Secrets of a good marriage: Have your own life

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Women drinking beer and wine together
When you become a solid part of a couple it's easy to lose a bit of your own individual identity and let everything become about 'we' and 'us'. This, is mainly what relationships are about - considering someone else's feelings as well as your own, but you don't need it to take over and become all you're concerned about.

Make time for your friends, take an evening out a week to do something that interests you. It's too easy to make excuses as to why you shouldn't do that Spanish class or set up a regular trip to the cinema with a friend - but just do it. What's a few hours out of your week and we bet it'll make you come back to hubby feeling that much happier.

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Expert tip
Relate's Mo Kurimbokus says: 'Make time to be alone and to pursue your hobbies and interests. Being a couple doesn't mean that you're no longer an individual. You deserve time to yourself. This will also give you the opportunity to contribute something new and fresh to the relationship.

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Hi I think this happens because u guys have been married for a long time and maybe sparks have been lost between the two of you. Perhaps you can try to do stuff that you guys do when you're still dating for example going to the place when u first met each other, renting favourite comedy or romantic dvds etc. its never too old when it comes to spending intimate time with one another. I'm also having a hard time as my husband is serving the army and we hardly get to see each other. any idea how to stop myself from missing him badly even though im busying with my own life?


hello I have problembs in my marriadge at the moment. I asked my husband of 18 years why he is so distand lately and he told me that he dont know what he wants anymore, as in marriedge or leave. we had a talk about it but i done most of the talking as he is not a really good talker.we came to the result that we will try to solve this problem, but he is still quiet cold towards me. Yes he gives me cuddles when is here or even a kiss, but that is all. I dont know how to handle this. he tells me that he still loves me a lot, but on the other hand he does not know what he wants anymore. what should i do or how do i handle this situation whithout hurting? I love him still too much to end this and i think deep down he does not want it either as he said if we split up he does not want me to move away. we both been crying alot over this. please help thanks oh by the way before i forget I love this page good work and keep going

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