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I'm 18 and have always had a close relationship with my best friend's mum and she helped me out a lot when I was younger.

She's 35 and yet we can talk about anything and we have always spent a lot of time together, but now we have become more than just friends.

The affair has been going on for nearly 2 years now and what started off as out-of-character, drunken sex for me, has now turned into love. In the beginning we both felt guilty and regularly agreed to stop, but it never lasted for long. She has a lot more to lose than I do and last month I decided I love her too much to put her through that. So to make it easier for her I walked away.

I miss her though and it's hard because nobody knows about us. I miss just laying in bed with her, talking and having nowhere to be but with each other.

I've always been aware of how wrong and damaging this is but while all my family and friends expect me to be strong and always make the decisions, she takes the pressure off. The connection we have, emotionally, mentally and physically is not like anything I have ever experienced with a man but I still wouldn't class myself as a lesbian. Even though I'd face a lot of prejudice from my family and would lose a lot of people in my life, I'd give it all up for her.

Do I fight for her or is this just too messy to ever work? Help!

'Blondie', 18

What do you think about Blondie's confession? What do you think she should do? Have your say in the Comments section below...

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anon

love is hard why should you suffer for love is hard to find why not be happy people are afraid they may like it so poo poo same sex if its truly love and not a crush then be strong and go for love not sorrow

????

hiya i think you should get your woman back. at the end of the day if she feels the same way then thats wots ment 2 be. an if down the line it doesnt work out at least u tried. by writin on here youve shown already how much its getting to you being without her so go get your woman an be happy hope everthing works out 4 u xxx

Dani

Hi blondie.... i was very touched after reading your story. I think you should fight for the women you love. if you really want this women and love her as much as you say you do, then nothing should get in the way... get this women back. it maybe hard for some people to accept at first but if you mean anything to them they will come round in time. The only person you should be worried about is your friend. make sure it comes from you and not anyone else. good luck i hope everything works out for you x x

chelsie

if i was you i would just get her back if you love her that much cuz i know how love feels and how it feels not to be wid them

gemma

I think you need to be open and honest with each other and with your friend and families, this may not be easy and you might hear things you didnt want to but thats life! If you love this lady like you express then go for it. You both need to be honest with yourselfs and those around you though if this is going to become a relationship and last. Keeping this from those around you could be destructive and hurtful for all involved.

catherine

Im a gay women, and happiness is so hard to find, i wouldnt care what other people say, its your life.. people do come round... i got with a married lady, and it was hard,, but we have been together 14 yrs, its been rough at times, but worth it.. go with your heart,, go fot it.. be happy...

Sally - Anne

Fight For The Things You Love, Once You Lose Them They Dont Always Come Back. If your Family And Friends Really Love You They'll Love You Whatever You Are, Whetever You Do. Dont Let Love Die.

charlie

at the end of the day blondie you have to sometimes fight for the things you want and if you love her then why not try to be something more ok because as long as your both happy and love and care for eachother you shoulnt care what people will think.

Raelea

An 18 year old and a 35 year old are nowhere near at the same emotional maturity. I'm sure you are saying "I'm mature for my age". You're wrong. Trust me. I would assume something is wrong with the 35 year old's development. Additionally, feeling sexual attraction toward someone the same age as your child is a bit disturbing. Leave it alone. If three years from now, you still love her, by all means go back.

whitestud

No one is that young here she is 18 and 33 if they live eachother then let them be.

whitestud

Hay if it make you happy then go for it your only young once

lola

well its wrong I would know because my mother is 36 years old and she was dating my ex boyfriend and hes 18 it is just wrong but I can see how happy my mom is especially when my dad walked out on her im just going to tell you if she's married she needs to let her husband know because no one needs to be cheated on and as for your friend they need to know to because my mother lied to me and it was wrong I would have felt a lot better if she would have told me so if she makes u as happy as she says she does date her see were it goes but tell your best friend

John

How lovely for you hope it all goes well

crossdresser

no harm in that just enjoy it

knowbetterNow

Ro, is right. I was on the other end of the kind of relationship that Blondie is in. I was the much older woman. When the relationship finished I was devastated. It broke my heart more than the ending of any other relationship in my life. I know that she now has a woman of her own age and I am glad that she is happy. Our relationship was too compliated for either of us to come to terms with.

knowbetterNow

I don't think that it is wrong to have crushes on older women. It was better for you to have a mentor that you could relate to, at that stage of your life.

knowbetterNow

Why would you not feel threatened if your wife had a lesbain affair? That kind of attitude does not validate your wife or lesbian women.

dawn

i think it is terrible that you have been in a secret relationship for two years, i feel sorry for the fact that this older lady has abused your love by dangling your heart on a piece of string for so long,in your comment everything rings ( it makes it easier for her) what about her partner if this woman can lie to someone for two years how could you ever trust her. i think you have had a very hard lesson in love that love is easier to give than be returned on the path you would like it to be believe me to be the person in the dark is the one who gets hurt most. God luck and i hope you find a relationship that is not neede to be kept secret because the person your with would want to shout your name for all to hear.

cedric

this is a disgrae how can u betray ya friends trust!!! if i was ya i would forget this, this is no relationship.. ya dnt knw the half i've been married for 47 years and i would EVER dream of doing that :(, im 67 and would never ever do the dirty!!!!1 think long and ard... IM A CHAVVY NAN woop!!1

Linda

Blondie is lucky to have found this woman. She should definitely stay in the relationship and enjoy it to the fullest. It will probally be the only time in her life when she will have sex with another woman. Think of all the experience she will gain. She will take sexual giant steps by learning all sorts of new techniques from an experienced woman. You don't have to be gay or bi-sexual to do this. It is just one of the joys that some women run across on their journey through life. If Blondie wants to expand her sexual horizons, this is definitely the way to go. Think of all the things she'll learn and be able to use in her future sex life with other partners, boyfriends or husband!

Ro

If i was you darln, Id back off and take some time to myself there love. Your always going to feel uncomfortable about this relationship and it is damaging. Goodluck.

uj

hey blondie =) maybe ure having a rough time right now..u and i are only 18 and it is still to early to say if she is the woman of ur choice right? So,give some time for urself to think about it over and over again. Lots of sacrifices should be done and that includes losing ur family as well as your best friend which u apparently r okay with it. Maybe ure in love with her because she has been able to give u much attention,love and care wenever u needed them. It's time to go out and socialise and mingle around before making a decision,i would say. After all,love takes time to be built and if u think ure right,go on. All is fair in love and war

Jo Marsh

I have had younger girlfriends, and I have had older girlfriends. Age only ever seemed to matter to other people, never to me, or the woman I was with. There are several issues in Blondie's story. First of all, it must have been absolute hell to take yourself away from the woman you undoubtedly love. I think perhaps the two of you need to sit down away from home, and talk and talk til something is settled. There will be outrage from both families, I suspect, along with shock. The thing is, at 18 you are an adult, and well able to make your own choices. The way you describe the relationship makes me think it is well balanced, as you both obviously fill needs within the other person very well. To me it sounds like a very loving relationship, and you have to work out between yourselves whether this is what you both want, whether you can stand up to what will be a difficult time, and ride it out or not. I wish you all the luck in the world, and I hope that whichever decision you make is the right one for you. Be happy :D xx

Betty 2010

Hi Blondieeee :) Im a lesbian to and have been for about 15 years now, I was sorta in the same position as you! But the good news is im still with the women :)... I think you should go for it, if you truly love her and havnt felt this way before then go for it. im sure your best friend will be fine in the end about it, if shes your best friend then she will except it in the end! Hope everything goes well :)

saphire

I've only just discovered the web, lived quite a sheltered life. Sincerely shocked by these secrets, but also thrilled by them. Despte what people tell you to do, i'm sure you will do what you think is right. If my opinion is valued i would say continue this in secret. You have your entire life ahead of you, don't make it complicated. No one knows, no one gets hurt and i guess it will eventually fizzle out, just enjoy whilst it lasts. Ask your self would you really accept your mother bonking your best buddy! Think it through before you come out, a lot of people could get damaged. I'm attracted to another woman and it is driving me crazy. Hard for me to discover what i am due to cultural restraints and the other woman who started this is in denial about her feelings toward me and she has resorted to ignoring me and taking every opportunity to be dismissive. Life is hard hun, good luck. xx

Natt

Thats awsome! I would die to jump into bed with my friends mum! haha! Its unlucky that you fell in love because now your trapped, if it was just sex Id say go for it! Although i still do, i understand how you think everyone would feel about it and with society nowa days still not completely comfortable with homosexualityy let alone 20 year age gaps in relationships, Id say your probly doing the right thing. But if it was me, Id defently still be sneaking in for little sessions now and again. You'll Be Fine!! =D

Lesbian_Lover

I love being a lesbian and i frequently have lesbian sex. But there is a catch. It is also with my best friends mum. We hid it well for about 2 years, then once we was having role play and my best friend walked in on us. She learned to except it and now we are all living together and gradually she is became happy for us. Just tell your best friend. True, you don't know how they will react, but a true friend will tell you how it is and then you should become more secure just like i was.

anon

u shud tell your best freind,no one has mentioned how she will feel when she finds out you've been sleeping with her mum. have you or this woman even thought about her feelings,you should tell your mate first and see her reaction and take it from there,if your freind does'nt talk to her mum then how do you know that this woman wont change her mind bout you and stop talking to you for the sake of her familyor even blame you if her daugher becomes difficult towards her,that will tell you what type of lover/g.freind you thought she was,just be carefull an make wise decisions.

Bridget

if you love her, and are willing to accept the relationship on her terms, go back to her. if not, and you want it to be an equal relationship, talk to her. has she called you? is she missing you, for who you are and not your body? as for not classing yourself as a lesbian, you've had a relationship with a woman, and that doesn't need to be a pigeonhole for you to squeeze yourself into. just follow your heart, but don't make a compromise that will not make the situation horrible for you. good luck!

Maria

I am surprised that there are no alternative comments on this. What reaction would there have been to a 33 year old man with a 16 year old girl? I'm sure someone would have cried pervert! My advice would be to ask yourself why the older woman has kept it a big secret. Blondie there is real and enduring love and there are short term affaires that burn themselves out. They are experiences to be learned from. One is about instant gratification. Your 33 year old, a mother, is not behaving in a responsible manner and therefore I would question just how good a long term partner she would prove to be. If it truely is a relationship for the long haul it will last any separation for however long. Give yourself a year of being away from this situation and spend the time getting to make friends and a support group of people around you. Then ask yourself is this really what I thought it was and what I truely want?

Annie

i had a crush on my best friend Kim she is 32 im 19 she was my mentor and roommate she was appointed my mentor from a church i was going to...is his weird?i dont like her anymore its just a confession.

passingtrucker

We all need love and acceptance, regardless if it's a heterosexual, gay, or lesbian affair. Blondie is feeling guilty because society dictates we should all adhere to a heterosexual and monogamous relationship. However, psychologist and sociologist have questioned this belief, which had its origin from the Catholic and Christian church doctrines. Science had concluded that sexual orientation is genetic, not by choice. However, people of conservative value refuse to accept scientific data, and stubbornly insist that church doctrine should be the law. Until these people of "older" values die out, and replaced by the better-educated people who had accepted the scientific data to logically explain gay and lesbian behavior, it may be prudent that Blondie should get over her feelings of guilt, and continue to see this woman in secret. If she feels happy and secure being with her, then continue the secret relationship, and no one needs to know what is going on. She's not the first woman to have a secret lesbian affair, and she won't be the last. If my wife were having an affair behind my back, I'd rather it's with another woman, and I would condone the affair without letting her know I'm wise to her deception.

diane

If they really love each other what does it matter what peoploe think of them. They love each other and that should matter above all else. Age shouldn't matter when it comes to love!

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