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All relationships have their ups and downs, but would you know how to spot if your partner was cheating?Are there signs to look out for?

It's estimated that about half of us have already cheated or will cheat on our partner. In fact, around 60% of men and 40% of women will have an affair.

Now, we're not suggesting that all men are up to no good. Lots of couples have rough patches and our interests in each other come and go, depending on how secure you feel as a couple.

But if you do suspect that your partner could be having an affair, how can you tell? What are the signs he's cheating?

We've come up with a list of the most common signs and explained what the innocent explanation could be and the reasons why it could be a sign of cheating.

Have a look, think about your own relationship and then make your own mind up...


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Girl01

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We lived together, we met each others parents, we were happy until the last year or so... He seldom touch me. hardly even have any sort of affection... just more arguments. He told me that he is not giving me affection because he is tired or... saying he doesn't like the person I am now, saying I have changed. I might have changed, because I was unhappy for a year, trying to talk to him about it so that we could solve this, but everytime he ignores the emails and msgs, just pretended nothing ever happened, so we never solve our our problem of him being cold to me, then I protested by sleeping next door or being spiteful since he doesn't listen to me when I speak. Then, the climax is here.... I realized, I was such a dumb ass. I was so so so stupid. He didn't touched me because he was touching other people, he refuse to talk to me because he is trying to avoid the issue, and even accuse me of being a bitch and accusing him all the time. At one point, I was really stupid, I really thought that I was wrong, it was my fault, and even thinking I must be accusing him. What I found out really just torn me apart. I found out that He has been sleeping with other women every single time he goes for business trip, every single country he goes, every single city...He met most of them online through networking website,then asked the local girls if they want to meet up when he is there. I am so naive that I was waiting for his return from trip. I cannot believe it. and When I kinda confront him. he lied in my face. He denied and denied. I told him, well, we are breaking up now anyway, why don't you be nice to me for once, let me know the truth. He turned around said that I accused him,even want me to apologize to him for accusing him. To be honest, I was planning to leave him quietly without confronting him but because of all these things he said to me... I can't help it but Say it out loud about the solid evidence I got and He doesn't need to hide/lie... anymore. He got caught, he was speechless and still argue with me... I thought if this guy has a bit of heart in him, he would at least apologize? He didn't and he got even more angry probably because he got caught. Sometimes, I suspect has he ever love me? He disgusts me, he makes me feel so sick. He was luring all these girls, his tactics, I know so well, he is a sweet talker, charmer when he wants to get something... to f***. He was nice to those girls, get them out, f*** them.. if they are nice, maybe see them next time in next business trip in another 2 months time. If they are not his type, he carries on and ignore their calls and text. And.. some of them are young virgins, innocent, naive girls that thought he is a perfect guy, nice guy and a good catch..He always treat them like princess SO HE COULD GET THEM in BEd. I was so sick finding out all that. I am speechless. He ruined it. I think he is angry because this is the dark side of him that he wants NOBODY to knw and see. now.. I know too much. Most people around me and my bf... they all think he is a super nice guy, gentlemen, sweet and loyal to me. hahaha..it's all bull s*** now. He was doing this behind my back for the 1-2 years, not sure. but... definitely more than 5 girls he has cheated on me. and the same time sending million of msgs to other girls saying the same thing, doing the same pattern to ask them out, saying dirty things, sending photos.. etc etc... so, he is going to carry to do it until one day he get caught... He did get caught by me. I said it so loudly... I said, you think I am stupid? now, I am trying to get on with it. I was crying everynight, I couldn't sleep, I haven't really ate anything in 3 days... I feel like dying because It hurts so much, because I love him so much and didn't expect this to happen to me....I hate him for being so cruel to me. but what can I do? there's no turning point, it's a good thing that I found out now than later. So.... maybe someone has good advice what should I do to get him out of my mind?

Stahlgewitter

cheating is for scumbags and they deserve a proper punishment male or female,doesnt matter.

alix

well put it this way if you have your doubts him then hes not right for you and if there is no trust what is there?trust is the key ingredient to make a relationship work and if you dont trust him then there is no point in trying to, you will only be left with a broken heart. trust me :)

kelly

im a 20 year old welsh girl from the valleys.....i have a tip on how to catch them out.....it may seem evil but it works....beta if they have messenger create a fake profile on messenger or any social network website which they are logged with.....simply make a fake....but very attractive and easy profile....pics? no problem.....google(the good looking the beta chance they may take interest) and if he/she takes interest...you have the proof right there. another idea is how i actually caught my ex-partner.........him and myself both had a profile on facebook....i logged on through his phone to check my messages....then as i logged off i asked his password to re log him back in...and left it at that... when i got home i simply logged onto his account and read the messages on his inbox.....this may sound slezzy but if it gives you peace of mind and shows you that he/she is a player then you have reached your goal.. hope i have helped!

leanne

my partner of 7 yrs hides his phone 24/7 and always deletes his texts and never leaves his phone out apart from when hes a this mothers

Louise

I have just recently broken up with my BF after 2 and half years. We have a mortage and things are now a little tricky. He has assured me he has not met anyone else however, he has been texting, e-mailing and meeting up with a work collegue who is a very attractive female. This happened almost instantly after he broke up with me. I am sure he is seeing her though he tells me they are not. Either way I feel it is a kick in the teeth as if she was just a friend surely I would of met or heard about her before? Can anyone give me some advice as I really don't know what to think anymore!

Kaz

I've Been With My Boyfriend Almost 3 1/2 Years Now. Everything Was Goin Great Until Last Year When I Found IMs On His PC Between Him And A Friend. Our 'Friend' Basically Asked Him Even Though He Was With Me, If He was Offered Sex There And Then From A Girl Would He Take It And my BF Said Yes! It Hurt Me But I Let That Go As I Believed It Was Just Boys Talk! Then There was Another Incident Where I Found Messages In His Fone From An Ex Girlfriend. He Had Been Telling Her About An Argrument That We Had And She Was Telling Him To Leave Me An Be With Her Because I Wasn't Good Enough For Him. From What I Read In His Messages To Her I Found That He was Thinking About Leaving Me To Go Back To Her But He Didnt Want To Hurt Me So He Decided Not To. I confronted Him About this And He said He He Didnt Mean It That Way - He Choose the Worst possible Way To Tell Her No. I Told Him That It Would Be A Long Time Before I Could Ever Trust Him Again. Now He Keeps His Phone With Him At All Times, Deletes All His Messages, Goes Out Of The Room To Answer Calls From Numbers He Doesnt Reconis, Keeps His Bebo Comments To Be Approved So That He Can View Them B4 They Go On His Pages! What Should I Do? Im Sick Of Crying Over The though Of Him LEaving Me Of Bein With Sum1 Else - Im Goin Out Of My Head!!!!

katie

me and my partner have two children and we split once just before our eldest was born in that time he got with another girlfriend who he also got pregnat but she had an abortion. this woman made my eldest kids life hell threatin her etc and may i add she was newborn. he finially made his mind up he wanted to be with us. now 2yrs on after r 2nd child he and her r exchanging txts and she even went to the pub to meet him but apparently shes engageded? does any one else things this is a bit pathic and why iam having doubts i dnt feel comfortable with this situation

nei

it's strange, we should love and hate the technology at the same time, internet and text can help us to get closer with our love one and at the same time keeps us apart. I saw some of u confronted ur man for cheating on u...well, in my opinion, if you still love him, confront him may not be a smart way. Man either turn back and try to be good for a while or turn to be very nasty after u confronted him. Girls, don't make urself look so bad... if you still want him, try other way to get him back, be a better u, man sees women attractive when you are confident, happy, romantic...etc... don't make him see the awful you and feel happy that he got one outside which is better than you... Than we should ask the sexpert...how to get ur man back...

sarah

ive been with my partner for 6 yrs... i moved in with him 2 yrs ago with my 2 kids... since i moved hes changed ive found pics of his ex on our bed before i moved in i confronted him about it nd he just said shes my friend... she was dressed on the pic.... he hides his phones nd has locks on them too hes constantly on the phone textin when hes on the loo...im not allowed to ask him anything or he just says LEAVE if ya not happy...ive found porn on his laptop nd he just says hes not put it there.... he forgot to log out 1 day so i went through his stuff nd found the porn o his laptop. i feel like im going mad nd he says that too but im not ive seen with my own eyes what i thought all along so now im leaving him.... nd hes not bothered at all.

ATIYA

HI EVERY1 MY NAME IS ATIYA..... I WANTED TO KNOW HOW CAN YOU NOW IF YOUR BOYFRIEND IS CHEATING ON YOU LIKE WHAT ARE THE SIGNS...I KNOW BEFORE HE WAS CHEATING TWICE BUT THERE WERE FOR REASONS SO I REALLY DONT COUNTED THEM....I WANTED TO KNOW NOW HOW CNA YOU KNOW

Rachel

abbi, i think you should seriously consider leaving him. you've stated two incidents about him nearly cheating on you with other girls, good thing you found out BUT what about all the times or girls you don't know about? I am 100% positive that he isn't faithful to you.. and has cheated if not physically then emotionally. I know why he wants you back.. its because you left him and he feels alone he wants to keep you around his finger, for now. ASK yourself if you love him would YOU do what he's done to you? like text that you want to sleep with someone? If you respect and love someone truly, you would never do those things. You guys aren't even married yet and he's already curious about other girls. Move ON before your old and grey and regretting your life!

holly

it sounds like to me this guy never learns and if i were you i would not bother going back with him.probably liked the fact he was getting attention else where cause we know what guys are like. well if you really wanna get back with this guy so much take it slow start off just friends and see where it goes, but i got a feeling he will do it again any way goodluck.

Abbi

i've been with my boyfriend for nearly 10 months. In the first month he started acting very strange so i read his texts. He'd been texting another girl saying he wanted to sleep with her. We spoke about it and i stayed with him because i really felt happy with him. 8 months on he started getting weird again. So a couple of weeks after this his sister and I looked through chat logs on their family laptop and we found conversations between him and a girl friend, he was telling her he wanted to be with her and couldnt stop thinking about her. We split up. Now i feel really lost and i dont know what to do. As far as im aware hes never properly cheated on me as i see him basically every day. But it doesnt stop me wondering why he goes to other girls and does things like that. I've got it into my head that hes a typical boy and would never actually cheat on me. Hes spent the last week begging me to get back with him, and he still comes round to see me. I really want to because i love him so much and he treats me like a princess, but i dont feel i can trust him. Can anyone give me advice on what to do?

meagan

My boyfriend and I have been together for one year and 6 months. When we met we were both in relationships dying and cheated on our long term partners with eachother. When she left him (not for cheating she never found out) I went to my then bf and broke up with him explaining that I had been unfaithful and was in love with somebody else. When me and my now bf both lost our jobs I found a job after 3 months of being home. He's still out of work. One day at my desk I had this gut feeling he was doing something he was not supposed to be doing. We have been arguing a lot lately, fights end in pushing and shoving and last for days. He pulled away from me sexually and I noticed immediately as we always have sex no Matter how angry. A week had passed and he hadnt touched me or tried. My gut was burning with intuition that he has been unfaithful. I jist felt like there was someone else. I emailed my psychic and asked if he'd been unfaithful. The response was heartbreaking but also a reality. He said my bf is hungry sexually for someone else. I went thru his phone and found bo evidence. My psychic is usally never wrong. However when I shared the results with my partner he wasn't too happy. I ended up breaking up with him today the day before valentines day. I'm hurt but relieved. I know there's a reason for the Distance. And with thT said we have to live in the sMe house until I can save up and move out. He won't admit it to me. He won't tell me he keeps denying it saying the psychic is wrong. Its not the reading thT caused the split, its my gut feeling. I don't know what to do but I do know that I am tired of hurting and if leaving him alone is what it takes, then so be it. Hes 40 and I'm 24. I've suffered 2 miscarriages in the past year by him. I'm just so disappointed.

flue

I am a professional psychic, and I’ll probably be the first one to admit that sometimes, psychics need help, too! I was intuitively drawn to Therapist Oniha; I just opened up myself to the Universe, and with God’s great care, I was moved in the right direction. I absolutely endorse this email winexbackspell@gmail.com and Therapist Oniha,he is a natural therapist and intuitive worker. I was lucky enough to be sent to him when I needed so much help with my marriage, and he was 100% there for me in spirit. Trust me,he works true spell for me and please anyone on this blog should help me thank this therapist from the winexbackspell@gmail.com

mular

This is a testimony that i will tell every one to hear. i have been married four 6years and on the 7th year of my marriage, another woman had a spell to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 3years until i met a post where this man Therapist Oniha have helped someone and i decided to give him a try to help me bring my lover back home and believe me i just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 4 days as he told me, i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why i am happy to make every one of you in similar problems to met with this man and have your lover back to your self. His names is Therapist Oniha Of the winexbackspell@gmail.com

DENIE

I am testifying on how Dr Wisdom help me to bring back my ex-husband who left me 3 months ago i got his email on the internet on an article how he had help so many people,so i emailed the Dr and tell my problems to him and after that day he gave me assurance of 3days,to my greatest surprise my husband came back to me in third day of contacting him,i want to say a very big thank you to drwisdomspelltemple@gmail.com. for all his help..

Antonia

Thank you priest idigun for what you've just done, for helping me getting my husband back who left me with my kid years ago, I thank you so much the great priest of owonikoko for bringing back my family and I am grateful and will always be, if you also need his help you can email him (idigunpriest@gmail.com) my name is Antonia Paker I am from the states I want to share my happiness with the general public of what priest idigun of Nigeria has done for me in the last few weeks, I was in love with this guy called Maxwell, We were in love with each other until I travelled out for some month and we promised ourselves to be together forever, when I got back from my journey he was having another affair, when I went to see him, he told me to leave him that I should never come back again, and I love him so much that I can never let go off him, I told a friend of mine about it and she adviced me and recommended this man (idigun) for me, when I visited him at idigunpriest@gmail.com he only asked me to buy some items for sacrifies to help me get my Ex back and he actually did it and it worked and today I am happy with my family again, incase anyone is out there with the same problem or any kind, I advice he or she to contact this man today at idigunpriest@gmail.com and with what he did for me I believe he can also help you. Thanks once again Priest Idigun

Antonia

Thank you priest idigun for what you've just done, for helping me getting my husband back who left me with my kid years ago, I thank you so much the great priest of owonikoko for bringing back my family and I am grateful and will always be, if you also need his help you can email him (idigunpriest@gmail.com) my name is Antonia Paker I am from the states I want to share my happiness with the general public of what priest idigun of indian has done for me in the last few weeks, I was in love with this guy called Maxwell, We were in love with each other until I traveled out for some month and we promised ourselves to be together forever, when I got back from my journey he was having another affair, when I went to see him, he told me to leave him that I should never come back again, and I love him so much that I can never let go off him, I told a friend of mine about it and she adviced me and recommended this man (idigun) for me, when I visited him at idigunpriest@gmail.com he only asked me to buy some items for sacrifies to help me get my Ex back and he actually did it and it worked and today I am happy with my family again, incase anyone is out there with the same problem or any kind, I advice he or she to contact this man today at idigunpriest@gmail.com and with what he did for me I believe he can also help you. Thanks once again Priest Idigun.

dr kuvuki

I am James from United States, I am a man that have never agreed room to spells or magic in my whole life, but due to my on certain predicament that swiftly befall me and my house hold I had no choice than to look for an alternative, that was how I met Dr. ikoko, I was bolt from the blue that all I need from him was given to me, my wife came back to me, with all she took when she ran from the house to abscond with another man, I am so pleased to great Dr. ikoko for making me smile again, contact him if you want or have a similar issues with this e-mail: dr.ikokotemple@gmail.com

Myrna

I've got a lying cheating husband who has the names of six whores on his mobile, every month he treats a whore to a meal shopping and sex I presume, I see his credit card statements every month and how much he spent on the whore he's been with and when I confronted him about this he just says don't be ridicules and makes out I am just making all this up

marie

After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called DR POSSIBILITY and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email:drpossibility4all@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:drpossibility4all@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS.

smart moore

Dear viewers what should i have done if not for an online DOCTOR called ALLIYA,well my name is Angela i married to a man call Richard we were happily married for about five year we gave birth to our child in the second year after our marriage but we loose her out of illness she died at her early age of eight months old since then i could not give birth to another i have tried all my possible best but i could not,my husband was putting pressure on me and he said he will bring in another woman into our home that he is not getting younger he needs a child but i love my husband so much that i cannot afford to loose him to another neither to share him with another,i visited my friend called Monica i also told her about what am passing through in my marriage,she fell pity and introduce me to online spell caster that also helped her in her own times of tribulation called DOCTOR ALLIYA,he cast a spell for me that real works out my husband later came back to me with much love and carry and we were later favored with two kids Wow he is very powerful he can also help you out if you are facing any problem in your marriage or relationship,if you need his help contact him with this email: dralliyaspellhome@gmail.com

Anya Shroff

if the husband didn't find their relationship working anymore mean he is not having sex then how com her wife is pregnant... and are u sure that whatever the man told you about her wife is true??? u should also think that how com as soon as he know u that he started to have problems with his wife??? how were the years before the so called problems started??? and yes it can also happen that perhaps the man had done things like cheating her wife before that's why her wife react thy way with her??? just put u in the place of that woman???? would u like if u are pregnant and ur husband would b having an affair with another woman?? how would u feel.. hey dr i advice you to let thy family alone??? their problem would b solved automatically.. i feel u r creating more problems for them...

Lucy Peters

First of all,Am just short of words i don't know what to say,am so grateful to Dr Osaze for what he has done for me at first i thought he was a scam,But i just decided to contact him then he told me that my lover will be back to my arms within 48hours.Really when the 48hours completed my lover called me and said he was sorry,i was so happy that my lover who left me for over 4years called me,Now we are together he can't do without me he always wants me to be by his side.now he love's me and he does not want anything to hurt me anymore.My lover even bought me a new car and a gold wristwatch.And now i also have access to his account to prove that he will never leave me alone am so happy all thanks goes to Dr Love .if you want to contact him for help here his is private mail spirituallove@hotmail.com NAME:Lucy Country:Arizona USA

c u

get checked for sdi and sounds lkke she sleeping having sex with someone elses but dont quote me on it just seems that way sorrry

Tinchy Neve Kiernan

ive been seeing this boy for a couple of months now and everything was great at the beginning but now i havent seen him for nearly 3 weeks. He rarely contacts me i always have to start the conversations and even then he still sometimes chooses to ignore me. i know he speaks to lots of girls on facebook but thats harmless i think. we keep arranging to see each other but then at the last minute something aways seems to come up and we have to arrange the plans for the next day i really do like this boy alot and this is why i make such a big deal which may seem silly. when were together its always great but its as soon and i leave that things change what do i do from here HELP PLEASEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mika Jones

@jane a similar thing happened to me, my partner seemed to be always taking calls or texting in secret. At first I thought it was just business but later I began to get more suspicious when she was periodically arriving home late from work. Anyway I bought a Spyfone (http://www.spyfone.co.uk) for her which let me remotely track her messages, calls and her exact GPS location. As it turns out when she was saying she was at work I could see she was over 20 miles away from her work place!!!! I then had a look at what texts she had sent that day and one read "see you soon, can't wait". Well... needless to say I copied down her location, jumped in the car and paid them a surprise visit lol!!

Tara Mann

I've found a great way to catch a cheater out!! My bf was spending more and more time away with work and becoming very protective over his mobile. We were supposed to be getting married and i was very suspicious of his increasinly dodgy behaviour, so i hired someone to test his faithfulness at www.honeytraponline.weebly.com. I'm really glad i did because within 2 weeks i had solid proof that he was cheating on me - saved me the heartache and expense of a divorce!!!

liam

i bin with my girlfriend for 3 years afta 9 months i stared to notice fings like when we have sex her vigina is loose and wet most of the tym i dont do nuffink to turn her on then she started to say she has discharge but discharge dont make ur vigina looser does it ? some days its normal and sometimes its loose and wet as it went on it was stopin the same wet and loose if we dont have sex for a cuple of days her vigina is still wet and loose sometimes afta we have sex i notice i have white stuf on my penis sometimes it can be like liquidey and somtimes it can be guey can any one help me on this one please

tam22

Ive been living with my partner for 10 years and im 43 and shes 31 and sex was good but ive not had this for over 3 years and think she may be having an affair but she says she doesnt feel right about for some unknown reason, even in bed she always turns away from me and it makes me feel so low can you advise me on this.

gem

I am currently pregnant and due any day, and have found txts on my partners phone including picture txts from someone he told me was male!! He is hot and cold with me at the moment, sometimes wanting lots of attention others not wanting to talk to me at all. He always cuddles up to me in bed, all night, but lately hasnt responded when i say i love you. He has arranged to meet someone this weekend, telling me he is going fishing with his friends, i know his friends are going fishing but i also know my partner has no intention of going as he has said he will borrow his friends stuff once he gets there because he doesnt want to take it on the train. He talks to females on facebook all the time i know this because i have seen conversations, mostly are innocent, but at times i have seen private messages he has sent to other women. He seems to like female attention and at times seems to thrive off it, I haven't said anything to him yet, as i dont want him to know I have been through his phone, and, as I am trying to catch him out, I am planning on picking him up from his friends house early on sunday after this ''fishing trip'' because then he wont have a leg to stand on.

dean

the one whos cheating is the one who accuses. whoever does the grime, did the crime.

eleanor

hi i left a comment about 2 weeks ago suspecting that my husband was having an affair. since them it has been confirmed that this is true and with the woman that i thought was involved. i have confronted my husband who i could not believe would do this to me or lie, when i asked him on many occassions and he even swore on his daughters life. he says he wants to make a go of things and so do i, but the more i think about it, the more angry i am and want to call it a day. i am so confused as what to do for the best for me and my daughter. if there was only a magic wand that could put all this behind us and take the most horrible thoughts out of my head. life is awful and i know i should not make any rash decisions as its too early.

eleanor

hi we moved away from where we live two and a half years ago to start a family. i had a child and afterwards went through a difficult time dealing with post natal depression. my husband is a driving instructor and about two months ago i had a phone call out of the blue from a lady stranger saying my husband was having an affair with a student. after the initial shock i sat and thought who it could be. the only person would be a woman about his age with 3 children who he had been giving lessons to every week in the evening for the last 9 months. i calle him after just to ask what time he would be home an questioned why is was calling which is something he never done. when he got back i looked in his diary of his lessons which was on the table and he questioned that. he even realised it had been slightly moved on the table. that night i looked through his phone but could not see any thing to suspect. the following evening i confronted him and he denied it. he said that from that week he was no longer giving her lessons and had no real reason for this. i let the subject drop but in the last 2 weeks i am invisiable to him and only to be told this week by someone that i know that they had heard the same and the woman i suspected was involved. there is no way anyone else would know this as i tol only one person. i live somewhere where i have no family at all and hardly any friends to turn to, plus have a very challenging 2.5 year old. i so want to go round to this womans house and ask her as i know he will lie to me. i was never convinced by him when i first asked. i am not sure what to do for the best for me an my daughter and discover the truth, our marrige will be over. any suggestions???

jane

my partner and i have been together for 25 years, recently we have been going through a sticky patch and i have felt that something is wrong, i checked his phone today, i dont know why i did! i found text messages to another woman, he said 'you are so fit' and a second message said,' when can you come out to play?', i confronted him and he said 'i dont want to talk about this now' and promptly fell asleep, i am in total shock, he is in bed asleep now and i am sitting here not knowing what to do now

Artist

I do agree that cheating is awful but some circumstances have to be taken into account. Im going to tell my story as you have all shared yours. Some will hate it some will think I did right, but I will be 100% honest. I met a man online *Ste*, We didnt meet on any corny or cheesy social network like facebook or twitter. We met on a Foroum about The Paranormal, (a mutual interest). Ste first sent me a private message. I was instantly attracted to this man, I found him smart, funny and we had plenty in common, but by the third private message he told me he was married, so we stayed strictly as friends. I never mentioned my attraction and made sure he didnt know it. As far as I was concerned he was off limits and with somebody else. But after about a year of Private messages, all on strictly friendly subjects, such as work and interests ect.. He had pretty much opned up to me about how he felt about his marriage. I had pretty much gained a clear picture of this woman in my head. She showed him no love, she refused intercourse and when they were intimate she didnt care for his wants, he was never allowed to see his friends, she even used to mock him and I remember once he was upset because she had out right laughed in his face about an ambition he had. I hated this woman for the way she treated such a amazing, down to earth man. I never told Ste what I thought of his wife, I didnt think it was any of my buisness. Soon Ste was sufferring from deppression due to his marriage. Then she fell pregnant. Ste told me everything. He didnt love her anymore, he felt she had put a false mask on and revealed her true self after they got married. He didnt want to lead her on but didnt want to upset her. My heart really felt for him, I was worried for my friend, then he asked me whether he should talk to her. I felt awkward being asked this and I didnt want to say anything that would encourage him to make any harsh desicions. So I told him to do what ever made him happy. A week later he called me and told me that he had told her how he felt. He wanted to support the pregnancy and be there for her but as a friend, he couldnt cope with the marriage anymore. She was upset but seemed to come to terms with it, she said to him. 'lets lead seperate lives then', niether could afford to move out due to the morgage. A couple of month later he asked me if we could meet up. Nothing romantic. So I agreed. When we met up we got on great, I comforted him and he told he how he was mcuh happier now with out the toll of her pulling on him. Soon we were holding hands. Then he drove the 300 miles back home. A week later on the phone we decided that we wanted to give it a go. So we aranged to meet up the next week. I new he was in a sticky situation but I cared deeply for Ste and wanted to support him and be there for him. So we met up and we spent 3 days together and that was when we first slept together. We both thought it best if he told his soon to be ex wife, she had a right to know if she was carring his child. So the next couple of days he told her. She was upset at first but then she said 'well why dont I get out the house so you guys can spend a week here?'. Anyway, me and Ste are still together and only now has the soon to be ex wife started kicking up. Shes told all his work collegues that hes been sleeping with two people for years. She went behind his back and told his mother that he had run off with some 'cheap slut' and abonded his unborn child (not true), so now his family (well the woman) have dis-owned him. Shes tried passing a message to me saying hes still sleeping with her, which I know isnt true. Shes been telling people at his work that she confronted me and shouted at me, reducing me to tears (again not true), threatening to get an abortion if he doesnt go back to her, asking him for sex, telling him if he ever wants to see his child then he has to go back to her, saying that thier not getting a divorce whether he wants to or not, buying condoms and placing them around his room, asking him to sleep in her bed, taking her wedding ring and putting it in his room and then going back and wearing it, the latest one he told me is she keeps putting her underwhear on his bed. Shes also been racially affensive about me and sending me abusive emails. So what does anyone think? Did me and Ste actually do anything wrong here? I understand this woman is going to be hormonal but theres a line surely? Would this be technically classed as 'cheating'?

sparkles01

You poor girls! I'm a granny so feel I can offer some advice, take it or leave it. First you must have respect for yourself, someone can only do bad things to you if you let them. Put a high price on yourself, your're worth it. Second. Never take anything at face value, it you feel you're being cheated on, go with your gut instinct (you probably are). Do something quickly - don't wait for the next excuse. Lastly, there is life after a cheater - you ARE made of strong stuff, you will survive, good luck to you all.

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