Secrets of a good marriage: Communication

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A couple sitting back to back on a sofa
It sounds so simple but talking to each other and opening up is one of the most important things you can do to maintain a healthy relationship. When you have a problem at home or at work who do you talk to - and who does he? Your friends, your mum?

Remember how well you know each other. When something's on your mind he'll be able to tell and if you're not talking about it then he might just think you're being grumpy. He's much more likely to respond well if you share the problem, and the same goes for him as well.

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Expert tip
Relate's Mo Kurimbokus says: 'Listening, understanding and empathy are all part of communication - not just talking. Speak openly and honestly with each other about your thoughts and feelings. Remember that men in general are not particularly good at expressing their emotions. Help him to develop the language to express his feelings.'

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It's very easy to cross that fine line with female friends, It appears from what you have said you both love and resect your husband; however, no matter how you dress it up an affair is an affair and if you and your friend have reached that point then a serious evaluation of your relationships is in order. This is not to say you have done anything wrong, YET, but honesty is crutial and unless you can be honest with your partners in this matter then maybe the friendship should stay as just that. I hope I have been of some help.... Best of luck with your situation.


I'm married 9 years with my first husband; and I have desires to be with women. Lately me and my neighbor (10 years older than me) have come intimate a couple of times. She has a BOYFRIEND of 13 years who treats her like s***; but my husband the kindest man on earth says she has SPARKLES for me, and lately her boyfriend noticed the touchy feely going on. I'm 34 and shes 44. her man 58 and mine 42. SEX in my relationship is more now than when we first got married (probably knows about "US". Her man has sex once a month only if she LETS him. I know she loves me but doesn't want to leave him; and I would'nt want to hurt my man. The thing is we are sooo much alike it's not even funny, down to the pajamas, underwear, cuddling and life experiences in general. My question or advice i seek is : I want to know if similarities is enough to live a happy life together; or am I better off with my husband who is opposite, and loves me dearly? ANY ADVICE IS GREAT!!!

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