing me dressed up sexy? We have been married 8 years and it has probably taken me just under that to accept and love him for how he is with the dressing up bit - I like it that it turns him on even if it does nothing for me. I think love conquers all, if you love someone somehow you'll work it out and find a way through. Don't worry too much - there is so much worse anyway! We laugh about it at times now and I buy him things too - he likes that and I like that he likes it.


You're right, dancing to Wham is totally unforgiveable! Seriously if you talk to him in a sensible way and give him the chance to explain why he feels the need to do what he does then you will usually find its symptomatic of something else, but until you ask you won't know.


Hi - im mid 30's male macho, alpha male type, 110% straight, married and been with my wife since i was a teenager also now have 2 kids and a very responsible but stressful job.......and i crossdress - i've crossdressed since i was young and the reason was i fancied women when i was younger and being young wasnt going to pull a woman who wore stockings lingerie etc so tried things on myself - you know what young men are like - anyway moving on mid 30s now and although i stopped crossdressing during 'courting' my now wife shes hard work to get her to wear sexy lingerie for "fun" so i found myself trying things on compensating - i also found that dressing was relaxing - when i do find time to dress up i do dress up fully with makeup and a wig and dress etc - i call it escapism from my macho male lifestyle which is quite stressful and "somehow" crossdressing helps me unwind - i decided to tell my wife about crossdressing and its the hardest thing ive ever had to do - she cried - asked was i gay - now that upset me as under the frock im an alpha male type - asked did i want a sex change - um no how the hell would i be albe to continue to play rugby and football and was it her fault - um no ive crossdressed in some form since i was about 5 - we talked and agreed its just something i do she set a rule if i have to do it i can only do it when home alone - hard to find time but one step at a time - i understand you are freaked out, scared and worried and have all sorts of things going on in your head - best thing to do is talk to him about it - it will also scare hell out of him - he'll feel ashamed and humiliated and in turn worried - if you both love eachother its so easy to get through this - its only clothes "image" even and societys views controlled by the media - there are some good support sites about with info from crossdressers and their wives - if you can see my email address get in touch im sure i can help.....ive chatted to lots of wives of crossdressers and been thanked for advice - yet im terrible at talking to my own wife about my own crossdressing - good luck


I am 41.I have been crossdressing since the age of 12.I am married.I find the fit and feel of womens underwear and especially swimwear very relaxing and comfortable.I have pointed out to my wife that up until 30 years ago it was only men who wore jeans,trousers,and boots.Who is crossdressing now? I like to wear swimwear all day and night.Sometimes I have my swimwear on when we make love and it is amazing how much harder I get and stay longer much to my wife's enjoyment.To all the women out there who find themselves with a crossdresser -enjoy your man because under the underwear he's still a man.


This exact thing just happened to me...we have been married 30 years, have 4 daughters...I have had the same things happen, makeup moved clothes crinkles, I found a phone with video of him in a huge stuffed bra and a tight shirt. It made me sick to my stomach. he is a good provider to us but i dont think I can live knowing about this, i cant look at him let alone touch me in a sexual way...I may have to leave him...


Megan There is nothing shameful in your husband, and you are missing out on a huge part of his personality. Feeling what it is like to wear what you wear, to enjoy something so much lovelier than the same old shirt and jeans, he will appreciate how you want to be held and touched - and where. And remember, it feels just the same to him: don't you love the feel of a floating dress around you, of silky panties, or a satin nightie, or the lace of a slip around your legs? It feels the same to him, so why shouldn't he enjoy what you enjoy? It really brings out the sensitivity and sensuousness in a man. Let the real person in your husband out, buy him something sensuous and pretty in a colour he likes, stand back and look at him and allow yourself to appreciate the man you love being like he wants to be. He will make love wonderfully and deeply to you when you allow his feminine feelings to be free. You will get used to what he looks like, but start by closing your eyes and appreciating him under your hands and against your body, and how he responds. And tell him that what you've bought with him looks pretty or gorgeous (even if it looks odd to you to begin with, on him). This is love, not artificial prudish norms about what we're supposed to do. So love him and welcome all the rest of what you never knew about your lover into your life together. It really will be worth it, but talk honestly about it, listen and above all love the person. I wear lovely pretty things (underwear and nighties) and though we both shared the prettiest of panties all our married life, it took nearly 30 years to find the rest of what we really needed. And now we have a wonderful love life. My best wishes, Megan.


I have been cross dressing all my life, yesterday I went to the Veteran's for clothing assistance dressed in womens clothes. I got womens clothing thanks to Uncle Sam. It felt so liberating going into the Veterans office completely dressed in female clothing


most of these comments are awful. you marry someone for better or worse. i am a 27year old man who has been with my loving wife since junior year of high school. i recently expressed my until now unfulfilled need to occasionally feed my feminine side. I am one hundred percent straight but there is that small part of me that feels the need to be soft and for lack of a better way of saying it feels like maybe somewhere in me is a little bit of a girl. My wife took me shopping and helped me pick things out. this isn't an everyday thing but just every now and then that i feel like dressing up. use it as a way to become closer to your man it can be an amazing way to spice up your love life. Women can be dominant and dress like a man why can't an otherwise manly man be soft and girly every once in a while. I know for me it wasn't some "sick" choice it was a deep need in my heart. I guess i am just lucky to have a woman who love and accepts me enough to let me be the girl i feel inside every once in a while.


I got a surprise when a man,dressedas a woman, answered a door to me at a house I called at as a nurse fairly often.I had known the family for some years and he was a father,had a loving family relationship with his wife and children,was masculine in the sense of bodybuilding and problem that day was the terrible dress sense!his loving wife helped him and his clothes improved-he was one of several men I have met who just like womens clothes especially the feel of them.Personal choice I think-I understand a wife being worried but is it because she is worried about being lied to?hope it works out-at least he is interested in cleanliness and won't smell like a sweaty dustbin!


Megan, I'm so sorry for you. What an awful shock, so many things thrown into doubt. I'm a male who enjoys wearing womans clothing. I'm not and never will be, gay. I dont wear make up, wigs or heels, in short, I'm not trying to look like a woman. My reason always was, I just really enjoyed the feeling of the clothing. I am married and my wife, after finding out about my 'dressing', was as appalled as you sound to be. I felt terrible that i had changed all her perseptions / hopes for us etc. Talk to him, tell him your feelings / fears. If you cannot accept this in your life (and I 100% understand what your going through and, I sound hipocritical here) I dont think I could in the circumstances you describe. I stopped after upsetting my wife but I have to admitt to still having a desire to try clothing on. We now talk openly about my/her feelings and I must admit, I feel closer to her and realise how selfish |I was being. I do hope you can talk it through with each other but, if you decide to stay together, rest assured his desire/it wont go away. I wish you all the best in your thoughts and desisions. Stefan


My husband/boyfriend (We're not technically married, but have been engaged for the last 2 years and have a beautiful 6m. baby girl!) found out 2 days ago that he feels more comfortable in women's clothing, and, with an almost un-human open-mindedness that I often pride myself in, I told him that I was fine with it. It if made him feel better, then have at it! And I thought it would be okay. Well, that idea went out the window yesterday when we went shopping with our Christmas money. We went our seperate ways to shop, and when he came to find me, he had fishnet stockings in his hand. Whatever, I said, that's fine. But it all went to hell when I was shopping for a good, sexy, push-up bra (Something you just have to have after your boobs turn to jello when breastfeeding!) and he joined in the fun! He found himself a pretty blue polka-dot bra, and a pack of boyshort panties. He also bought himself a skirt (Which I love!) and balloons to simulate, well, y'know. Well, I felt my stomach twist and turn as the masculine image of my husband was warped into something seeming to containing more estrogen then I wanted to deal with. I became sullen, and he still doesn't know why. I just don't know how to tell him that I'm as okay with his cross-dressing as I thought I was. It's not because I'm repulsed by it, by any means. It's simply that it affects that masculine comfort that I think all women need. I still love him so much it hurts, and I don't want him to feel like I don't accept him, because I do. I'm just not as comfortable with it as I thought I was. I just want him to be happy, because it's been on that quest his entire life. It does swell my heart to see him happy with the way he looks, but it also ironically squeezes it in a death grip to look at him dressed as a women. I don't want to leave him for the sake of our daughter, nor to make him feel worse about it. I also have no qualms about raising my daughter this way. We weren't necessary your ordinary couple before.


When i first learned of my boyfriends add likes, i was to say the least very disapointed. I was scared because it was so different for me. But the more i thought about it the more i want him to be happy, and if that means helping him with his makeup every once in awhile then so be it. He is well aware that this is somthing that im doing entirly for him and that it does not by any means turn me on..but he is just beside himself that one im excepting him and two that he gets to share something with me thats important to him. If you love him try and except the change. Talk to him about it. Your not wrong for feeling the way you do. I did and still do, But it makes me happy to see him so happy to be able to talk to me about this. I really hope that you havnt already left him without speaking to him. I wish you the best of luck.


I am a crossdresser,married for 36yrs. She knew 2yrs before we were married. We have 2 adult kids. I am straight. My first priority is my family, then my dressing. I do go out in public with my family. I have been dressing since i was 10yrs old. You should talk with him. Let him tell you his feelings. If you can, let him dress in private. 98% of crossdressers are straight who wants a woman and afamily in there lives. He should accept your feelings, but no one can change the way he feels about dressing-up. Try to understand his desire to dress,we cannot change.


to megan i know its a shock for females to find out there man dresses up in girly clothes you dont need to split up just help him dress and make him wear make up to in private in your own house you could still have a great relasonship i wish i could find a understanding female who understood about dressing up in girly clothes we men feel great inside dressed as a girl sometimes take care all regards steve


wow how shallow, clearly someone that has never spared a thought for anyone but herself, sickening. Its hard to believe that such a hateful person exists. Do you wear pants? a tie? if so... would you expect your husband to abandon you in tears and then have the lack of morals to say that he is the one suffering? Grow up. Unbelievable.

Jane Simmons

I'm not surprised by the blatant trans/homophobia going on here, but make absolutely no mistake, the lot of you who say that you're "sick" over your man crossdressing-- the lot of you are *homophobes*, and it is *entirely* your conditioning that causes suicides in transgendered people. So keep it up, you selfish, ignorant children.


This is a new age. A time of acceptance and freedom. If you can't accept the fact that you're husband dresses in women's clothing - leave him. Don't make him feel ashamed for what he feels is right. It's not repulsive or disturbing... it's just clothes. I've worn my boyfriends shirts, briefs, pants, and socks before so why can't a boy wear our clothes? The only reason that it's never been done in the past or is normally hidden is due to the fact it wasn't accepted and people were literally killed or exiled for something like that. This isn't that time anymore. Let him be who he is. The reason he is doing this is because it's what makes him feels good inside. Making him hide it or making him feel guilty for something that he feels is right is selfish on YOUR part not his. It's understandable that he probably should have said something before you were married, but maybe he felt you were the woman that could handle something like that since you're supposed to LOVE each other. It's not him being selfish it's you for the fact that you can't let him be himself because it's too hard on you. Sorry, but I think you guys are ridiculous if you think your husbands are the one being selfish. Listen to yourselves. It's understandable that it's new and different and something you probably didn't sign up for. And if that's the case and you can't accept it leave him.


I can totally relate. I have been with my husband for 3.5 years, married for 2.5 years. He told me his 'secret' about 5 months ago and since then I really don't know what do to with myself. He wanted me to join in - I can't, the thought of it makes me feel sick. I wish I could be more accepting but he is my husband, I married to be with a man, not a half breed who is not sure. He tells me its lighthearted nothing serious but I think 'where will it end'. Its a weight off his mind I am sure but I think it is also selfish as our marriage will never be the same. My feelings of hatred, confusion, repulsion and the fact I feel de-feminised has never entered his selfish head. I do love him and I really wish I could accept it but I can't and its killing me. I either put up and shut up or get divorced. Neither is a nice option. I also have no-one I can talk to about it as everyone I know would be horrified and ridicule him. I too wish I had known before we got married as then I would have been entering into the marriage with my eyes wide open. He has started watching transsexual porn now and he never wants to have sex with me, even though he can be affectionate towards me. Does this mean he is gay? I don't know. He says not but he has lied about other things so why not that. Its a living hell and I really don't know what to do anymore.


My husband has been miserable for monthis, and I couldn't figure out why. I'm not into lingerie, apparently his is... for himself. We almost filed for divorce, then cross dressing cam out as one of his needs not being met. We have a very active sex life, so I have to say, his confession came as a shock, but also as a relief... It wasn't me... It was a desire he needed which was not being met. I'm going tomorrow to get him some Victoria Secrets stuff... I plan so see him in them too... I love him... I want him to be happy. I don't want to be forced into dressing a certain way... I want him to have some freedom to be himself. Good Lord, if it will just make him feel better, that's a start... Ladies, don't be ashamed. If you love you man embrase him.... If you are not sure, let him go for a while.... till you at least know what to do. Take care everyone and Happy Thanksgiving!


I just told my wife of 20 years that wearing panties makes me happy. Throughout the courde of our marrage I have been in panties and lingerie in front of her but I dont think she understood what it meant to me. Like others have said, I enjoy being a man but I also like dressing in womens clothes. While I wish it was more I have agreed to a dont ask dont tell policy in my household.....she doesnt want to be involved. She told me that had she known, she probably wouldnt have married me. I told her I probably didnt know back then. She also said I did myself a disservice because maybe I could have found somebody more accepting, she is probably right about that also. I kind of thought it would be liberating to tell her, and maybe it will be in a little while. I do believe that I am not hurting anyone by enjoying myself in womens clothes, by myself, in the privacy of my home. I am looking forward to shopping for myself, and enjoying womens clothes by myself but it would be nice to have someone to share this with those I love. I told her and myself that it is part of what makes me, well me.

Nik Gemmell

Girls girls girls what is the problem here - do you think we guys would freak out if you were wearing our suits or y-fronts - I love dressing in my girlfriends lingerie - its a sexual thing. What would you prefer if he was doing this or cheating on you with someone else honestly when i read stories like this i laugh and laugh you women seem to think its perverse - what is the difference between a skirt and a kilt, a blouse and a shirt there is very little difference so what is the big problem you really need to get your priorities sorted. My advice is to join in and wear his y-fronts or shirts etc get together and make him feel ok about it as i bet he felt ok about it now he probably feels ashamed and only because you have made him feel this way its totally out of order. Women have a habit of blowing even the slightest thing out of all proportion thats why we would like you to be more like guys - we dont make a big thing out of these things - we have a laugh - all my mates know i wear my girls underwear and 99% agree it is a bit of a turn-on - So get turned on or you will eventually turn your man off! Women nag men moan but its the nagging and constant criticising that eventually pushes a man to go for another woman. If you cant be best friends with your partner and accept his foibles its time to get out of the relationship and stop messing each other about! So there!!!!!!!


I need someone to help me, because I'm FREAKING OUT HERE!!! I've been married to my husband for 9 years, and been together for 14. As I'm writing this so many things are popping in my head LIKE I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE SIGNS, but didn't because I love him... For me, it started with him simply having women's clothes. Now, he hardly has men's clothing!!! The funny thing is dumb me, I thought he was actually getting the clothing for me LOL! NOT! After my pregnancies (we have 3 beautiful children) I do not wear the same sizes as he does... Our whole walk-in closet is full of his women's clothes. I tried talking to him, and all he says is that he doesn't know why he does it. The thing is that I guess I didn't worry about it too much, because it was done in our home, but now my oldest son is noticing AND THAT ISN'T ACCEPTABLE TO ME. I've told him many times that it was a turn off, but I guess he doesn't care. I kind of told him to sell his size ten women's shoes on ebay (oh! He had originally told me that he was buying them to resell them at a higher price on ebay no, no it wasn't for him. So YES, you are absolutely right I'm the dumbest person in the world. I freakin' HATE myself right now.), so he took pictures obviously with the "intent" of posting & selling them on ebay, well he also (he was already dressed in the girly clothes, It BOTHERS ME SO MUCH THAT HE DOES THAT IN FRONT OF OUR KIDS) took pictures of himself in makeup, earrings, and all... When I saw the pictures tonight after my kids were put to bed I nearly vomitted. I feel sick. I can hardly sleep, I don't know what to do, what's best for my children??? It's not like I don't love him, just not that part of him. Should I divorce him? I'm going nuts here... Why me? I've NEVER had it easy, and AGAIN I CAN'T GET A FREAKIN' BREAK! I wouldn't deprive him of his children, but NO, I don't think I can accept this not with three kids 7, 5 & 1 year old. Seriously, if I had had a crystal ball and had seen this I don't think that I would have married him or had a family with him. The sick part is that is who he is right? So if I ask him to stop well he might become an asshole like someone said, and you can't just NOT be yourself... BUT IT STILL AIN'T FAIR TO ME OR THE KIDS, because we'd be living a lie as well, and the situation embarrasses me and ANGERS ME. I don't want to live this life.


Hi,I am a mature age CD dressing for over 40 yrs, My wife knows I dress and wishes not to be involved. From my experiances wives and girl friends have a great deal of accepting CD, the ones that can usually become very involved and enjoy life. Women wear pants, cut their hair short,wear singlets,and now shorts are in fashion.they wear flat shoes and work boots,they wear girles to improve there figure, and males and society do not even blink. yet when a male puts on a skirt all hell breaks loose and he is instantly labeled a transgender. From the female perspective your reaction is normal, try buying a pair of work pants and a shirt (male version)and with out makeup ask you husband what he thinks,he is still the same person he always has been. My perfect world would be one of total unisex where one could wear what ever they desired with out social discrimination.


Something similar just happened to me yesterday but my fiance won't talk about it or even come home! I don't know what to think! I'm the one going crazy and he just says he won't talk about it. He won't talk on the phone even to me only text and chose to sleep in his truck last night. I was looking through some luggage for an overnight bag for my son. I opened a bag and saw some lace and embroidery that I knew weren't mine and weren't in there before. I quickly pushed them aside so my 19 year old didn't see them and pretended that bag wouldn't work for him. My heart was pounding!!! I quickly went back and looked and found a skirt and 2 pair of panties. They were not clean and I quickly assumed they were another woman's. (Although he had admitted at one point in his life he did wear women's dresses in his teens.) I have found a bra tag within the past 2 months in his back pack and he played dumb although that hasn't turned up. When I asked him on the phone he said they were his, I said why are they dirty he said he hadn't had a chance to wash them. What am I supposed to do? He said he is too humiliated to come home. Do I believe they are his or nother woman's? If he won' even come home to discuss this what am I supposed to do? I'm dying inside. He is a big tough guy on the outside. 1 pair is lacy and 1 pair is a pastel ruffly kind of g string. The skirt is blue with eyelet along the bottom. Please someone help me!


I understand how you must feel but if you can bring yourself to talk to him i am sure you will be able to help him or at least understand why he feels he has to dress up on his own and is perhaps unsure how you will react if he told you. I had the same dilemma with my current partner she finds it very difficult to understand my need to wear womens clothes she has started to allow me to wear her clothes and she has now even allowed me to buy my own she even now helps me choose what to get and what size i will need to get i have a very good assortment and my selection is ever growing she still has her moments where she will call me all sorts of names but i think she has come to the conclusion that at least i am doing it in front of her instead of behind her back which i would not be comfortable doing that i would rather be upfront with her and take the flack now and again so if you can bring yourself to talk to your husband and find out why he feels he does this and why he has never told you you might be able to work thigs out. As you posted this some time ago would be good to get update from you to see if you have moved things along?

bob thomas

My step son came back from the city and we picked him up at the station. He was wearing a skirt. I was in shock and got real depressed. Well i'm the man of the house, but i desire to wear womens cloths also. We'll call that the most blaint example of double standard i've ever had. I am totally straight, but i tried sex with men thinking it would fulfill this woman thing. It did nothing except make me confused. I never allowed myself to be satisified, but made a point to satisiy the man. I can guess why, I'm not gay, but at least the experiences helped me understand the sepration of wanting to expand my self to different areas of my self and sexual desire. I hope it works out for you. No one should be forced ever to accept something they find unacceptable. I just hope my wife will be ok if and when i tell her.


I learned my long-time boyfriend has been dressing as a woman and going to a drag club and performing there. He is 100% heterosexual. He said he loves doing this, and has no interest in becoming more feminine or changing over to a woman. He has been doing this once or twice weekly. I have been crying non stop for a few months now. Although I accept all sexuality and lifestyles in others, it is different when it is the man you love romantically. He repeatedly told me he does not have gender issues, and I've asked about 100 times. Becomes he is a singer and musician, he says this is just another outlet for it, and it's a lot of fun. Why can't I believe this? Like someone else here said, I do not think I can be intimate with him ever again. Unfortunately, a photo made it to me through an email of him in the clothes, with lipstick on, eyeshadow, the wig, skirt, the whole bit. I got physically sick and vomited. I am not sure why it is hitting me like this, but I guess the end of my dream, my love and hope for the future is gone. I can not trust that he is not having gender issues, and I am not going to stand by and watch him become more feminine, as time goes on. A "normal" guy would want to spend a weekend night with his girl and not doing this sort of thing. Anyone else in deep pain over this?


hello to all who read this im a 40 year old male crossdresser ben dressing since i was a kid along with a few others on here i agree he should have told you befor he married you but i will tell you its one of the hardest things to tell some one that you love that you have this secret i am going to tell you some about me iv been married for 18 years we have a great life together i did tell her after a year of dating an let her make her mind up weather she wanted me in her life an after about a couple of the hardest weeks of my life she did choose she loved me to much to make that a reason to live me and i am great full every day that she stayed with me because i love her to death i do want to let you know i have never cheated on her i am not gay in fact if you were to ever meet me you would never guess that i could ever be a crossdresser im a the head of one of the biggest biker clubs in the world im coverd i tattos an run a million dollar company i agree as one of the others said at first i just liked the feel of womens clothes when i was a kid but for me know its more of a release i make i have to make alot of high preassure decisions at work an in my club an in life its self an some times an pleas people do not take this the wrong way its nice to feel like a women an to let my wife take over an take charge an let all my problems lie for a bit as im in a differnt world for a bit an if you were to ask my wife she will tell you it makes me less of a selfish lover in bed when im all dressed up an i do drees in full hair make up the whole nine yards when we make love she says im all about her needs an she will an so tell you it makes me a less rough an tough guy in life an in the bed so i think you should tell you husband that you know an saw him but dont try an belittle him cause it might make him turn in to an ass hole because he will be embarced but if you are willing to except it it might turn into the best thing in your life also just because he dose this dose no have to mean he will not still be a manley man an dose not have to mean hes gay but you will need to talk to hime to find all that out i hope i have helped you out in some way an you can always e-mail me if you have an other questions on this subject


I have been with my boyfriend for just under a month and he has admitted that he loves dressing in womans clothes. I cant say it does anything for me but as far as I am concerned there is no harm. I wouldnt be happy if he wanted to go out dressed like it but for around the house its fine. Why should your feelings change over something so minor. You love the person for the person they are not for what they wear.

i'm fasty

well Miss he should been up front with you at first off of dateing now there is no trust he is your comptishion and if you don"t like woman you will hate him cross dressing and you will never take him back as a full time man in your life i been there seen that and done this so i know what the out come is it is all no good SORRY!


I can't believe how immature some of the girls are on here. So it is ok for you to wear boy things, but it is not ok for boys to wear girl things??? Clue me in! Selfish and threatened is the words! So dress him in his favorite lace and enjoy!


I can relate. I found a stash of women's thong panties, along with a nightie,padded bra, women's boy shorts and women's jeans. We have been married 18 years and I am in shock. I immediately thought he was having an affair. This is not the case. He says he wears them when he masturbates and he planned on throwing them away because he no longer became aroused by them. He said he has been doing this for three years. He actually went out and purchased these clothes, not just take mine out of the drawer(I have at least 30 pair), and believe me, I never would of known. He says he thinks of me in the panties and that's why he did it. He says he is not gay. I don't know what to think. I can see the pantie thing, but dressing in women's jeans? Sorry I am not much help...I know how you feel.What does everyone think?Please advise. Thank-you.


Recently it came to my thoughts that why does women have the right to dress as the please, female-wise, male-waise, sexy-wise, ... you name it, and it is simply accepted. One may claim it suits her well, not that well, awful but nobody says it unacceptable. It just her own business. That started when I was a kid, in the 60's, where brave [real] hot women came out in England with the so-called hot-pants. And they were spanked on their behinds, and sowhat?! People were shocked, men, women, young and old, but at the end of the day it became accepted. This did not stop, and women that are brave, went further on, and have not stopped. Now what about men? SHould they not straight up and do what they in fact like and enjoy, feel confortable, sexy, fulfill there deepest wishes. Does this make them gay, fags, weak, stupid, less men? Why should they hide themselves and do these"awful" things hidden, private and suffer [and I mean really suffer] the consequences at home, public and their work for the simple fact that this is a tabu !! Hey, we are in the 21st century? hasn't the world changed drastically (for the better and for the worse? ... Then why should men continue using "gray suits" or use plain jeans with there pants showing of and not be allowed to use women "classified" wardrobe? Or they less men? I think what should count is whether we, men and women, are content with ourselves, friendly with other, counting more what is "inside" us and not what "outside" us. Why do we have to continue judgubd the others by their looks, instead of by being themselves.

Dawn Green

both men and women should be honest.there is nothing worse then being betrayed by the person you love. I am broad minded but I detest liars If you believe that your partner loves you then trust them with the truth if it doesn't work out then they were not meant for you . living a life of deceit is NOT the way forward once the trust has gone it is gone forever Megan ....... strangely I think I know you (or your mum)

Kelly Pow

do you think the guy should be dressed fully like a female 24/7 for putting on the clothing in the first place

Rahul Khan

Thanks so much for this. This is awesome post I ever seen on internet. This is rare to find that&#8217s why difficult to understand. Anyway, you are definitely someone that has something to say that people need to hear. Keep up the good work. Keep on inspiring the people. For more information regards: Online Childrens Boutique

it is what it is

I dont think there is anything wrong with it I just LOVE the thrill and feeling I get wearing stockings or pantyhose. Its undescrible. I had put my wifes on downstairs last night and then went up stairs and removed them she has no idea that I do it but im so turned on by it that I litterly explode in her I love her to pieces and she loves me Im planning on telling her about it cause I cant keep secrets from her. Im happy anytime I can touch my femmine side. I relish the thought of being submissive to her. She should be happy when she finds out she can rule the roost you should consider yourself lucky


If you go out to a town pub tonight 1 in 4 of the men you meet could be gay! if you go to a meeting of Crossdresses/Transvestites 1 in 7 of the men there could be gay ! If you hate the idea of your man turning out to be gay you would be safer attending a TV / CD event. As for all of you TV / CD's tell your intended wife BEFORE you marry of your hobby. that goes for Golf/Football/Nights out with the Lads/ train spotting/Etc. Girls look for the positives ! he wont complain how long you take to get ready. Get one your own size and Double your wardrobe, they will watch a girly movie with you and share your tissues. TV/CD can be the most gentalist careing good fun partner you could ask for. Unto yourself be true.


@sheila037 heres a book YOU can read. its called bite me. women have been crossdressing since they stopped wearing dresses :) oops i guess thats different,,women can do whatever they want,,if only it where a perfect world!!


i dont see a problem,,i wear womens jeans,,and chicks think im hottt!!! and in not gay


To be very honest after reading the letter i was amazed, as i have been dressing in Lingerie for years, and my wife evens buy's it for me, bra's, panties, camisoles, suspenders and stockings, as well as nightdress and bady dolls. This is so i don't wear her's, and we both enjoy the dressing and feminisation of me, i love the feeling of the soft lingerie next to my skin, which is shaved on a regular basis, and our love making is wonderful! even if my panties and babydoll gets wet from the exercise!


I dress up in womens clothing every day. Im straight. I love women. I love vagina! But I get turned on in a different way and feel sexy in women's clothing. I dont go in public. I may wear some panties under reg clothing but its only to have that sexy secret and to push the limit. See how he feels and communicate. I also feel closer to girls when I do this even though I may spend the weekend in bed with my lover. See if he feels similar.

live and let live

I think you need to think about your husband as well as yourself, Why does he feel the need to hide it from you? Probably because of the reason you have stated on her, instead of posting it on here go talk to him, I know exactly how he feels because I did the same thing to my ex wife, she knew nothing of my extra marital activities and I so wanted to tell her, but she sort of knew but not for definite, she did question me a few times and I denied it, because she said my marriage would be over if she found out I was dressing up. I have now met someone else and told her from the start and she never had a problem with it asking only one question "are you gay"? I said no and that was it, we enjoy shopping for sexy things and we have a fantastic sex life, I do on occasions sit around the house with sexy underwear on without fear of anything now, you wouldn't believe the relief i feel from her knowing and approving. We have an agreement that I DONT do it when we have guests, but i do wear them we we go for a meal it excites her knowing that i have them on. encourage your man and enjoy it, its not strange or immoral and it makes him feel good and gives him a sexy feeling, if he knows you know then you can both enjoy it, but do have boundaries. I hope you do let him exercise his fantasy you are so missing out on a great experience, if its not your thing tell him he can only do it when your our but don't be surprised if you catch him now and again. We get married this year and she has asked me to wear white sexy undies, and of course i,lll oblique ..Understand his needs too and you will be fine.




You poor thing, it's no wonder you felt sick when discovering your husbands secret - dancing to Wham even in secret is inexcusable.


davyt is right, as he previously stated, you married the man yu loved, and no this appears, the thing is is you are not use to it, and it bothers you, and since your marriage he is the same guy, tell me what are some of the things you like to do that are different from other people, now look at his situation, this is the boat he is in, im not saying to incourage it, but dont lock him out it will only hurt you, your kids, him, and any other family you may have. it is pretty common among men


truthfully, look at it this way, a main male gene is curiosity, now male figures don generally like being told they cant do something and when it comes to wearing female clothing, some men wonder what it would be like, to a male it isnt fair to not be able to wear the clothing a female can, when a female can wear the clothes a male can wear, it is up to you what you do, but remember you will have a very good shopping buddy and it is only natural for someone to be curious, even women are. try seeing it from his point of view


well firstly, are they his size, if not oh dear Dx


hooray sense at last well done


do you wear pants/trousers/jeans, well gat a grip its you who is the crossdresser here, if you better half wants to feel soft material for a change ,so what!! I can almost guarantee he is not gay, think about it how do you feel when you have just waxed or shaved your legs an pull on hose, it feels great doesnt it, well so it does for him also, now you are shareing the same feelings and becoming one, this becomes a great partnership as you both know the feelings you are getting, just go with it you might be surprised. hugs x


Wow, I am shocked by the responses. There is nothing wrong with being shocked and appalled at finding out your husband dresses like a woman. If he had told you before you got into a serious relationship that would be one thing, but he has been living a lie. Don't be "ashamed" if you're not comfortable with it or bluntly don't want to be in a marriage with a man who dresses like a woman. There is no way I could ever look at my husband or boyfriend the same again if I had caught him in that situation. Regardless of how much I loved him, that is a life changing event and I would not be able to stick by him. Do what's best for you, not for him and his fetish.


To be honest, if you're really that fickle about him that something this insignificant is enough for you to be disgusted and want to leave him, its probably better for both of you you end it now. I pray that one day he'll find someone who actually loves him.


What's shameful is your attitude, Megan! Maybe he should have brought it up before you got married, but clearly he is ashamed of it too, because he feels like you will judge him, which clearly you are doing. If you can't accept his lifestyle, then you'd better take that ring off. You should have a talk about it, to clear out the air and to get rid of any other little secrets. Your husband just likes to play dress-up sometimes, is he really harming anyone? Many people have other lives than the one their living, that doesn't make them 'strange' or 'diseased.' If you try to stop him, things will get worse. He has to decide on his own what he wants to do about it. Of course, it is wrong for him to use your stuff without asking. If you want to be supportive, ask him to go shopping with you for femme clothes for him. That would be a good start. So open your mind, or get out! Make your decision.


I am a cross dresser and finally found a woman that understands ME. she is will to have fun with me as her male lover and as her best girl friend! all these years and its true. there are wonderful understanding women out there. However, if the CD is not passable and nerver will be then you must ell him to give it up. there is nothing worse than an ugly CD Bobbi


hi Megan, i'm so sorry for your position , i myself have had to endure this problem, it is a condition that your partner will not cure himself from, so best to get wise a start getting a new life, i had children which was hard to hide the secret from and family and friends to lie to about my situation, in the end i got depressed and went to doctor for help, he could only give me pills. no support groups for the wife only support groups for the cross dresser get out while you can


Hi Megan, You need to lighten-up and realise that your reaction to discovering him doing this is showing you your 'Beliefs' ..that men shouldn't do this etc. These 'beliefs' are invisible until something causes you to feel bad, then you know you have beliefs about it.. are making judgments. There is no 'right' or 'wrong' in such actions. Men are aesthetic creatures too. Mens clothing is very conservative and often boring. It is a restriction on choice of experience! Examine those beliefs you have!


Hi megan! soo-- my boyfriend went through some traumatic events-- we have been through alott together! he went away and we discovered his kinky side-- well-- at least he told me about it-- i try very hard to make him happy by dressing him up and doing the things he likes.. i still feel kinda sad because i feel like he has taken both roles-- the girl and guy- but we talk about it often- and i think we r slowly finding a happy medium- dont worry about him being gay-- or tranny-- he is only doing it because he likes the sexiness of a woman- he prob wants to tell u and doesnt know how too- if i were u i would use this as an advantage! u r very lucky!! u shud find some cute things and force him to dress all up like a girl-- it will shock and surprise him and he will be able to open up to you-- he will love you making him do something he secretly loves to do! best of luck! :)

Carrie Bradley

Okay judgement queen or king know one is saying that he is bad but for the most part I believe that this is a very lonely lifestyle. Unfortunately, many of them are married with kids to try and prove their manhood or something but the kids are the problem. I am hurt by my husband for deceiving me and you know what I can't lift 200 lbs of sheet metal so I guess my genetics do matter. I am not one of those women who is really high maintenance due in part to the fact that every time I got something sexy it would be ruined by my beloved husband. I never had anything that was mine it didn't matter that he was bigger than me. To the confront and damage comment maybe you should be told your not sexy to me anymore because you had those stupid kids. Talk about damage to my ego when I was 128 lbs 5'7" and in really good shape. Maybe I just married one of those asshole crossdressers. Can't wait to hear your comment.

Carrie Bradley

Pretty judgmental to say someone that actually loves him. I would have to say that this isn't a very insignificant problem. What is significant to you? I was flippant about this subject and it has ruined my life basically because as my children have gotten older they ask questions from me. Why me because he is so caught up with himself that they won't ask him. Questions like why is he in the shower so long, why is he wearing your clothes, how come dad won't take his shirt off when we swim or better yet why won't he go swimming with us at all. The reason he won't swim with us is that sometime in the last few weeks he stole my 16 year old daughters bathing suit to sunbathe and now has a tan line that can't be explained. Most of us women would love to sunbathe without the top so why can't he, oh yeah because he is just exploring his feminine side. What if we just want the man we fell in love with to live up to the persona he presented for years. Best con man I ever met.


if you love him it shouldn't be a problem.


if you think about it he is still the same guy and it is only clothes but talk to him about it and youll get to know him even better and maybe you and him will even be closer

Carrie Bradley

I call bullshit he set the trap and she fell for it just as I did and that decision of acceptance over what you really want was what he was taking advantage of. Just because this is his fetish doesn't mean that it has to be hers and just because she said it was okay doesn't mean she can't change her mind. Why not he can. The whole thing is like an addiction for my husband was the flood gates are open they won't stop.

Carrie Bradley

run for the hills because one day you will have to explain to your kids who will catch him "why daddy is wearing mommies clothes" or if you except it you will have to deal with why he won't take his shirt off in the pool because he was sunbathing in your bikini and has strange tan lines for a man.


for crying out loud, anybody that listens to wham usually gets sick!! what your husband has is nothing more than a fetish. seeing as he works fro home, chances are that he might get better results in sales and cooperation when he gets online and passes himself off as a woman instead of a man. I know this happens because my cousin does this all the time and he says it works. he isn't doing anybody any harm by dressing up. there are several things you can do: 1. accept this and work with him to help him discover his inner girl, could be fun for you, now you have a shopping partner, more girl talk, less brutish in and out of the bedroom. 2. leave and don't look back- this will cause irreparable damage, do not do this 3. think about how he feels and give the man some sympathy- he is not gay, bi, or transgender; over 95% of all crossdressers are heterosexual not homosexual 4. confront him about this, damage him beyond repair, and expect a horrible outcome now just because you are an genetic female doesn't give you the right to preach the gospel to him about anything. since when is it perfectly acceptable for you to wear jeans and t-shirts but yet he can't even wear a pair of panties??? that's called a double standard- I can do it but you can't, i'll look and feel cool while you will be a sissy-fag?? sounds ridiculous doesn't it


Still the same man! A dress doesn't change gender just his outer self. Now if he wants change genders he won't be the man you married potential problem here.


Hi Bobbi, So what do say to ugly girls, give up and die? Not every one is pretty. So what do we do with you when you are all wrinkle and grey? Hope your girlfriend is more understanding than you appear to be.


Shame on you, Allison I hope you have learned some tolerance in the past few years. We all are gods children.


Megan,your husband simply has a "fetish". There are many,many men like him all over the world. I know because I share that fetish. It doesn't mean that he loves you any less. His feminine side just wants to come out. He would probably love to have sex with you while he was wearing woman's clothes. Especially lingerie. I know I would. You should accept it and tell him you're OK with it. I know its sounds heavy but its really not a bad thing. Not something to lose a marriage over. Think about it. Good luck from "SJCARL".

Roger Walburn

i am acrosdresser to andi am just comming out more and it makes me feal better when am dressed and it dos not make me gay it dos not ae my wife or my kids like m ny less itis just cloths i say wear what makes you feal good my wife even dos my hair for me some times if you gotface book you can add me

Mark Rutter

At the end of the day, he is still the person you married. You said yourself you love him. So what's the difference between a shirt and a blouse. Women wear jeans that were designed for men to wear. It's just clothes and as long as he is happy why shouldn't you be happy with him.the man you love is still there, nothing has changed, he ain't gay or anything, he just likes to look sexy and what's wrong with that.


I wouldnt do anything Megan after all he is not doing any harm probably the same as a lot of guys, I like wearing girls clothes do it as often as I can just wish the wife would understand


megan reply me if you see this i wanna know from you i too have same feeling today itself i start searching that there are several men like me i like to dress like women but fear to dress in front of public so i dress when i am single when girls can dress like men then why cant a man dress like women??what wrong in it i wanna know from you is this worng??


i too have same feeling but i have one ? when women can dress like men then why cant a man dress like women


Megan: If you tried to understand and embrace your husband's desires to feel feminine, it will lead to a new closeness between the two of you.

Joe Powell

He loves you. He has a side to him which is not necessarily a choice. It will bring you no harm, and as long as it is agreed there are no 'hookups', then you might just adjust to a little more sexual freedom for him. Who knows, you might just find it a turn on and somehow join in. It's great to be in a sandwich - after you 'get' anal sex, it is something which you will not easily give up. Try doing him with toys and a strap on. It's just sex, so loosen up. No one cares.


well people because a man fells sexy wearing ladies clothes. or because en fem they engage in sexual contect this does not make them gay. example a domina takes control of a man and puts things in places. or an actual man does and ...... weak up people its just sex. you are not making out you are not on a date you dont plan to share anything with that person other then a sexual act. and so? i always put myself in another situation. if for some reason i could not satisfy sexually my wife, for health reasons or any other reasons. this does not change my love for her or me. its simple i would push for her satisfy her needs. at the end of the day if she comes home to us and is honest about everything there is nothing wrong. we need to embrace these things and it will make us into happy people.

Vee Gee

Lying is wrong. He is selfish. He does not care that she is now torn into pieces. He has undermined her entire belief system. He has crumbled her emotions. He doesn't know who he is, and has now made it so she can't know who he is no who she is anymore. Now she feels guilty or his crap.

internet merper

Exactly what i was about to say... except you said it so much better x


There is nothing wrong with him crossdressing, I have been crossdessing for over 30 years. The wife knows, but does not approve. Dressing in womans clothes won't turn him gay, it could really enhance your sex life.


It's the dancing to Wham I would worry about more hon lol. All kidding aside I am a crossdresser albeit a straight one dedicated to my very understanding girlfriend of 3 years now.She knows as I could not live with the lies and ,after reassuring her a few times that I am not at all attracted to me and do not want a sex change she was very mature about it.Don't assume the worst,sit down and talk to him and voice your very real concerns.You may be surprised,it may strengthen your relationship as it has mine with my girlfriend. It may like myself just be a sensual quirky sort of personality thing.I love dressing up a few times a week and often sleep in lingerie but when my Gf needs me to be a man I can do that too Good Luck hon :)


How are you able to understand and deal with something like this?

Jennifer Owen

sometimes its inbred into men. Society is rapidly becoming female controlled.and gender reversal is running rampant. it won't be long before the whole world is either gay lesbian or female. if i was your husband, i'd accept your terms. something like. private getaways to places where you can dress up. cruises ,resorts , private parties, etc.women are even running for the presidency nowadays. technology leaves no place for man as he was.if you allow it he will always want it. if you don't he will always feel he has to hide it from you. marriage is based on friendship. what would a friend do?


I honestly dont see a problem with any bloke dressing in womens clothing a lot of men do it. I would embrace it and get involved you never know you might like it. I know I do and its lots of fun

Good girl

my wife what me to dress in skirt blouse and cardigan and noylon overall do all cleaning in house when she out at work if am good she what me to go out with her dress in classics looking clothes i have been out few time last year with my wearing skirt blouse cardigan and noylon overall with nice wool coat in winter i look like 50- 60 year old women i can now pass as O.A.P she what me to go out with her mother to O.A.P Club and next week club going to Blackpool so am very shy going out with club why do i have wear my noylon overall when go to Blackpool can you help me ? am good girl what you thing thank you


Right, Your husband is obviously feeling like he can't be the man anymore because your not being enough of the woman. Start pleasing him orally and let him dominate you. This will soon change


john my wife tells me to dress up for her its turns her on

Nicu Cotet

haha sorry but am not gay i love woman


First off, I can see where it would be shocking to come home and find this out about your husband. The fact is that there are so many men who do this. You are not alone. I can't tell you how many threads I've read on different sites in regards to this. It's simply amazing. That being said, your husband has probably been this way for a very long time. It is not something someone just decides to do on a whim. I am a man, and I love to where sexy women's things. It is simply a fetish, or it could delve deeper. This is something that you should sit down and discuss with your husband. You think you were horrified? Wait till you tell him. He will be just as embarrassed. It seems hard I know for you to comprehend. I myself made it a point to tell my wife prior to getting married. And, you know what? She was very understanding of my feelings, and actually enjoys it now. Especially in the bedroom. I wanted so bad to tell her how I felt, so I "manned" up and told her. It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I'm sure if you confront your husband and be friendly about it, that the two of you will either come to an understanding, or you won't. It just seems silly to throw away a marriage for how ever long you've been married, over something that can simply be discussed. And if it turns out that you can't accept it, then so be it. At least you and your husband will have been open enough to talk through it. It may turn out that he is a transexual, or he just simple likes to "dress up" and show his feminine side. Oh, and if he does like to just dress up, it does NOT make him gay. Hope this helps.


nice ass! I'd like to bite it! and kiss it!


Love it! You look smashing!

wife of a crossdresser

Honey its all good,the man loves you,and there is nothing wrong with guys who like to wear womans clothing,my man was streight when i met him but we want somethin new and i susjested why not put sexy lingerie on,after a few hours of wearing female clothing around home he began to like it,,so honey go with the flow,show me where it sayss men cant wear lingerie or womens clothing


Dont stress,i caught my man crossdressing,he loves me and i love him,once you get use to it then it becomes a turn on,he will wear bra and panties to work but once home i have him out of his clothes in the shower then i lay out lingerie for him,its been 12yrs since we started


some womans like but some thei are very very jelous wen she see man in his cloth and thei start argui, thei are nervos,why man can feel the cloth woma why? that is the question of jelous woman, ofcourse thei just want feel only them wath is nice not both, but is tha past 100+ years womans dressing more like man= pants,yes i like dress like woman but only in home not out see to see me the people and not wen we got kids never, i`m not a gay and i dont like man, so Marry if you no like this becouse is only cloth no else,please dont be a jelous and leave people to feel wath they like this not kill no one omg

some dude

If you love him, continue to do so. So he likes wearing women's clothes. If he is into you (and also your clothes), and not into other men, what's the big deal? Talk with him about it, and be a couple. Work out the issues.


It was a shock the first time I saw my husband dressed up. I think he had got alot of the clothes from charity shops. I eventually came to accept this little hobby; with the condition that he shared it with me and not with others! On reflection now it seems all rather harmless: they are just clothes! In fact I now even like going to places and take photographs for him; I think some of my work is quite artistic.

Cotet nicu

Hi, i relly love this i like have one gf/wife like you to do like this but this not goin to far, i dont like wen i`m in dresss lady go out home to see me the people or if i got kids that is problem i`m not goin to show them this becouse am man not idiot or gay,about go out in dress woman all cloth etc yes only 1 day in year is on halloween or if one day specialy not even more,i`m not a gay i dont like a man i love and like woman but i like dressing inside home like a woman/girl but not alone,wen i`m in cloth/lengery like lady i love to do sex with my gf/wife and more fany and laught i like to do and joke but out side i`m man and that i respect wath god make me,thanks.

Cotet nicu

i love have a woman to dressing me up like woman but only in home never to see me any people


Also you might ask yourself why he wants to dress up as a woman? Ask him why he likes it, and why it is important to him. Don't ask in a mean spirited way, especially if you really love him as you say you do. Ask in a way that helps you understand. If it something you just can't handle, then leave him now. If is something that you can try and learn about, then talk to him often about it, buy him some panties or maybe a dress, but something that tells him you are trying to understand. Try and make it fun together, you should try and fantasize a little, it should be fun together. Most cross dressers are heterosexual and have no desire to be with a man and in fact prefer to be with woman. You will not find a more loyal man than one you can share his and your deepest fantasies with. Many men if allowed to express their feminine side, will offer more in a relationship than a man that has not discovered or been allowed to show their feminine side. It can be a win win situation for both.


I feel so fortunate. I have always wore panties since before I met my wife, and have always shaved my body. I told her about wearing panties and stockings up front before we got serious. We married about 2 years later. Over time my wife would come home with new clothing for me such as tops and shorts. She has bought me perfume, mascara, eye liner, lip stick, jewelry and she had my ears pierced twice. A couple years ago I had to have both my hips replaced due to an accident, it was hard to get pants on so my wife went to good will and bought me a couple of knee length skirts and an aline dress. I wore them everyday while I was recovering. We each liked it so much that I have since acquired 5 or 6 jumper dresses, and several more skirts and tops. I wear woman's shoes as well and have an awesome pair of purple knee length boots we both love, gladiator sandals, a pair of flats, and a pair of red leather booty's. We go shopping together now and recently we went to buy each of us a couple of very pretty bras with matching panties. Then last week she came home with a couple of beautiful silk nighty's for me. Our sex life is awesome, our communication with each other is awesome. We made it fun for both of us from the beginning, I have no desire to be with anyone else. I work for myself, and dress appropriately as needed to conduct business in the community. I dress in woman's jeans and tops when in public like to go out for dinner or day trips, but nothing extremely feminine so as not to draw attention to myself, but when we are at home I am fully dressed as a woman in very pretty and feminine clothing, complete with jewelry and makeup. There are times that my wife wants me to dress up as a man during our play time for something different. The important thing is we respect each other, we indulge each others fantasies, and we talk. We have now been married twelve wonderful years.


I wear what I want, when I want. More people should. There is absolutely no harm. Its about a wives own fears most of the time. I am told I look great either as a male or female. My wife is loving and supportive and it has made our relationship so much better. She is my best friend. Time for you to open your mind and understand rather than judge. Good luck

Robert G.

Hey Megan, the other issues would be a time when he would want to start HRT,then it"s getting to a point of wanting to live the rest of his life as a female. Keep in mind that he can't just go to the doctor & start. Most of the states prefer you to have to have sessions with a head doctor,shrink-lol, before any HRT will start. The reason for this is to prevent or explain what is about to happen & how things will change & what is going to happen to their bodies & to prevent people from making a gender change do to drugs or on the spur of the moment decision or mental issues that would be solved by gender change & other reasons.They also want to talk to the spouse & other family members for their thoughts & what they will face when it all begins & other things.Not saying this is what they do but all of this i have red on the internet. There are over 900,000 transgenders out there & that's a lot of people.Keep in mind that a transgender person is a person who hast started HRT for transition. A crossdresser is not a transgender Best thing to do is to look on youtube & see some of the transgender's journey from start to finish..It's remarkable how science & technology has advanced & what they can do..If this was a bad thing they would of not let the research be performed so if they had the knowledge in the past, they're would of been transgender people back then but back then women couldn't even wear pants at all & harmone research wasn't even known at all..What I'm saying is just because he is starting to wanting to dressup like a female is not a reason to end your relationship.Him wanting to dressup while at home is just something he enjoys to do for his own self satisfaction or pleasures. At home is behind close doors & private or even getting in the car & drive around dressed up. It still is not the same as walking around in public or even talk to anybody unless you look good & can do the voice thing & that usually takes a lot of time to master & face features that are manly,it's very hard to cover up with makeup so i feel you have nothing to worry about..Hey what you might want to do is go to sex toy shop & buy you a strap-on & then ask him if he would want to try being the reciever than the giver & see if he enjoys that.Just to let you know they state their are more men who are wanting to explore anal sex. Of coarse he is not going to bring it up at all to anybody that he is wanting to explore the sensations they state, they have their wives put on a strap on & gives it to him which is also another addition for sexual satisfaction,even if it's for him at the end.You never know you might kinda have fun with giving it to him.You might have more intense sex due to he has something more to look forward to that he is starting to enjoy it..But there is a lot of websites that explain the numbers of men who are doing this more & more. That would be one way for him to see you are wanting to be a part of his exploring all the sensations he might be needing for his own pleasures.That's part of it,you do things to each other to maximize the pleasures that you do together as one. Just be open minded & remember he still has feelings you can hurt his feelings very easy if you say the wrong thing or go off on him & if you have a problem with it,tell him he needs to do this on his alone time but sometimes it's impossible so maybe he could do this while you are shopping or whatever. He is still the person you feel in love with but nothing has changed but the cover when he feels he needs to dressup..I think you will be ok with it when you open your mind & heart & be his bestfriend, if he's having enjoyable fun with it try to find a way to have fun with it too..You can do this..good luck with this & there is no need to worry about your relationship it's still solid.He wants your help & understanding & seeking your involvement with him for his exploring pleasures that he may want to try. Any questions feel free to ask,will be glad to tell you where you can go to see if he needs things for proper shape but it all depends how perfect he wants to look..Have fun

Robert G.

megan,not sure what you need to do but my girlfriend hates it.When i was going to dress up like a female at holloween she thought i was joking.I was asking for help with makeup & of coarse I had to do it the hard way.had to learn all of that on my on so it had all the ups & downs on getting it right.You can't get help from anyone & you feel that a woman would be more understanding & would be glad to help you but that was a bad idea. I found women are more judgemental in a hard way & especially when you want to do it right & see how far you can go with makeup & clothing.It's a great feeling changing your apperance to female, breasts,pantyhose,tight mini-skirt,nice high heels,creating curves & one thing lead to another where I found myself loving how it made me feel about myself & really enjoyed dressing up. It also helps if you have something going your way like nice legs,good shape or looking real good in makeup etc..I found myself shaving my legs & chest & there is nothing greater than smooth feeling legs & with a good pair of pantyhose,your legs will look great with a mini-dress with heels.It's hard to not want to dress-up all the time.There are times when i get up in the mourning I want to start doing make-up & creating the look because I enjoy it so much,i really can't stop it..Be understanding & ask to help him & show him whatever he wants to know & be a part of his fun. You actually enjoy going out & shopping & talking about fashion,make-up & body movements as a female.He will be more comfortable talking to you & will love you even more because you are willing to help him without any comments..You might be a little closer due to conversations can be more enjoyable being able to talk about what usually girls talk to each other about & normal things that you talked about as a couple so nothing has changed except him wanting to dress up like a female. Myself i like to dressup all the way,wig,makeup,shapewear,nice tight mini-dress,pantyhose & heels,it looks so good & feels great too,,Don't knock it till you try it..You might like it...Some crossdressers like to wear under garments all the time but for me I only put them on when I'm dressing up,100% that's the way i like it..So be there for him & help him & let him know that you will be there for him for advise..I had to get all my help from youtube & it really helped me for what i was trying to achieve due to know one would even try to give me any assistance at all..It would of been real nice if my girlfriend would of helped me but she would just make fun of me & I really hated that to the fullest but we are cool now to a point & I mainly dressup when I'm alone,which is ok with me because i really enjoy doing it..Do things around the house that he can dressup for or just play with it and where it takes you. You might find a new way to put a little spice in your relationship..Don't be afraid not to try,you might have fun if you don't worry about it


I married my husband 16 years ago knowing all along he likes to dress in womens clothes nothing wrong with it if that's what you want to do is fine with me at least he's not cheating on me because I know is straight looking like this if he's dressed at the womens clothes at least you know he's not with another woman just enjoy it life is too short as it is hope this helps LeAnn


Being "narrow-minded" is worse than cross-dressing ANY day.. Carrie, you suck, plain and simple...! You are VERY selfish! Telling these folks to "leave him" because he dresses in a way that you don't like??? What an idiot you are!! Just because men haven't asserted themselves and dressed as they wanted to, in the past, doesn't mean they don't have the right to!! Women have taken all but a few fashions for themselves and expect to leave men with virtually nothing to wear except "what women approve of"..??? Now you know how men feel when 99% of women gain weight AFTER they are married............................

Angela Bush

All men enjoy dressing in women's clothes occasionally. Don't worry about it. Angela


Honestly, that is sad. Not to be negative about the situation, but, coming from a straight guy, i never in my life have i ever thought about trying on any type of womans clothing and feeling good in it. I tried on my wifes pants as a joke in front of her and laughed but that is about it. It is not human becuase if it was normal, then you wouldnt run out the house and started crying about it at the park. honestly, you should confront him about the situation and ask him wtf was he doing dancing in front of the mirror with your clothes on. That is nowhere near a stright thing and it might be a borderline gay thing. Just ask him. BUt if you love him like you say you do, dont ever hesitate to talk to your husband becuase it annoying when women are easy to go off on a guy but never want to tel us whats going on. Just saying. Hope eveything is well


I know from personal experience - It is extremely difficult to first off tell your wife you feel this way, since the social acceptance is so difficult for men - there is a ton of Fear men go thru here, most suppress this so much I believe is why there is so much sexual outburst from men in our society. The bigger problem is women are more closed minded about this than men are ever about their girl. My wife goes for months with out even shaving, skips showers, ya she throws on a dress most days - but very much disregards her femininity. It is also fine for her to wear whatever she wants, often my clothes also, but the moment I want to put something pretty on, rather than all my guy clothes, which all look the same - I am shamed, also told not to leave the room, or only do it alone, like it's so bad. I'll tell you - I'm sick of this


Ok Lets just say this, it's normal to experiment, and if you find you like it you to do it more, that's all it is, many many men, who are straight, love to be with women, but have a strong female side to their character, gender is not binary, even the medics accept this, as to this being a deal breaker, well you can't have a very deep and loving relationship, if a harmless desire comes between you, then I pity you, but not as much as I pity, and feel for your husband, he is not a criminal, a paedophile, a con artist who steals from the vulnerable, or a Bigot, he is a warm, caring, normal guy, and if you actually let him open up to you in a non judgemental way, you will almost certainly become much closer, and in answer to why has he not told you, the poor bloke is scared, yes scared, we are not all built of stone, it is a hard life being a man in the 21st century, women do men's jobs, often earn much more than their partners, wear anything they want, and it's all OK, maybe we are the really understanding ones, not you, most guys are OK with cross dressing, it's women who get freaked out by it...

Bob Hathaway

if that's what he loves to do as long as it doesn't bother any one id let him dress like a female aif hes happy doing it

brandie brandenburg

let him buy his own female clothes

Sally P

That's so stupid a thing to say that all i can say to you is this.

Sally P

After all our kids were grown and living with their own families, my husband and I were still in love. He's just this thoughtful guy and very loving. Well, a few years ago I came home from a shopping excursion and noticed there was a smell of fragrance in the air but not one of mine. It was as if another woman had been in the house. My husband was working in his shop, so i went to ask him who had been around. He said nobody had, so I asked him about the smell. Now after married so long I get to know when he's embarrassed. He eventually told me he had it for himself, and even went to get the bottle and showed me. Well, I was a little shocked to find that out, but we talked about it and he told me he had a few times wore women's clothes, but not at Halloween (when he had wore them one time). To cut a long story short, sure I was a little confused to start with, confused more than i was upset. But then we talked about it and he eventually opened up completely. He wears womens clothes around the house most every day he isn't working, and usually changes as soon as he gets home from work. Apart from the clothing, he is the same guy I always knew. We have even been on shopping trips together and he asks me which top would suit him best, or what style shoe. You see, when I married him I didn't want him to change, but over time I realized we both grow together. I know we will grow older and hair get grayer, wrinkles have already begun, but it didn't take either of us long to find out that we had something special and that was the reason we married. If my husband is a transvestite or crossdresser, he is still my husband and I am still his wife. In fact I love him more than I did twenty five years ago! I am amazed how some women can find their husband wears women's clothes and suddenly their whole universe implodes and they don't love him any more. They need to get over their selves.

Sally P

ew, get over yourself. Panic attacks! Really! The one who needs therapy is you, ew! If you discovered your husband was wearing women's clothing, guess what it meant. It meant your husband likes to wear women's clothing. Do you wear pants? Then get your head out off your lower orifice!

Sally P

So, "the affair ... is my way of trying to keep everything together for the sake of my kids." No, the affair is your way of having sexual satisfaction and has nothing at all to do with your kids. It's all about you. Get over yourself, Susan. As you wrote, you have no idea what you're doing.

Sally P

Laura, get over yourself!

Sally P

Another woman who needs to get over herself.


I also like to dress in woman.s cloths my wife found out through my daughter as she caught me she like you doesent like it but we got thru it i still like you to dress up i think its the feel the silkyness the feel of the cloths and by the way i still like to dress up but im not gay

Cotet nicu

hey, that was goin to far, wen he dress in woman cloth he shut be stay in home/room not out side for see people,on my opinion am never go out just if some1 have to kill me only :)

Cotet nicu

wrong! "Do what's best for you, not for him and his fetish."


Megan, I moved in with my boyfriend 3 years ago and when we moved in I found a box with dildos, skirts, fake tits etc. I of course was like what the hell is this. He explained he liked to dress up and pleasure himself this way. Long story short I accepted it. Well then it started to progress. He shaved his legs, whole body, bought heels, bought a wig and even put on makeup. Ok now I still accepted it and I believe because I did, it went too far. I was a work and I get a call from my townhome office place telling me that there have been complaints about a man dressed up like a women, flashing people and grinding up against the parking lot pole. She said that she sww that it was my boyfriend and said were going to be evicted. I of course got us out of that but Im thinking wow Im out there busting my ass for our future while hes at home destroying it. This all started with me accepting it. Now he has gone behind my back bought wigs, camis, etc. I was open minded when all he did was dress in womens clothes. Then the shaving, camis, shoes, wigs, makeup and to me the abnormal way for a straight man to pleasure himself. See if your man dresses up like a women and doesnt do the rest of those things, then personally Id rather be faced with that then what Im facing now. Good luck.

Cotet nicu

a man you have to search your gay man not me am not gay i like woman not man sorry

Cotet nicu

Hi,Comon its just a cloth nothing more, just inside home not out for see the people and dont dress wen u got kids,but haha i know more womans thei are gelouse why man using them cloth and feeling haha ok why woman dressing like man in pants feeling like man haha guys its just cloth, relly i love have a woman-wife who like dress me full up like woman then jokes and make fany and sex but this nothing to do about gay, am not gay i dont like mans am for womans so am man, but cloth dressing in house- room that is nothing bad, just never out side our see you people or your kids, thanks


This one will be much shorter. Find you a hole to crawl in a die. Thanks.


Look, its simple, you cant say you "Love" anyone & not love all of them. If your love has limits, you know nothing of what it means to love at all. I feel sorry for the man that trusted his whole self to you only to have you betray that trust & comfort. You're a heartless woman & should be ashamed of yourself. I trust & Love My Woman, as she does me. Anything I would share with her, she would never see me different, nor would I to here. We are still the people we fell in Love with. Sorrow I feel in my heart for you, & even more so for him.


Private. I have discovered a few things about the man I love and am supposed to marry my undergarments and teddies have been commingl up missing as well as my makeup now I have a 3 year old girl and I know she's not doing it well then one night his phone rang and I was able to unlock it well I started looking thru it and found something I wish I had never seen a video of my man naked?????? I don't know what to do I feel sick to my stomach can't hardly look at him let alone kiss him or even touch him WHAT DO I DO we have a daughter together and I Do love him very much PLEASE. HELP ME?????????


yes but where do you draw the line ? what about your partners feelings ? why is everything acceptable i.e. will you be having it off with a lamp post next? surely there has to be a bit of normality?

fun man

My girlfriend buys clothes snd sexy things just for me to wear during sex. I enjoy it as well. Makes her happy and turns her on. Should allow him to model for you and makes it a fun thing for the both of you


I would seriously consider reducing his body temp to room tempterature. One pop right behind the ear works every time. 😈


The bottom line is that your husband is cross dressing. Do you feel that this is indicative of a mentally healthy person? Cross dressers aren't typically known for being rocks of mental well being. I would talk to him about it. Find out if maybe he needs to see someone.

Christina Marie Rosales

so many responses here and I am not sure what i will say. My older sister started my track in dressing. She dressed me up and took me to school s her little sister. It soon morphed into her making me into her live Barbie doll. I actually loved the attention I got from her. But she used it as border line humiliation. She invited her girlfriends over and they all saw me dressed up and gave me a girls name. I came to love wearing girls clothes more than boys clothes. In later life the dressing was a stress reliever. Stress from work, money issues etc and I would get all dolled up, and have a glass of wine at home and be relaxed. I have only been out with my wife dressed. I was very nervous. But on the other hand my neighbors have seen me, taking out the trash, feeding the horses, yard work etc. My wife still has issues with it but she knows that I love her and she is the only one for me. She has bought panties for me, and she has shown dresses to me when we are shopping and asked if I wanted it. By the way, I love women


If you believe he's a con man I suggest you divorce him and save him the pain of being with a heartless b**** Carrie.


So then I guess it's not ok for women to wear men's clothing. Now that's bullshit, how would you like it if men all of the sudden said that we don't like you wearing men's clothing?


If it's just dressing up... That's very manageable. I accepted that and even bought my husband clothes, makeup and went on outings to help her. However when sprint desires to change their sex, identity after 20 plus years of marriage... It's truly devastating.


I'm sorry. My husband did this off and on for over 20 years. Now he said he must become a woman. Our entire family is on therapy. It's so painful. I almost died from late stage cancer 2 years ago. Our daughter is so depressed she couldn't finish high school. My clothes used to go missing. I was told she was in denial and opps he's a she. We are both in our 50s. I'm so tired talking about it. I'm just tired. I feel like my life is ending. I'm trying. I love him/her.

Charlotte Deneice

You would take one think,and say the marriage is over. You say you have loved him,and he tells you that for some reason from age 5 for most of the men that they find it pleasing to dress as a woman,and it is relaxing to the man,and would you rather him be a drug addict,drunk,wife beater,child molester. Then why is it so hard to accept that he likes to wear dresses,and other feminine clothes. Your love is very thin,and I think that you need to read your vows through thickness and thin to death do you part. You can make it,and still have the man you married.

dizzy lizzzy

enjoy him like he is have fun dressing him as a woman you may get a lot more out of him this way talk to him get it all out in the open. he was doing this since he was a child I know I have been there cant fight it off love him for who he is not what you expect him to be

Colin Robson

My daughter has been known to sleep in my shirts. My wife discoverred our son was masturbating in her soiled panties and solved it by buying some his size and leaving them on his bed with a note:- 'For you darling son, please stop using mine. If you would like a nice girly nighty let me know. Love Mum.' Problem solved.. These things are simple materials so who cares what temporary fetish goes on in teenage minds. It is no ones buisiness but their own, and most people have had one or two during their lives.


Dear Megan, I have been cross dressing since my older sister dressed me up as a girl in a frilly dress with petticoat and all the other trimmings. She had me twirl and curtsey, talk like a girl which was easy at that age and join her tea party. Her friends thought I was a sister who I was close to in age. After my first encounter went so well and being at the tender age of eight, I felt it was an acceptable practice and I enjoyed dressing in my sisters clothing. I continued on like this for about a year until another sister of mine told my father that I was dressing in her clothes. I received severe punishment from my father and was made to sit in a dress in the front room for all to see. At the time I understood that I had done something wrong but was not sure exactly what it was as my father was a man of few words. I do remember him saying if I was going to act like a sissy, then I would be treated like one. To this day I don't feel like I am a sissy. I grew up as most boys playing sports, having girl friends, going to proms with girls, being drafted into the military during Viet Nam, getting married, having children, working very hard to support my wife and children, to raise them in a loving manner. I failed to discuss this with my wife before we were married, however I did let her know about my cross dressing when I returned from overseas. She tried very hard to understand and be ok with that part of me but in the end it didn't work. She insisted that I go to a therapist and try to change before we started having children. Oh how I tried for her and my family to be. Things were good for many a year. There came a time after children and when we were both working long hard hours and juggling our schedules with the children trying to give them all the things they needed to survive this world, we seem to no longer have the time for each other. She reverted to her soap operas and reading and I started working way to much overtime at the job. In all that time, I had a few lapses with my cross dressing though the urge to cross dress was still there. We have three girls and they all know and are very accepting of my cross dressing. I still work at keeping it under wraps. We are still together sleeping in different rooms, the children are married with children of their own. So here we exist in our lovely home with our lovely daughters out on their own having grandchildren whom we adore, very rarely talking or doing things together. We have not had sex in the last 22 years and it does not seem likely we will in the years left to us. I can't explain why I like it and want to continue dressing as a woman. I have read lots on the subject looking for an answer or a way to fix things. She is who she is and I still love her and will continue to love her and the memory of who it was that I was so in love with. Does it make me a bad person, no I say, just a very sad one. Sincerely A Cross Dresser


it is just a sexual desire i m 18 i also love to wear women cloth but i m not gay and it is a love towards women dressing u can't do anything rather than talking to him discuss with him

Michelle Thompson

I recently found out that my husband dresses up he told me and i to wish he never told me and kept hiding it. He lies to me all the time about it. And now I am seeing a counselor for it. I can't tell anyone about it. I am so mentally tired and ill all the time. I have told no one and think that it has effected everything. I also have two youngsters that hate it and don't like daddy dressing up in mommies clothes. He doesn't care he's effecting their lives and that hurts me a lot. Last night we had a fight and he took the kids to his mom's and they just informed me I am a crappy parent and that I don't deserve my question is should I tell his parents? Or do I just let them think I am just a crappy crazy phyco b-word

Charlotte Deneice Windham

Carrie, It is something that most men want to tell their wives,but ought of fear of loosing the one they love they take a chance.I have done crossdressing since I was four starting out with high heels,and adding more when I could. Most of the time it is too big,but it is a start,and why I don't know. I just saw some high heels and tried them on,and loved it. I dress regular almost daily. Sorry wives have to deal with it. We are still the same person inside.

Charlotte Deneice Windham

Most women don't understand. Whether it is the type of hormones they get while the mother is pregnant,or medicine she takes. When a child starts doing this at age 2 to 10,or different age. Why you think a child starts wearing women's clothes,or wants to play with dolls,drees-up like a girl,and wear makeup,and grow long hair. You have to understand that this is something that follows a child even into his adult life. It wasn't like trying smoking,and say I like that. This is a love that a male love to look like a woman,emulate them in every look till you can't tell they are males. Most of them are straight heterosexual men,love women sexualy,and they feel so natural,and comfortable when they are dressed up. It is hard to tell someone about dressing because you never know how your spouse,girlfriend,or lover will react,or go tell the whole town. Most men who can't do this think about suicide,sometimes in the most terrible way,depressed,and much more problems such as drinking,or doing drugs to forget about this desire. When a wife could still be their husbands lover,best friend,girlfriend,shopping mate,and share times as dressing to look nice with each other. But sadly the husband gets the third degree,called various names,wife divorces them,go tells all her girlfriends when the husband just needs her to be a friend to talk to. I know it is hard for the woman,but the husband probably has lived with this all his life.


I am a cross dresser and I know my wife knows because sometimes she finds my clothing,I went to counselling and the person saidwhy don't you ask your wife if you could wear underwear but that didn't go down very well,so at the moment I buy my clothes and hide them in a box ,just wish she would understand


A lot of guys feel a release of stress when they crossdress, like a vacation. I think it has to do with their self-esteem and that they believe they will not measure up as a man. It's like his sense of who he really is has been injured. Show him you love him, I mean really love him like you say. Merciful love is what he needs right now. He may break down and confess it all to you. He loves you and feels horrible about it, because there's a huge guilt thing that goes along with it. Many guys who do it go through a deep sense of guilt and if they have their own wardrobe, they often throw it all out, possibly thousands of dollars worth of clothing etc, only to feel compelled to start again later on. It's a vicious cycle, a merry-go-round they wish they could get off of. They know it's weird, that's why they hide it. No one really knows what causes it. It doesn't mean he really wants to be a woman, because if he did, he would be doing it full-time.


i am the same way i am a man i love wearing womens clothes , ie: bras panties dresses sexy nightys you name it i wear it i love my female wife it is just some men like the way it feells looks and is omg a huge turn on if you love him you should try to work with him and understand y he likes it my wife knows and is ok with it

Ing Sherman

Megan, your husband is not harming anyone is he? They are JUST clothes for heavens sake. If more men embraced their feminine side there would be far less trouble in the world. Ing

Jenny Angelique Sanders

Hello my story is that i have two sisters and my mom really brought me up as a girl. I had dresses on from the start. Years later i married to a woman that had been with women for a long time. Because i dressed very fem she loved having me as her lover and to this day she continues to promote me dressing i have breast long hair all because of her and my family

Jenny Angelique Sanders

Hello my story is that i have two sisters and my mom really brought me up as a girl. I had dresses on from the start. Years later i married to a woman that had been with women for a long time. Because i dressed very fem she loved having me as her lover and to this day she continues to promote me dressing i have breast long hair all because of her and my family. And I'm totaly into her and devoted to my wife in so many ways. just open your minds about the possibilty real love because of honesty. and devotion. although our situation is a bit different because of our kinks. all I can say is live and let live and open your minds by not listening to the negitive minds of the world. all this because my wife sought me out as I was I'm what she wanted. So take a walk on the wild side before you throw it all away with regrets then end up with somebody cruel and demeaning.


Some men think men's clothes are boring. This is why they do this. Most likely he is not gay.


I found out my husband dressed in women's clothes after being married for 14 years. I tried to accept it for 10 more. However, it was an addiction, and in the end, it made me feel repulsed - maybe because he was also an alcoholic and verbally abusive. Megan, he lied to you. You should have had the choice to be married to a cross dresser. Apparently there are women are are totally into it with their man. I am not. I was so happy to get out of that relationship after 25 years! My kids are embarrassed by it, and upset. And not because of what I said, it was their own feelings. Now, after being with another man for 6 years, I find he also cross dresses, but in addition to that, he takes obscene pictures of himself. And he knew how I felt about it before we ever got together. Another guy - who lies about it. Do all men cross dress? I'm beginning to wonder. And I think it's more than not have as many wardrobe choices as women. By the way, I'm not sticking around with this other liar for another 10 years. Not worth the headaches.

Cotet nicu

all womens use redy mens cloth full so wats is wrong? jelose?


by the way, my wife knows about it.


are you kidding me. get out while you can... i am married, have a 3 yr old, i like wearing tights and keep this hidden. similar to a woman hiding a dildo from their child. but get out while you can. i would die for my son and all you do is make it sound like we are animals...


Megan just think you can have a girlfriend and a husband,my wife and i enjoy doing makeup together and shopping for womens cloths and shoes...we usually go to a town close by to di these things but we have so much fun together doing it.My wife will even come home with a new dress or shoes,panties and matching be open minded it can be fun and i am not gay i adore women


i was helping a lady next door she got hurt at work and ask me to wash her dishes i said yes i will help you out so i went over and did the dishes and mop the floor and a bit of dusting as she saw me doing house work she told me i make a good house maid i told only if i could wear wear a bra and panties only she then ask have you wore any i did not lie i told her yes once a long time ago she ask how would you like to wear one of my bra and panties just for a hour to see if you still like them i told her yes well after she had me dress and i was washing her bras panties by hand she came up behind me and told me how i would like to work as her house maid i told her yes as long as you want but only if you dress as a sissy girl i beg her please miss make me your sissy girl well after a year had breasts and i now live as a girl


The original poster probably wont read this as yours is an old post, but this double standard, women can wear men's clothes men cant wear women's is just a pile of nonsense, what if he wears "Women's Jeans" all Jeans and Trousers were male attire, till Women took them, the same as everything else you enjoy the freedom to wear with our approval, why can't you accept us as we accept you!, narrow minded or what, you are NOT the victim here, no one is seeking to harm you, nor are they doing anything wrong or illegal, grow up and deal with it!


I am sorry for you and any man you know.....

Andrew Binnie

Totally understand. That's how i feel

Andrew Binnie

I fantasise. So i like to do the same and it doesn't make me gay. But dressing is something I have to do and it doesn't hurt anyone apart from me with guilt. If you have a wife who is OK with it your so lucky hate sneaking around lying and being Secret crossdresser

Monika Secrets

Many men wear girly clothes and their wives and girlfriends encourage and help them dress. I am one of them.

Monika Secrets

Love your pics!


So, is it okay if i accidentaly bought a female sports jacket but then realized it actually looks good on me...?


Carrie is really bitter, luckily for her there is several cures. Now if she were my wife and property because she is and would be . she wouldn't have access to the internet to air our dirty laundry, she would be laundering it . and keeping my blouses wrinkle free and matching up my bras and panties into sets Since she has quite a mouth on her, Carrie needs be tied up six ways to sundown about 8 hours a day. but not gagged, she ll need her mouth for moaning when her g spot gets nailed over and over. Her entire outfit would consist of garters ,stockings, bra, choker, heels,lipstick,piercings, earrings. kids would be with the nanny. While i am dressed to the nines, way hotter than she is , so we would be lesbians together, just without the strap on. YUM. since were married , she is my property she would LOVE It. half the time I would be masculine like she wants. just to throw here a bone, maybe I like it also . if not then here's the car keys and there's the guardrail up in the mountains. pick one. Genevieve


I have worn women's clothing for over 43 years & I have found that wives & girlfriends who I x-dressed in front of really get turned-on seeing me aroused by lingerie etc even those who said they didn't like men in dresses

Amy Sadler

Charlotte, I sincerely understand. I had indentiefied myself with being a girl too, right from the age of 1 really, but it was not until at the age of six did I become aware that I should be a baby girl, albeit a Sissy one. Although I did not know that or was aware of that, back then. Being a Sissy to me personally is better than being a true girl and it is better than being like a real boy. I have the best of both being male physically but heart and soul I am a Sissy baby through and through, to balance out the fact of my physical nature of being perminantly male I am altra feminine in everything else, if I was any more so, the chances are, I would be a MTF Transsexual, but I am clearly not so. But that's just my personal take on the matter of me being a Sissy. And of course you're not gay, don't let anyone say otherwise, also being a Sissy does not mean being gay either, this is something that most people easily get confused by. Sissies and Gays are not exactly the same, similar in some aspects, but not exactly the same, I urge those who keep getting this wrong to pay attention and please get that through to your heads please. It's not rocket science you know. No, not you Charlotte, that last message above is for those who keep thinking sissies and gays to be the same or the same thing. Why people keep getting that fact utterly and completely wrong, baffles me completely. You are a unique individual, we all are. *Hugs*

Charlotte Deneice Windham

I have since five years old identified as a girl. I liked dresses, playing with dolls, makeup,and playing with girls.I am not gay just love the look of women, and want to look pretty too.

Amy Sadler

Well said and nicely put Charlotte. The situation could have been much worse, like her finding her husband crawling around on the floor in a very short baby girl like dress, but in adult size bearly covering a pair of frilly plastic pants. He would have been seen as and called far worse than just a pervert. Personally I feel that the situation to be near the same only worse because sad to say there is greatly far more negativty about those who are Adult Babies than those who are just crosssdressers. For the same reasons, it would be more harder on children if such an Adult Baby had any, sadly not all adult babies or corssdressers alike start off young, both equally can and do develop in men at a much later stage in their lives and because of that, that does make things even more hardest of all. It's one thing for a family to be able to accept a crossdressing or trans man dressing and being like a woman, than it would be to accept and have a father, or a son, etc. that is the baby in the house, more so if he leans strongly in wanting to dress and be like a baby girl.


What a lovely, sensible,caring lady, your other half is SO, SO lucky !!.


If a dress makes a man Gay---Pants on a female Must make them lesbian-


So---He's changed ---does that mean it's OK for men to divorce their wives because they have changed? Things like stopped dressing sexy/Gained weight ect ect?


So---your saying---a woman can & mabe should fall out of love because of what a husband wears(his appearance---Isn't that the same as a man diviorcing his wife because she gains weight?


If clothing is more Important to you than Love for the person--One Should divorce


In this day in age it's almost unbelievable that Any woman below 70 would react in such a negative way---or (as some have) fall Out of love because of what someone wears---Women have the Freedom to dress male/Female or anywhere in between without negative reprocussions---But refuse to give the man they(at least pretend) to love the same freedoms---Intresting situation-

Shelly Hickey

This is how I feel Andy... I feel it will help him to appreciate me as a woman.. I feel he always has and treats me with love and respect as well.. I just don't it to change our relationship. In many ways it feels as though we have gotten MUCH closer.. Its just that somedays when he does dress up that he wants to be treated as a woman and I am bi and I tend to be dominant with it

Shelly Hickey

I am feeling that very same way Ashley! My husband and I have been married 9 years.. we had a house fire like 4 yrs ago and I got told then how he always liked dressing in his cousins stuff and tried her stuff on when she was gone... I let him do it .. I supported his choices.. however then it started to change and turn... he wanted to become MORE of a woman.. like to the point of being a women.. I died inside and cried.. I was loosing my MAN.. but my husband has NEVER been a masculine man. Then when I told him I don't think I could handle that .. him being a woman and how I felt.. he changed his mind and didn't want it anymore.. but then he went to korea for a year without us and it started all over again... and your right If I had known then might have been different. I don't know what I would have done.. but I feel still NOW he hides his feelings from me.. HE is back to dressing in womens clothes ..maybe its I'm jealous or want to be him.... I don't know.. but maybe we need to seek counselor?


id be surprised if he didnt fantasise about having sex as a woman, with woman and men if he were being 100% honest. it shouldnt be a giant problem but also shouldnt be lied about and or repressed and kept private if the relationship is to last imo.


Im trans mtf but i sympathise with this person, she found out she has married a transperson. i had to end my relationship before i transitioned, for both of our sakes. ive since met new people and so have my ex and we are both much happier and remain friends.

d sloper

Carrie the only asshole hear is you. Think b4 you write. Double standards goes both ways. Narrow minded woman. You are the sort of woman that would put men of women.

d sloper

Sadie - narrow minded ignorant woman. Sadie stop wearing trousers and shirts or you will be called a lesbian. Goes both ways. This guy has done nothing wrong. After all skirt is just a piece of material.

d sloper

Carrie you so narrow minded. We should stop you wearing shirts, suites and trousers as you might be classified a lesbian. Goes both ways. He is still a man with a fetish. Good for him. Skirts and dresses are just material cut in a different way. Wear with pride.

d sloper

A real man would not make such a stupid comment. Clothes no matter whether mens or womens are just a piece of material cut in a different way. Wake up - romans wore skirts / dresses / robes bet they were not call gay or anything else. Men today are so closed minded and so stuck up. A man is what is in the inside not the cover. My partner does not have a problem with me sleeping in a nightie or wear skirts. Bet you would not call a woman in a pair of trousers a lesbian, argument solved. Only issue is the stigma to todays backward thinking man. Move on, there are bigger issues in the world to worry about.

d sloper

Clothes no matter whether mens or womens are just a piece of material cut in a different way. Wake up - romans wore skirts / dresses / robes bet they were not call gay or anything else. Men today are so closed minded and so stuck up. A man is what is in the inside not the cover. My partner does not have a problem with me sleeping in a nightie or wear skirts. Bet you would not call a woman in a pair of trousers a lesbian, argument solved. Only issue is the stigma to todays backward thinking man. Move on, there are bigger issues in the world to worry about.

comments powered by Disqus

FREE Newsletter