'My husband's sending messages to other women'

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A woman upset looking at her phone
I think my husband was unfaithful and I can't forget about it

Three years ago while I went away with my son to visit the inlaws, I came back and found text messages that my husband had sent to another woman.

The one particular message that made me suspicious was one he sent saying he was thinking of her. It wasn't just this one woman he was sending messages to, he was sending Valentine's messages too.

When I confronted him, he told me he was having a hard time because of my depression and that I was pushing him away.

I know that he hasn't had any physical relationships but this still hurt me. He probably doesn't love me as much as I love him, although he tells me he does and can't live without me.

I don't know what to believe - please help.


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Well, I have a similar thing going on but it's someone who works with him sometimes. Also, we found out that my guy has adult ADHD. It sucks !! So he can't control his impulses and he started this thing up with a woman I actually know about. But I can't snoop He locks everything and hides everything. I only got lucky one night when he fell asleep after texting with her. I knew something was going on by his denials. He told me he stopped it, but I don't know. I just saw today that he has a secret file of photos she's sent to him. He closed it out fast, and he too far away for me to see much. I'm going out of my mind with grief. I'm trying everything I can think of to get him to open up more about this thing but he won't. So I feel he's still keeping it a big secret for himself ? I asked him to break it up in front of me so I could see him do it, but he didn't & won't. Says there's no sense in hurting me more ? Is he kidding ? I hate the secrecy in our relationship, and he won't talk about it. He skips over it when I bring it up. I don't know if your dealing with an ADHD guy or not. But it might be worth looking into. Not that it's going to help much, but it might ?


My husband left me for another woman. He had been seeing her for 3 years. I had no idea. Now he says it was the worst mistake he ever made and he wants to put our family right. He has returned home, I agreed to this because we have two children(6 8) and also I still love him. I wanted to make this work but every time I look at him I know I deserve better. A big part of my problem is the humiliation he has heaped on me. Everywhere I go I can see pity in the eyes of people that know what's happened. I know I want to end the relationship but I am worried that my children will suffer because I couldn't learn to deal with it, i saw Dr omo, on internet how he help people to handle there problem and i contact his email and explain every thing to Dr omo, i tell you after the casting of a love spell things turn around for good thank you once again Dr omo for helping my marriage.


Hi i have the same issues, i have been married for 21 years but been with my wife since 1985, the issue i am having is that a male friend who has just split from his long time relationship but he drives for me as i have many diabetic complications well to cut a long story, i have seen facebook messages, mainly the messages are as follows from this male, it says normal texting until the end part when he will finish off with Babe i love you but he will shorten it by b i l y xx, they say nothing is going on but i once found missing you babe i love you but in the form of letters, my wife speaks like that to all her friends women too, she calls all her friends hun or babe. I am getting very suspicious of this man, as stated he drives my disability car as i am no longer allowed to drive due to loss of sight, i am about to start dialysis and this heartache is not doing me any good, when i confront my wife about it it always ends in a argument with her saying she feels piggy in the middle, i love my wife very much but i cant stand this no longer. Any advice. cheers Djjenko

no one special

been married for almost 24 yrs.. not sure if we will make 25!! Same type of situation and im rather sick of it.. Facebook. old friend..had her over 1 ago.. he was all over her.. telling her how he feels etc... ya ya... and now again.. found a facebook msg telling her how much she means to him.. how he thinks of her all the time and wants to take her out for dinner... oh yeah and apologized for that evening making her feel uncomfortable.. lmaoo he never apologized to me for making me feel uncomfortable or asks me to go out for dinner so we can talk... my oldest son told me friday night he was all smiles and happy when they were talking.. I went out with his brother and wife. 1st time out in yearssss and think the hubby had more fun then me lmaooo.. he deleted the msg.. wish i had copied it!! Im dont know what to think.. feeling rather horrible at the moment.. any advice?? Am i being crazy???? wtg!!


I recently had a bad experience with this same issue. My husband is working out of state and we have had some issues but never anything to do with cheating. I had just gotten home from visiting him and having a great time when I noticed a message on his Facebook wall from some woman that he vaguely knew in junior high. He responded to her that he was living in California and was separated from his wife. I just about blew a gasket and posted a comment saying, " gee, I didnt know that we were separated". He apologized and said that he didnt mean to hurt my feelings. About a month later, I was paying our cell phone bill online and noticed two phone numbers with repeated texts back and forth at all hours of the night and day. I dont have text on my phone and my heart just dropped at the thought of him texting anyone so many times. I called the first phone number and some stupid woman claimed that they were "friends" and said that "he was texting her". I found out later that day that this broad is a drug addict and my husband doesnt even know what her last name is! I called the other number the next day and it turned out to be his Facebook friend from junior high! I left a message telling her that she was texting/calling a married man, despite the claim that he was "separated". I was devastated thinking about him talking intimately with these two women that he doesnt even know. He has cut off all communication with these women, in fact he texted the Facebook friend right in front of me and told her that he loves his wife and will not be talking to her any longer. I just cant seem to get this out of my head. I am so hurt. My husband has not told me what was said in the texts but has made comments such as " she wanted to take it to another level" or " maybe I should have called a sex phone line". I get this nagging feeling that if he had not been caught, maybe he would be engaged in a full blown sexual relationship with the drug addict. He seems to think that I should forgive him and let it go. Since being caught, my husband talked me into getting text on my phone and has bombarded me with sexy messages and proclamations of his love. This has been very exciting and I love him dearly but I cant seem to get the thought out of my head that he may have been saying the same sexual things to the two women. Please help. Any suggestions would be appreciated.


Mine is with a female colleague at work.Always helping her with her relationship issues but deleting all their text and call records.I reset his phone's text settings and discovered he calls her dear,priceless.Tells her he values her,she is the best,love u......... They on facebook together.Who knows how i can acces his facebook account to read the messages they exchange. He claims and acts like he still loves me but am hurt with these too closeness with her


Well my fiance of almost 2 years recently started working at the casino. Christmas night I found texte to some girl. I'm confronting him new years eve. He needs to be out


well i have had my partner of 17 yrs do this also. he done it 2yrs ago and was txting this girl for a year till i found out and in the texts he was trying to be someone else gave her false name nothing about me or our kids but i gave him another go more fool me as out of the blue i found out last week he was doing it again only this time it was to 2 girls at the same time and on a second fone that i new nothing about but when asked why he done this he said he was stupid and they mean nothing to him but i have since thrown him out of our family home and i'm picking up the pieces with our children cause i feel i'm been a fool long enough and he is not going to change no matter how much i hope and it's not fair so just be careful is all i would say


Do you know what!!! Once a cheat always a cheat!! If its by text, phone, facebook or whatever they are cheating. My ex boyfriend told me it was because I was pushing him away. Funny that. It always seems to be the womans fault!!


are u getting help with the depression.does he understand how u feel? it may be hard for him. i have bad moods when me and husband argued some quite violent but never got help with it. well a few months ago i found some texts on husbands phone to a girl he worked with. we have had a bad few months where we werent getting on. i questioned him, then he said he didnt love me anymore. he left me in the new year and since then i have found out he texted this girl all the time at the end of last year. and now i think he is seeing her. but keeping it a secret as we have an 1mth old. if he says he still loves u try and get the spark back in2 the relationship. good luck

Lisa Johnson

I'm just gonna say that I never respond to these things but I am now for some reason. I love my husband an he loves me but he has cheated on me numerous times. One of the ways I found out was text messages just like the ones you found. He has even had an ongoing relationship for like two years with a much younger girl that I work with. It hurt so much to find out these things and I guess the only reason I am saying this is as a warning to you. I will never forgive my husband fully but I might be able to let it go and we will see if he can change, who knows. Just keep your eyes open and protect yourself cause my experience has been that no one else will do that for you. Good luck and I hope things work out for you.


I feel your hurt, I had a similar experience with my partner on the computer. He had just joined facebook and was getting back in touch with some old school friends, one happened to be an old school girlfriend. He had talked before about this girl so when I questioned was this the same girl as in his stories he denied it and made up a name of someone that I was getting confused with..this made me suspicious and I started snooping, to my horror I found him giving his mobile number to her and telling her in one message that she still looked hot and to stay sexy. This may seem stupid to others and nothing, but you instantly think "affair". I found out it was not the affair I was thinking it to be and he stopped all contact and confessed it was stupid and just reminiscing on old times, but I agree that sometimes its the words more than the physical actions that can hurt the most. I still have certain trust issues and this was almost 1 year ago, and to be honest I still snoop, I dont find anything, but it allows me some assurance other than him just saying he is not doing anything. I cant say how long this will last for you, as you can see I still am yet to fully let it go, but if you love him and want for the relationship to continue I have found this to work. I dont know if he knows I still am checking up on him as we dont talk about it - its not worth the argument - but peace of mind will eventually relieve the heart and bring the trust long as there are no more messages. Good luck!!

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