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I'm 18 and have always had a close relationship with my best friend's mum and she helped me out a lot when I was younger.

She's 35 and yet we can talk about anything and we have always spent a lot of time together, but now we have become more than just friends.

The affair has been going on for nearly 2 years now and what started off as out-of-character, drunken sex for me, has now turned into love. In the beginning we both felt guilty and regularly agreed to stop, but it never lasted for long. She has a lot more to lose than I do and last month I decided I love her too much to put her through that. So to make it easier for her I walked away.

I miss her though and it's hard because nobody knows about us. I miss just laying in bed with her, talking and having nowhere to be but with each other.

I've always been aware of how wrong and damaging this is but while all my family and friends expect me to be strong and always make the decisions, she takes the pressure off. The connection we have, emotionally, mentally and physically is not like anything I have ever experienced with a man but I still wouldn't class myself as a lesbian. Even though I'd face a lot of prejudice from my family and would lose a lot of people in my life, I'd give it all up for her.

Do I fight for her or is this just too messy to ever work? Help!

'Blondie', 18

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