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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. For the first 2-3 months, we had sex about four times a day. We did many exploratory and 'dirty' things together and he's the only man I've had an orgasm with.

But, in the last two months he's gained about twenty pounds and no matter what I cook to make him lose weight, he can't and when I try and initiate sex he just says he doesn't feel in the mood. I know it's because he's unhappy with his size but he won't do anything about it.

I want him to exercise but he won't get a gym membership, even after I suggested that we'd share it. I'm at my wits end. I need sex. I need him. He's been drinking more lately and I think that's why we can't lose the weight but I don't want to tell him to stop hanging out with his friends. I love him! I've even talked to him about this but he just shrugs it off.

I'm getting desperate but I can't talk to anyone else about it because I'm too embarrassed. How can I get him to act?

'Cookie'

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Kraelae

It's not shallow to admit your man is no longer physically attractive to you. As he isn't making effort, that's where the problem comes in. He refuses to try to appeal to you. But, that is a lot of weight. Perhaps something is medically wrong? And maybe that something is also causing decreased sex drive?

Maz

Thats the most ridiculous suggestion. Why would she just insult the man she loves. You horrible woman.

Maz

Did you even read the story.. She isn't put off by him..the weight is having a negative impact on his sex drive. Not hers. I suggest you read before you just insult her..

Tiny

well if i was you i would expaln how i feel and tell him that you feel that you need him more than ever and that what he is doing is making you unhappy and blatenly is doing the same to him. he doesnt want to go to the gym so bring the gym to him. tell him if he loses 5 pounds in 4 weeks that you reward him in a way he has never been before. that should give him a motivation. good luck x

more than

hi, i have the same with my husbend, but he says he dont want to make sex at all, he alweys feels tired and hardly go to work, cant sleep well and alot of many things am trying to make him have diet but he alweys delay it, really i dont know know wht to do

Davina

Maybe the poor guy has erectile dysfunction and can't bring himself to talk about it and so pretends he is not in the mood. More support and understanding is needed hereor the poor bloke will have no motive to try and increase his fitness levels again through exercise and weight loss.

darren

Your love life isn't the problem. You need to identify why your partner has gained weight and started drinking more as I believe this is the issue.

cici

i totally understand what u're going thru... i had the same problem too... then we talked about it and the sex is even better, those who never had this kinda problem might think that we are selfish, but we are not.... we just want them to be in better shape for their own benefit, healthier, and we are not talking because the sex is not good, its just that its not as interesting as before because they get tired easily..... maybe u should try again, this time suggest what u have in mind the next time u guys gonna be "in action".... maybe it'll make him eager to start loosing weight..... good luck....

Bob faggot

I think that you should tell him how his fat issue makes you feel. You should also drop subtle hints like........" i went shopping for shirts for you but nowhere in town has your size!!" or "What do you think to a kingsize bed?!?" or how about changing the scales so it shows that hes 30 stone when hes 20? Now THAT will make him think......Or you could just put him on a treadmill with a donut hanging in front.?! You never no.

furrysausage

if all u want is sex, then go and get it elsewhere! if u love him then tell him that! and tell him all the reasons why. don't put pressure on him to change - he is the only person who can do that. if he loves u too, he will do everything it takes to make u happy and encourage him all the way with posotive thoughts. feeling good about yourself comes with being loved and you guys had it once so you know it's achievable. good luck!

strongal

Girlfriend dont you ever mention weight issue with him, ive been married for 15 years and my man is 7xl and we still have the best sex ever, karma sutra styles so, go with the flow, he drinks then make your move, he sleeps make your move, galfriend the more u move the more he loses the weight by having the sex

guest

talk to him about it, how you feel and tell him that u care about him and would always be there to support his efforts. The more u dont talk abt it, it could really affect your relationship and in the end turn bitter.

bikerchick

How shallow is this woman???!!! I have been with my fiance for almost 2 years and he is rather robust but that does not have a negative affect on our sex life. He is he most amazing, attentive lover that i have ever had. Sure, he has issues with his weight but i would never tell him to diet, he makes his own descisions in life and i love and support him in any way i can and listen to his fears. If you're going to let something as trivial as a few extra pounds get in the way of a loving relationship you need to be with someone who is as narrow minded as you, you would be well suited!!!

Thomas Monaghan

This lady needs to look in a mirror, this man is taking her for granted, love or no love for him the lady must inform him to "Shape up, or Shift out" stop wasting her life.

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