'I'm addicted to online gambling'

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I'm a Nan in my fifties and should be looking forward to working fewer hours and having nothing to worry about. However, I've been gambling online for the past few years. It gets worse when I am depressed or my relationship hasn't been going well.

I have a period where I stop and get my money sorted out and then 'boom' I go on a bender and end up just deeper and deeper in debt. I probably owe about £15k now and my husband doesn't know as he is anti-gambling and very sensible with money. I can see it's related to not being happy and I miss that buzz (this is my second marriage) I had when we first met. We never seem to communicate any more or do anything together. Life is wrapped around the family and yet I feel alone.

Then the spiral happens again and I go out and spend all my money. I hate myself afterwards and to make myself feel better I will spend money on my credit cards on gifts for the family because it starts to sink in what I could have bought them if I hadn't frittered it all away.

Everytime I stopped using the sites they email me asking me why I have left! At first I would win but then would just carry on until I lost and had no access to any more funds. It has been embarrassing at times as the bank has contacted me to query the amount of online transactions and I have to admit, I was bloody stupid and spent loads.

Now I am having to work full time just to cover my debts and there will come a time that my husband will query what I am doing with the extra money we should have coming in. I'm sure he would leave me, as he made my life hell when he found out I had a loan he didn't know about. It's not the stopping I need help with, it's finding another way to fill my life so that I don't want to gamble.

It will take at least 4 years to pay off my debts and I have cut myself off from all the sites but that obviously won't solve the reason why I gambled in the first place. And I am scared that the depression I feel now will just get worse as I have financial worries. This then makes me irritable and miserable to be around.

I would love to be able to come clean but then I know I would end up by myself and my husband would tell my family and I couldn't cope with the shame. I'm not really expecting an answer, just want to warn others because everywhere I look on television there are online sites encouraging us to have a little flutter. That's fine, but too often the buzz it gives us makes it addictive and leads to financial stress which spills over into our personal lives.

What do you think about V's confession? Should she tell her husband or try and work it out herself? Have your say in the Comments section below...

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