Sexplanations: 'He had a one-night stand'

Sex advice | Sexplanations - one night stands | Advice on sexual problems

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Every week we partner with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.

The problem

My partner and I were having problems so we had a month apart. We decided we were still in love, so he moved back in. But during a row, he told me he'd slept with another woman. He says that if a couple split up they're free to see other people. I can't forgive him.

The advice

It sounds like you didn't agree any guidelines for this 'space' that you wanted. Sadly, this is a common situation. It's like that episode of Friends when Ross and Rachel were 'on a break' from each other, and he slept with another girl. That took years to sort out!

In your case, you expected your guy to spend the time apart thinking about your relationship. But he assumed he could date other women - and sleep with them.

But what's done is done. There's no point going over this. It's more important to find out if your relationship has a future.

Things were clearly going badly before, or you two wouldn't have wanted some space. And soon after you got back together - even before you knew about the other woman - you'd started quarrelling again.

So things don't look great. Still, there's a chance you can rescue your relationship if you have some sessions with an experienced Relate counsellor. Find your nearest branch on www.relate.org.uk.

One last thing: if there's any danger that your partner may have picked up an STD (sexual infection) from the other woman, you should both visit your local genito-urinary medicine (GUM) clinic. Ring your nearest hospital to find out where it is.

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Is your relationship in need of some sexual healing? Email your problem to Christine on sexplanations@ipcmedia.com or to us at goodtoknow