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'I can't escape my horrible ex'

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Silhouette of a woman lifting finger to her lips
I'm not sure where to start really. My ex used to beat me very badly and when I was almost 18 I was raped. He beat me up for that happening and then forced me into going to the police.

Unfortunately, the police didn't find any evidence and my ex said I'd made it up and he thought I'd cheated on him.

It's been 4 long years since I went out with him and I'm now settled with 2 beautiful little boys, but I still can't escape him.

Recently he got in contact with me asking for forgiveness and suggested meeting up for a drink. I accepted his apology and my partner insisted on coming with me to meet him.

My ex totally went off on one when we saw each other, so I told him to stuff his apology and haven't had contact since.

The thing is all of my friends and family know what he did to me but they're still being nice to him when they see him. In fact, it seems that everyone around me is befriending him and I feel like I'm going crazy?!

Sometimes I still have flashbacks - I don't really open up too much to my new partner because I don't have a lot of confidence. This is because my ex was a total control freak.

I cheated on my partner just after we had our first son - I was still so messed up in my head, but I basically slapped myself back into reality, owned up to everything and he forgave me.

I know what I did wrong, but I still feel guilty, I think I may need help as I feel I have quite a few issues.

Why the hell does my ex deserve friendship or happiness after he repeatedly tried to kill me? Or is it just me? Am I dwelling on the past and need to move on? Please help me!
Anonymous

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