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'I'm having a secret lesbian affair with my best friend's mum'

'I'm having a secret lesbian affair'

I'm 18 and have always had a close relationship with my best friend's mum and she helped me out a lot when I was younger.

She's 35 and yet we can talk about anything and we have always spent a lot of time together, but now we have become more than just friends.

The affair has been going on for nearly 2 years now and what started off as out-of-character, drunken sex for me, has now turned into love. In the beginning we both felt guilty and regularly agreed to stop, but it never lasted for long. She has a lot more to lose than I do and last month I decided I love her too much to put her through that. So to make it easier for her I walked away.

I miss her though and it's hard because nobody knows about us. I miss just laying in bed with her, talking and having nowhere to be but with each other.

I've always been aware of how wrong and damaging this is but while all my family and friends expect me to be strong and always make the decisions, she takes the pressure off. The connection we have, emotionally, mentally and physically is not like anything I have ever experienced with a man but I still wouldn't class myself as a lesbian. Even though I'd face a lot of prejudice from my family and would lose a lot of people in my life, I'd give it all up for her.

Do I fight for her or is this just too messy to ever work? Help!

'Blondie', 18

What do you think about Blondie's confession? What do you think she should do? Have your say in the Comments section below...

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By Charlotte Gunn

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Maria, 3 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

I am surprised that there are no alternative comments on this. What reaction would there have been to a 33 year old man with a 16 year old girl? I'm sure someone would have cried pervert! My advice would be to ask yourself why the older woman has kept it a big secret. Blondie there is real and enduring love and there are short term affaires that burn themselves out. They are experiences to be learned from. One is about instant gratification. Your 33 year old, a mother, is not behaving in a responsible manner and therefore I would question just how good a long term partner she would prove to be. If it truely is a relationship for the long haul it will last any separation for however long. Give yourself a year of being away from this situation and spend the time getting to make friends and a support group of people around you. Then ask yourself is this really what I thought it was and what I truely want?

Annie, 4 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

i had a crush on my best friend Kim she is 32 im 19 she was my mentor and roommate she was appointed my mentor from a church i was going to ...is his weird?i dont like her anymore its just a confession.

passingtrucker, 5 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

We all need love and acceptance, regardless if it's a heterosexual, gay, or lesbian affair. Blondie is feeling guilty because society dictates we should all adhere to a heterosexual and monogamous relationship. However, psychologist and sociologist have questioned this belief, which had its origin from the Catholic and Christian church doctrines. Science had concluded that sexual orientation is genetic, not by choice. However, people of conservative value refuse to accept scientific data, and stubbornly insist that church doctrine should be the law. Until these people of "older" values die out, and replaced by the better-educated people who had accepted the scientific data to logically explain gay and lesbian behavior, it may be prudent that Blondie should get over her feelings of guilt, and continue to see this woman in secret. If she feels happy and secure being with her, then continue the secret relationship, and no one needs to know what is going on. She's not the first woman to have a secret lesbian affair, and she won't be the last. If my wife were having an affair behind my back, I'd rather it's with another woman, and I would condone the affair without letting her know I'm wise to her deception.

diane, 5 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

If they really love each other what does it matter what peoploe think of them. They love each other and that should matter above all else. Age shouldn't matter when it comes to love!

anon, 5 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

love is hard why should you suffer for love is hard to find why not be happy people are afraid they may like it so poo poo same sex if its truly love and not a crush then be strong and go for love not sorrow

????, 5 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

hiya i think you should get your woman back. at the end of the day if she feels the same way then thats wots ment 2 be. an if down the line it doesnt work out at least u tried. by writin on here youve shown already how much its getting to you being without her so go get your woman an be happy hope everthing works out 4 u xxx

Dani, 5 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Hi blondie.... i was very touched after reading your story. I think you should fight for the women you love. if you really want this women and love her as much as you say you do, then nothing should get in the way... get this women back. it maybe hard for some people to accept at first but if you mean anything to them they will come round in time. The only person you should be worried about is your friend. make sure it comes from you and not anyone else. good luck i hope everything works out for you x x

chelsie, 6 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

if i was you i would just get her back if you love her that much cuz i know how love feels and how it feels not to be wid them

gemma, 6 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

I think you need to be open and honest with each other and with your friend and families, this may not be easy and you might hear things you didnt want to but thats life! If you love this lady like you express then go for it. You both need to be honest with yourselfs and those around you though if this is going to become a relationship and last. Keeping this from those around you could be destructive and hurtful for all involved.

catherine, 6 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Im a gay women, and happiness is so hard to find, i wouldnt care what other people say, its your life.. people do come round... i got with a married lady, and it was hard,, but we have been together 14 yrs, its been rough at times, but worth it.. go with your heart,, go fot it.. be happy...

Sally - Anne, 6 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

Fight For The Things You Love, Once You Lose Them They Dont Always Come Back. If your Family And Friends Really Love You They'll Love You Whatever You Are, Whetever You Do. Dont Let Love Die.

charlie, 6 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

at the end of the day blondie you have to sometimes fight for the things you want and if you love her then why not try to be something more ok because as long as your both happy and love and care for eachother you shoulnt care what people will think.

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