Carrie: Scared to commit

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Carrie from SATC in her wedding dress_rex

What does she do?

Carrie is a commitment-phobe and always takes her relationships practically to the level of full commitment but then backs off. Or she chooses men like Big that are actually similar to herself and can't commit. As soon as commitment looms she ducks out of the relationship or goes back to Big as an excuse to break up with her new partner.

What problems does it cause her?

Carrie's relationship behaviour gives her a lot of heartache. She's smart enough to know that she's let go of a lot of good men but hasn't been smart enough to recognise why. This problem causes her a lot of soul-searching and anguish as well as emotional ups and downs. It also means she's kissed a fair amount of frogs along the way.

How to recognise if you're a Carrie

You can recognise if you Carrie by looking back at your relationship history. Have you regretted letting go of a good man? Do you recognise you start feeling anxious when things get serious? Do you start nit-picking to find a reason to break up with someone who's actually very nice? When someone tells you they're serious about you and are in love, does it make you 'jittery' or even feel unworthy of their love?

What to do to stop/solve it

Continued below...

Build your general self confidence and you'll also build the confidence to go all the way with commitment. Each week set yourself one goal to accomplish. Pat yourself on the back when you accomplish it! When you start dating don't rush into a relationship - you'll be more likely to rush out of it too. Keep things at a moderate pace so you don't freak out when he says he loves you or when you start feeling you love him.

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