What is domestic abuse?
Domestic abuse is about power and control, when one person exercises forceful power and control over his/her partner. It can be anything from being regularly shouted at and telling you that you are stupid, to him being violent towards you. Domestic abuse can be financial control, intimidating behaviour, threatening you, isolating you, rape and sexual assault or humiliation or physical violence.
Often it is very subtle and may start off as a one-off incident but this behaviour often becomes more frequent and severe and starts to form a pattern of controlling behaviour. It is usually men abusing women but some men suffer abuse from their female partners too. Children and pets often suffer as well and many experts have found a link between domestic abuse, child abuse and animal cruelty.
Refuge and Women's Aid reminds us that: domestic abuse is never the woman's fault - the man makes a choice, he is responsible for his actions
How domestic abuse affects women
Some people may think domestic violence is only when you can see a bruise or scar on a woman but abuse has many ways to harm someone:
- Cuts, bruises, scolds, broken bones or any sign of physical injury
- Mental illness such as depression, low self-esteem, stress disorders, self-harm
- Homelessness and poverty
- Drinking too much, over eating, under eating, taking drugs
- Suicide
A child from a home where there is domestic violence will also suffer and can impact on them too:
- Learning difficulties, having problems at school
- Depression, anxiety, stress
- Self-harm
- Isolation and bullying
- Taking drugs, drinking, over eating or under eating
- Difficulty making friends and sustaining relationships
By Louise O'Connell
Where to next?
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10 signs your relationship is over
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8 rules of arguing in a relationship
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Arguing: Don't name call and keep to the point
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Emergency helplines
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He's having an affair
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He's having an affair: Decision time
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He's having an affair: how you might feel
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He's having an affair: Should you go?
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He's having an affair: Should you stay?
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He's having an affair: what should I do?
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Keeping the peace at Christmas


