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'I'm married but have slept with two other men'

(21 ratings)
Woman on computer at home_rex
I'm 27 years old and have been married for two years in October, but we've been together for much longer. I'm married to an older man who's 50 and lately I've been unfaithful.

We don't have any children and he works nights so it's hard sometimes and as a result, I've slept with two other men. One is a bloke I met on the internet who lives in the next town along from me. We've only done it once because he's married with a kid.

The second time happened when I went to London to visit my family. I met up with an old friend who I haven't seen in years and we ended up having sex. I enjoyed the sex both times but now I feel really guilty.

I do love my husband and I know he loves me but he's not an affectionate person. I'm always on the computer and recently I met another bloke who I've got quite friendly with. We've had sex via the web-cam and are chatting a lot.

I know I'm bad and it's got to stop but I just can't and there's no way I could talk to my husband about it.

Please help - I don't know what to do.

Wendy

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sanju

well,mistakes does happen,but here is not to be called a mistake dear,because your husband is not affectionate as you say,if he would have given you more time in your relationship,you would surely not have had online sex ant chats with other men,.,I do have a chat friend like that,her husband don't even care with whom she's chatting,.,.,its not your fault dear,if husbands cannot even care of their wives,so why do they get married?? I always ask the lady to leave him and we shall get married,because i can never see a lady suffer :S

axxymax

i guess you are just the perfect example of un compatible couple. i dont think its because of the age difference. i guess the best thing in your situation is to get divorced. Because from what ever i have read i see you will be doing him a great favor by asking for divorce. there is no way this relationship has a future. so why live in guilt, is it that you are with him for the financial security factor. because if you are for that you are just a gold digger.

karen

i had two affairs in 4 years and i felt guilty after the second one, so i told my husband.After telling him, things were never the same.The reason i did it was because he hardly ever noticed me and i wanted attention.Now he doesnt trust me, so dont bother telling him, just leave him and find someone who can truly make you happy, wish i had!

steph

It seems to me as though you knew you were going to cheat both times! mistakes happen but you almost planned yours! i bet you made sure your legs were shaved and you had nice underwear on before you went to meet these men!! It may not be just your fault but something is missing in your relationship that is causing you to look else were, maybe its passion or maybe it is that being with an older man has caused you to grow up a bit sooner than you are comfortable with and your cheating is a way of acting out and enjoying your young age. I think you have met the right man at the wrong time, its the worst thing that can happen when you meet your perfect man in the wrong time in your life because you will have to give one of them up, your man or this particular age and time of your life... which do you need more?

mike

Why not spice things up with your husband rather than staying on the computer looking for sex You say you both love each other well if he loves you as much as you think and he wants to keep you ask if hes interested in spicing up your sex life has he had fantacies about seing you with another man or has he had fantacies about swinging find out if he fancies some mutual fun then at least you both can enjoy other people together otherwise I sugest your marrige is over and walk away before your to old to find what your looking for and your husband will be left to old to find new love that will be loyal to him

Bob

Cheating is bad and shows a lack of respect for you husband and this dirty little secret you have makes you feel superior than him. You will be better off to confess your affairs rather than him catch you and catch you he will. Do you want to be labeled as an adulterer that all of the men will hit on as soon as this get out. This will likely hit the newpaper and you will not be able to walk down the street without a derogatory remark being made at you. No one will want to date you if they do its only for one reason. So, you have made you bed now what?

denise

i respect that you have been married for two years, but you stated you have been with your husband much longer. He was in his forties when he met you, he had life experience and felt ready to settle down, maybe you were not completely ready. Take it from someone who was in a similar position, tell him what had happened, at least give him that respect (note to you all), and remember there are no children involved so what is stopping you from walking away?

doncarloz

All the ones giving advices have some or the other vices. Everything happens for a reason. SO just chill and live your life the way you want and not how society wants you to stay. :-)

sonia

i know exactly what your feeling as im contemplating doing the same i love my husband and my kids n=but there is a wild side to me and i just want to feel free. i know its wrong i know its bad and not right but we are human i guess some things are better left unsaid. i have never cheated on my husband but i fantasise about doing it?? MMMM

Kelly

You seem to be blaming your husband for your indiscretions, so he works nights and doesn't give you enough attention, screwing around isn't going to fix the problem. If you have trouble in your relationship, or are unhappy, talk to him and try and change the things wrong in your relationship. If you want to sleep with other men, then end your marriage first and leave the married men with families alone! I bet your husband is as unhappy as you are!!!!!!!!

John

ill get with you if you want another one? Xxx

Sarah

I do not think you should tell your husband. Things will NEVER be the same between you if you both decided to stay together after telling him. He would not treat you the same, he could never trust you, and he would probably in his mind question EVERYTHING you do, and doubt EVERYTHING you say. If you truly love your husband and you are ready to commit to him, then talk to him about what you both can do to work on the marriage. Show him you love him, tell him you love him, and really work on things. Again, telling a man you cheated is a big big mistake. Take it from me!

panama

wendy tell your husband whats going on be honest with your self,and respect your self good luck

Bill

I agree with Keith. You're obviously much more highly sexed than your husband ( which isn't really surprising considering your age difference) - and let's face it, this isn't going to get any easier in the next ten years or so, as most men's sex dive begins to fade after they reach 50. maybe you should have discussed this before the pair of you wed.Then there's the difference of love and lust - which so many folk don't seem to understand. You don't love these guys you sleep with - and the feeling's probably mutual. If you look at it like that, and remain totally 'in charge' of the situation, then you'll be o.k. Keep getting your leg over as many men as you feel you need (in any way YOU choose - including with your webcam if that's sufficient for you!), keeping firmly in your mind that you are having them, and not the other way around. The love and devotion,care and companionship you reserve entirely for your husband - this was why you married him, and my guess is that it will stay that way until the pair of you reach old age and mellow together. The alternative will mean you'll get more and more bitter and frustrated as his libido diminishes and you'll either split or you'll stay out of 'duty' having 'made your bed' and end up hating him. At the end of the day it's really your choice, but one thing for sure, you're not going to lose your natural high sex drive just by becoming 'loyal' again! As for 'Jack' (above)... What planet is he on? Of COURSE that's not you in the pic! You wouldn't be so stupid to publish your own pic with such a confession - just in case he and/or one of your friends/relatives etc saw it on the site.(The other possibility of course is that the whole thing - pic and confession is just 'fiction' - none of us will ever know!) Anyway, at least it's provoked a variety of opinions, including mine, so hope you get something out of it all if you really are 'genuine', and send you my best wishes

Susan

Just come clean to your husband about what you've done. Explain to him how much you do love him and why you did what youd did. I'm sure if he loves you he will understand and see where you're coming from. If he doesn't, then it's his loss and he doesn't deserve you anyway.

J

I know how you feel and I know it is hard to stop because we are all selfish people. If you know very well that your husband loves you very much and you are very sure you REALLY love your husband, then perhaps you should just stop and ponder about what kind of pain are you inflicting on him when you slept with these men? what would you do if your husband did what you did to you? Don't do things you will regret.

Tyler

I think people being unfaithful to their lovers is wrong! Im not going to judge you, but you need to stop this as you already know. your only 27 this is a yong age and you still have your life to live. your not satified with your husband you need attension, and a sex life, it sound like you dont get this from your husband, cheating on him makes you feel guilty but you enjoy it at the same time, the attension and sex. you need to think about this, do you want to carry on been unfaithful? or do you want to sit down with your husband n talk about whats causing you to be unfaithful to him? or maybe you should finish it and live your life you may love him but your hurting him and yourself by cheating, he doesnt deserve this from you, and you dont deserve been unhappy so the best thing is to find some one your own age who enjoys sex and going out and living life. then maybe you will be happy and satisfied. also showing your body off on webcam is showing you dont respect yourself let them no you before you flaunt your stuff to strangers.GOOD LUCK!

keith w

You're 27, your man is 50. Your young, hot, horny and love to get pounded. It sounds so cheap but that's what it is. But don't feel bad, it's is your twenties and you'll never get them back. When your out of town, and online you get to be the freak that you always have been and there is nothing wrong with that other than you denying yourself the opportunity to be yourself. Anyone can love anyone, but you need to love yourself and yourself is telling you it is time to get laid as much as possible..We are in the age of the internet and girls gone wild, so one night stands with reunited friends, and online hook-ups is common for those in thier young thirties down. Be true to yourself.

Hazel

I think what you've done to your husband is horrible! He is t work earning money and your selfishly sleeping with other guys. You should explain to him that you miss him when he is not there and maybe discuss him getting a day job. If you cant talk to him you may as well not be with him - what is the point!

Jack

Wendy? WENDY IS THAT YOU? Oh, god, Wendy.... WHYYYY!!

jodey

if you want to sleep around behind your husbands back tell him he isnt giving you enough attention and leavw him its not right to stay if you want to have sex with other men.!

toya

you really need to analyze yourself-get a life. i dont think that you are happy or appreaciate what you have. having sex with married man is selfish and disgusting - remember whatever goes around comes around! all the time you have spent with these other men, have you ever thought about what your husband is up to. talk to sombody but most imortantly learn from your mistakes and stop making them. try to take life more seriously - then perhaps you'll stop your ways

fizz

why oh why did you get married, are marriage vows worth nothing?

Ally

Wendy, Its good that you know that you have to stop it. But just think if you really loved your husband would you be doing this? I think you should talk to your boyfriend about it some way you have to confess you can't keep going on like this. I think that if you don't love him you should leave him and have a fresh new start with your life. If you do have an relationship with this guy on the Internet end it with him and start fresh just like that. Hun I know this is really hard but you have to do something if its talking to your husband he might help you get over it and be a better husband if he really cares. If not just leave him even if its hard.

stephanie

wendy, i am also 27 and have been married for 5 years. i think that that you may just be craving some companionship and attention that your husband is not giving you. it is impossible for one peson to meet all of our needs as human beings. instead of spending the day on the computer, try making some new friends that can help fill that need for human contact. and lastly, if you find it so difficult to stay faithful to your husband, he may not be the right person for you. if you can't even talk to him about being dissatisfied with your relationship, then maybe the 2 of you just weren't meant to be together. Or maybe you are not ready for a committed relationship and should go back to dating. Because if you truly loved him then you would not be doing things behind his back that would break his heart. Sometimes the most loving thing is to let someone go.

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