How to perform Tantric sex
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The good news is Tantric sex isn't 'goal oriented', which means you don't have to work hard at learning what to do.
The trick is to take your mind off your orgasm and instead focus on making foreplay enjoyable and rewarding until you're ready to take it to its natural end.
This is easier said than done of course, so to delay orgasm Tantric sex experts use a variety of methods including meditative techniques, breath control and massage.
What to do
If you want to give it a go, try the following:
- Start by turning down the lights and shutting out the rest of the world
- Loosen your body: Tantra is about moving energy through the body, so expert Louise Van Der Velde suggests 'shaking your limbs vigorously to energise and unblock your system before you start'.
- Stay off the bed: This will trigger the sleep button in your brain, which, according to Louise 'means you'll be settling for a quickie romp instead of deep connection and loving sex, which is ultimately what Tantra is all about.'
- Get comfortable: Try lying down with your partner on the floor and slowly start to touch each other, taking your time to leisurely make your way around their body.
- Experiment: Try a variety of touches - firm massage, light feathery touches, and gentle stroking. The aim here is to heighten his senses in a slow and intense way so that you're building him to a peak but not taking him all the way and vice versa. Performed in the right way this can prolong sex and your pleasure for hours.
- Think about breathing: If you find your mind starts to wander, re-focus on your breathing. Inhale as your partner exhales and vice versa - it can help improve the connection between the two of you and keep your mind on what's happening.
- Don't give up: If you don't last beyond 10 minutes, try again. Tantric sex takes time to get to grips with because we're all used to sex in a western way - this means we expect sex to have an obvious start, middle and end.
With practice you can let go of this idea and enjoy sex without thinking about the conclusion as well as be able to control your body so you can delay climax and increase the strength of your orgasms.
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eL, 9 months
just read your short guide, not bad but isn't that just describing what good sex is anyway? as in, anyone who wants to have a good time would do things that way, plus it's natural, I was never taught but it was instinctual to do it that way...are people so stupid they need to be taught this? once you (boys) get the orgasm timing down your sorted!
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