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'I can't escape my horrible ex'

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Silhouette of a woman lifting finger to her lips
I'm not sure where to start really. My ex used to beat me very badly and when I was almost 18 I was raped. He beat me up for that happening and then forced me into going to the police.

Unfortunately, the police didn't find any evidence and my ex said I'd made it up and he thought I'd cheated on him.

It's been 4 long years since I went out with him and I'm now settled with 2 beautiful little boys, but I still can't escape him.

Recently he got in contact with me asking for forgiveness and suggested meeting up for a drink. I accepted his apology and my partner insisted on coming with me to meet him.

My ex totally went off on one when we saw each other, so I told him to stuff his apology and haven't had contact since.

The thing is all of my friends and family know what he did to me but they're still being nice to him when they see him. In fact, it seems that everyone around me is befriending him and I feel like I'm going crazy?!

Sometimes I still have flashbacks - I don't really open up too much to my new partner because I don't have a lot of confidence. This is because my ex was a total control freak.

I cheated on my partner just after we had our first son - I was still so messed up in my head, but I basically slapped myself back into reality, owned up to everything and he forgave me.

I know what I did wrong, but I still feel guilty, I think I may need help as I feel I have quite a few issues.

Why the hell does my ex deserve friendship or happiness after he repeatedly tried to kill me? Or is it just me? Am I dwelling on the past and need to move on? Please help me!
Anonymous

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the real jackfreezy

i dont know why im lookin at this site but i understand its hard for a woman to go through that. growing up i watched my mom go through 2 tough marriages and i learned that women need love directed at them and i really just wanna say i love all of you and please use good judgment and think "can he love me" not "will he love me". I know love so i can love. Gotta know what you gettin into

Nic

thanks :) im glad im not the only person who was in that situation.. it is hard, and the guy i had my 2 boys with, i ended up splitting up with him as he was violent and verbally abusive - and i was with him for jst over 5 yrs, but now he has my kids and is being a total idiot, telling me when i can see them etc.. im fuming, and the solicitors are taking forever.. sorry i wrote my name as anonymous on the actual topic.. ive found a new bf now, finally! and this one is a diamond.. he knows about my 2 kids, and how depressed ive been, and about what my ex used to be like, it's so nice to have someone to talk to, although i do have problems opening up.. but im glad you have moved on too :) sounds like we both need a bit of luck x

em

i can kind of relate,my ex was emotionally abusive to me, threatening to kill himself if i went out with mates. Telling me how he tried to kill himself because i went out, saying i was unable to cope. He used to follow me and read my texts. My family thinks the sun shines out of a certain place.my fun sed to me the other day "isn't it a shame u two split up" erm no. Im not afraid to leave the house any more (had to move out the house we shared to somewhere he didn't know) I've met someone else now and am dating him, which i don't think my mum likes.despite the fact im 23,live on my own and she doesn't know owt about him. My point is, ur right. Ur ex absolutely does not deserve friendship from ur family. Just think tho the biggest knock for ur ex is that u were strong enuff tomove on, have children and even b gracious enough to meet him to hear him out for an apology. Ur not dwelling on the past.

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