'My daughter's the product of my affair'
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A couple of years ago I got in contact with an old flame. We were both married at the time although my marriage ended shortly after meeting up with him again.
His marriage was very unhappy and he was there for his children as they meant everything to him. We fell in love with each other which wasn't expected and we made each other very happy. Even though we were guilt ridden we couldn't stop our affair, but I didn't want him to leave his family to be with me.
Eventually we were caught. He told his wife he didn't love her but would stay to be with the kids. His wife said she still loved him and wanted him to stay for her as well, and in order for him to stay in his home she said he had to break off all contact with me.
While all this was going on, I found out that I was pregnant with his child. He said he would support me whatever I chose to do and as I don't believe in abortion I decided to continue with the pregnancy and have the baby.
However, he didn't live up to his promise. He told his wife that I was pregnant and then I never heard from him again! I contacted him when our daughter was born and he told me he was trying to rebuild his family and wasn't allowed any contact with me or the baby. He said that he didn't want the baby spoiling things, and it was my decision to go ahead with the pregnancy and now I have to deal with it.
He said he realised too late he could have lost everything that was important to him and he 'couldn't risk this wrecking his life'. I have left the door open for him to have contact with his daughter in the future although I know he'll never be allowed while he's married to his wife. I feel like I have a responsibility to my daughter to sort out this mess. What should I do? Please help.
Jenny, 40, Wales
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JENNY, 12 months
i WOULD LIKE TO FOLLOW ON FROM MY STORY TO LET YOU ALL KNOW OF A WONDERFUL OUTCOME. My daughter is now 2 years old and 6 months ago i met a wonderful man who has just proposed to me and i accepted,he treats my daughter like a princess and she calls him Daddy which is lovely to hear .My fiance has a son that lives with his mother and adores his "new" little sister.I am so happy and just wanted to share my good news as every cloud has a silver lining. Jenny 40,Wales
Report this commentchelle, about 1 year
as jan has said, you are better off without him. it sounds as though he had his bit of fun, but when it got too hot, he waned to play happy families again. i really feel for you. you were in a horrible situation, but had the word that you would be supported and then it crumbled when you needed supporting the most. he is a coward who dosnt want to take risk and deal with he consequinces. you have and that makes you a much stronger person than he could ever dream to be. in the end you should be glowing, you have a gorgeous little girl. he os the loser in all this, stay strong, and all the bet for your future
Report this commentjan stevenson, about 1 year
I am amazed as i am in exactly the same situstion with a daughter from an affair ,my baby is 10 months old and i presume yours is over one as you say this happened a couple of years ago,my situation is identical with exactly the same comments my ex made to me,i think there must be so many in the exact position as we are and if truth be known i think we are better off without these men in our childrens life, sit back and watch his world crumble like my ex,s did Jan age 45 from Kent 11/11/08
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louise, 4 months
maybe if youd both stayed faithful to your spouses in the first place then this would not have happened- he is right to go back to his family and unfortunately you are left to explain to your daughter your affair with a married man- good luck with that! I do wish you the best x
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