Sexplanations: 'I'm worried he's gone off me'

Average rating:

Every week we partner up with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.

The problem

'My husband got very depressed last year after his dad died. As a result, he became tearful and wasn't interested in sex for a couple of months. Our GP put him on antidepressants and he's a lot better, but our love life isn't what it was. I'm worried he's gone off me.'

The advice

Please stop worrying. I'm sure your husband still fancies you. As you've found, depression can make people turn in on themselves, and it's quite usual for sex to go on the back burner for a while.

Also, some antidepressants, which do a good job of cheering people up, are pretty disastrous for their sex lives. At worst, they actually stop some individuals from having orgasms, but mostly they just make climaxing a slow business. This is a common side-effect, but you don't need to put up with it. There are loads of different antidepressants available which don't interfere with sexual function.

So I suggest your husband has a chat with his doctor about coming off medication altogether - if he's well enough - or changing to a different drug entirely.

Meanwhile, encourage him to do some physical activities with you, other than sex, such as walking, swimming or dancing. Exercise is excellent for elevating your mood.

And when you are in bed, just try to enjoy yourselves without worrying too much about his climax. You may find that things will get back to normal once he stops taking the pills.

Until then, your man can still give you orgasms through intercourse or love-play. This should be nice for you, and should also help him feel better about his prowess as a lover.

The key challenge for you is to relax and keep the pressure off your marriage. Grief affects people in many ways, and your husband needs time to go through the grieving process and recover. I'm sure that you'll get your closeness back in time.

For now, give him love without demanding that he perform on all cylinders!

There's more advice from Christine in this week's bigger better WOMAN, on sale every Tuesday.
- Save 20% on a subscription to Woman

Is your relationship in need of some sexual healing? Email your problem to Christine on sexplanations@ipcmedia.com or to us at goodtoknow and we'll pass on your email.
Don't forget to call your message 'Sexplanations'!

Rate this!