'I fancy a man at work but I'm engaged'

(15 ratings)
Man and woman flirting at work_jupiter

I've been with my fiance for nearly a year and we are due to get married next June but lately I think I've been finding myself attracted to a man at work.

When I met my fiance I had been through some awful experiences including being raped. I thought I had moved on from all that and when I met him he made me really happy. However, I think I might have just been swept off my feet and I worry that I accepted his proposal without thinking it through because he was offering me what I wanted.

Recently we have been struggling to get on. We live together and he does very little around the house, preferring to sit on the computer for hours on end whilst I cook his tea etc. When I talk to him about it he says he'll change but then everything just stays the same. I feel like I'm the maid.

We also very rarely have sex. However my current one is far from this. Soon after we met I discovered he had problems getting an erection, this is something I have tried to support him in, going to the doctor together and trying various things. I used to say 'it's not your fault, don't worry, we can work it out.'

However, this has not worked and he has completely given up, it seems like he has lost faith in everything. He also has confessed that when he thinks about me he can't get an erection but when thinking about someone else he doesn't have as much of a problem.

Over the last few months I have found myself getting more and more attracted to a man at work. I know this is wrong and I shouldn't be feeling this way towards him, but I can't help it. He makes me smile, something I rarely do at home, he compliments me and I really enjoy his company - and he's very sexually attractive. I flirt with him while I'm at work and he flirts back.

The thing is, he's in a relationship too, I know he has been a bit of a jack the lad in the past but think he wants to settle down with this one. I don't want to come between him and his girlfriend and wonder if I am making myself look stupid by flirting with him, even though he does it back.

Last week we were alone together and ended up holding hands and nearly kissed and the only reason this didn't happen is because someone else turned up. Since then I can't stop thinking about him, he's never far from my mind.

I don't know what to do, I feel so alone and scared. I don't want to lose my marriage but another part of me wants to get close to this other person.

Any comments would be appreciated, I don't know which way to turn.


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