Is he good in bed? How he touches

Body language: how good is he in bed? | What does his body tell you about his sex technique | How he touches

Average rating:

All couples go through a sort of touching courtship when they first date. To get a sexual rapport going, you and your date need to understand each other.

'There are a whole load of signs that you watch out for when you first meet a man who you like,' says Judi James. 'You will make small touches on his arm or knee and wait for him to reciprocate and do something similar in return. '

Only once this has happened do you go through all the stages of building a sexual rapport. Of course, most people don't even know this is even happening. 'It's not something you should need to think about,' says Judi.

Stay in rhythm

In fact, it's only when the natural rhythm of how you touch each other changes that it stands out. Judi points out: 'If a man starts going too quickly, then it can set off alarm bells. This can often mean he's a little selfish and won't be as considerate as you'd like in bed.'

Then there are the men who hardly touch you at all during a date, but then give you a huge bear hug at the end of the evening. 'It just sends out all the wrong signals,' admits Judi. 'A bit of shyness can be attractive, but not too much. This sort of behaviour shows up how inexperienced a man is.'

And then there are the men who show no respect or awareness of you and your appearance. 'There's nothing more annoying than a man who hugs you a little too enthusiastically at the start of the evening and messes up your clothes,' says Judi. 'That and doing anything to your hair is a big no-no.'

What you want is someone who's loving and affectionate, without being too over-the-top!