Charlotte: perfectionist/idealist
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What does she do?
Charlotte shows real romantic-idealist tendencies and wears these huge rose-coloured spectacles that are all about romance and flowers! Everything in her life is filtered through these and she puts love and romance way ahead of everything else and has unrealistic expectations. She's all about being a 'girlie girl' and she wants a man to look after her rather than be an equal partner.
What problems does it cause her?
No one can give her romance all the time and most men will fall below her romantic expectations. Unfortunately she takes this personally and sometimes feels she's not 'loveable' enough thinking that they'd bend over backwards and become her knight in shining armour if she was. Other times she thinks it's the man's problem and he's not up to scratch.
How to recognise if you're a Charlotte
The biggest clue is if a man has ever told you that you're high-maintenance. Also think through your relationship history and whether you've had loads of arguments with boyfriends about things like birthday surprises and anniversary treats. If you feel let down unless they really pull-out stops then your expectations are too high. You might also have a tendency to think that men should be able to know what you want or what you're feeling - they're not mind readers!
What to do to stop/solve it
Learn to value other qualities in the men you meet besides how romantic they are. If they're kind, funny or caring then that's important! Don't expect a man to read your mind and instead learn clear communication techniques. Be tactful, but tell them what you're thinking and feeling if they haven't noticed. Don't sit on things and let them build up into dramas. If you want more romance from them then lead the way and take charge of creating a romantic evening, etc.
By Dr Pam Spurr
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