Mend a broken relationship: Gone off sex

(11 ratings)
Couple in bed woman pushing man away_J unlimited

What happened?

You've been together for years and have two young children. Although you still love your husband you're rarely in the mood for sex. Most nights you're just too tired and don't feel sexy anymore. But he gets angry when you keep turning him down so sometimes you just 'give in' to keep him happy.

How you're feeling

Irritated, baffled and under pressure. You still love him but don't want to have sex very often. Why is it such a big deal?

How he's feeling

Rejected, vulnerable, lonely, unattractive and a failure in bed.

How to solve it

Act now. 'The longer you leave it, the harder this is to resolve,' says Paula Hall. Sex is a really important part of your relationship. 'Ask yourself - if I had some nice new underwear, caught up on sleep and had time to pamper myself would I feel more inclined?' says Paula Hall.

If so, you haven't 'gone off sex' you're just in a rut and need to make more of an effort. 'Strike a deal with your partner. Tell him you'll be willing to have more sex if he's willing to look after the kids, let you have a nap, or a relaxing bath, or all three!' adds Paula Hall. 'Most men will be thrilled to oblige because the pay-offs are extremely worthwhile! It takes longer for women to get in the mood anyway so having time to prepare could prove vital.'

More help and advice

- Tips to put the spark back into your relationship
- Bored with the missionary? Try a new sex position tonight
- Who wears the trousers in your relationshiup?
- More common relationship problems answered
- Get relationship and marriage advice from Relate

Continued below...

More ways to mend a broken relationship

- An Affair
- Money problems
- Problems over kids
- Drifting apart

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