'My Turkish toyboy wants to sleep with me'
I've been married for almost 28 years. I do love my husband but he drinks every night and verbally abuses me. A few years ago I met a lovely young Turkish guy while we were on holiday. He's 29 and I'm 52.
We have known each other now for four years but I only see him once a year on holidays. We talk every day on the phone and tell each other everything, intimate secrets. He makes me laugh and feel good.
He's asked to sleep with me but I have never slept with anyone else except my husband but I'm very tempted because we're so close.
What should I do? Am I just a silly old woman? Please help.
Pam.
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By Charlotte Gunn
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Sam, 9 months
I agree with some of the comments, I think your judgement is being clouded because you are having a bad time with your husband. You need to put this 'friend' to one side so you can decide whether you have a marriage to save or not. This is the most important thing, if you decide the marriage is over you must get divorced and get your confidence back. If your husband has abused you for many years your self confidence and self esteem will be low. Once you build this up you will be in a much better position to seek out a new partner. The new you will see this turkish guy for what he is, and opportunist who is after your money. My ex boss who was in her 50s, sold her house, her car and set up life in turkey and invested in her young boyfriends restaurant only to find out he was married and had took her for a ride. Be vey careful of younger foreigh boyfriends. There are very few stories of happy ever after with long term or fair relationships/marriage being the end result.
Report this commentGeorgina, about 1 year
I don't think you are a silly old woman but you are someone who is lonely and that loneliness is clouding your judgement. Have you thought about the possibility that he just wants to marry you to get a British Passport or as Jane says he just wants to use you for presents. Also, sex before marriage in Turkey is frowned upon so he might just see you as a loose foreigner who he can have sex with. I think if you are really unhappy with your husband you should consider leaving him, its a big step I know but you might discover life is so much better without him. Also, you should consider someone your own age - what on earth you could have in common with a 28 year old Turkish man is beyond me!
Report this commentKit, about 1 year
u r not a silly old woman but one who needs 2 feel loved. i have been in ur shoes. i got out of a 14 year marriage last year. he was a compulsive gambler. i am very happy being single 2 three boys now. leave your husband then start a new life. only then will you find true love. this turkish lad is only after one thing and that is sex from u and nothing else. u owe that 2 urself honey. ur husband does not deserve u. good luck honey.
Report this commentjane, about 1 year
Yes I'm sorry but you are a silly old woman.I dont mean to hurt your feelings but I live in turkey and see this sort of thing every day. This boy sees you as someone who buys him gifts who he knows will be going back to England soon so he can go back to girls of his own age.You are not the only one in this situation and to be quite frank I think you should all wake up to the fact that they are using you.If you can except that and look into your husbands eyes after then go ahead sleep with him because once you do he wont want you anymore.
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kelly, 1 day
i think you should address the issue with your husband first, you are clearly having problems with him. i think you are looking to this turkish man for comfort more than anything as a result of unhappiness from your marriage. tend to your marriage first and sort out the problem. if you can be happy with your husband again perhaps you wont feel the need to sleep with another man. it should also be noted that turkish men are love rats. perhaps he thinks you will leave your husband for him and as a result he may get access to your divorce settlement. be careful. you could end up with nothing.
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