Cheating, fighting and planning the future
4. You fight constantly
'Knowing how to argue properly and resolve problems is essential for any relationship to survive, but it takes two of you to make it work,' says Paula. 'If he's willing to work at it then there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to find a solution, but if he won't even try then there's no way you'll resolve the problem alone. On the positive side, fighting means you still care.'
Is it over?
No, you've still got a good chance of sorting things out - as long as your partner is willing to sort things out too
5. You think he's cheating
Many people would say that trust is the most important thing in a relationship and when that's gone the relationship is over. But Paula says, 'First of all ask yourself why you're suspicious? Is this about your insecurity or has he breached your trust before? If it's the latter then you may have good reason to be worried, but if it's the former than you need to work on ways that he can reassure you. Again, this will take the co-operation of both of you,' says Paula. Do you know the signs that he's cheating? Or are you the one who's having an affair
Is it over?
Possibly. Some couples manage to get back to where they started after an affair, but for many once the trust has gone the relationship has too. Get professional advice from
6. Neither of you want to make future plans
If the thought of spending more time with your partner than necessary fills you with dread then the relationship is on unsteady ground. 'This is not a good sign at all,' says Paula. 'If neither of you can rise above your current disagreements to see a future together then maybe you don't have one,' says Paula
Is it time to split?
Is it over?
It's probably time to call it a day. If you've tried to get over your struggles but you still don't enjoy each other's company then it's time to find a new life where you can both be happy.
By Louise O'Connell
Average rating:
Where to next?
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Dating after divorce
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Divorce - choosing a divorce lawyer
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Divorce - what happens next?
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How to survive a break-up
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How to survive a break-up: One month on
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How to survive a break-up: Six months on
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How to survive a break-up: Three months on
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How to survive a break-up: Two months on
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8 rules of arguing in a relationship
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Arguing: Don't name call and keep to the point
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Domestic violence
Please leave a comment, tip or story in the box below
baba, 5 months
we have the most beautifull bond we love each other so much but at the end of it we always argue ,he says its always me i promise him something and dont live up to it ,iv been 100% faithfull throughout the whole 5months we have been together,he has insercurities but i assure him that he is the only one for me but it always boils down to the promise issue for example he is about to go on trip for work and i say im going to wake up with him and i oversleep he relaps and goes back to the same issue i love him so much my heart is becoming so weak ,i dont no what to do i try so hard to keep us alive but i need another persons advice to improve from my side?
Report this commentmarie, 9 months
i love my husband very much and i love being with him but we do nothing but argue over the children i personally dont have any children off my own there his children but they play us off against one an other and its not like there babies any more there teenagers all left school, they lie to there dad saying i have been nasty when i havent and he wont talk to me he believes them straight away and has a big go at me even though i say i havnt done any thing they are very spoilt and get there own way all the time they speak to us both with disrespect and he just lets them do it i mentioned they should be out earning there own money and it just turns in to an arguement. ive had to put up with them stealing off me and having total disrespect for the home we live in they dont help around the house and when you ask them nicely to help its attitude all the time, we do every thing for the children and never have time to our self as a couple i really dont know what to do i love him so much but i dont know what the future holds any more hes a really good dad but i think hes scared if he doesnt give the children what they want they will leave has he has one child who comes back gets what she wants causes trouble then leaves then comes back again what do i do please help
Report this commentemily, 9 months
me and my partner argue almost every day. he says im sketchy and doesnt beleive much i say. when we are not argueing we have the most amazing times together.. we make each other laugh... we go out.. we have wonderful chats.. but he just doesnt trust me. it hurts so much as i have been more than 100% faithful to him and it just seems to be pointless if im constantly getting accused of hiding something from him. i am also a very paranoid person but i hate to argue with him and its really getting me down. we are deeply in love with each other but its just so hard .
Report this commentDee beck, 11 months
hi iv been seeing this realy nice guy , but he lost his wife 3 years this christmas , he was seeing someone befor me, but it didnot work out between them ,,when we meet he told me he loved her but was not in love? i said that he needed to sort out wat he wonted in life? over the next 3 mounths we chatted ,then he said he had finished with her? so we strated to se each other, over the few weeks of knowing him his ex keeped ringing an comin to see him ,but he said that they were trying to sort out things? so i let him ,, its been 11 months now and we have been on off on off ? becuse he is confused ? i under stand that he has lots his love of his life ,, but why do i feel sick . he has told me he loves me but i feel he only says the word ,, if you no wat i mean,his ex keeps texting me,i never retalated but UNTILL NOW WOT DO I DO NOW
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Thembi, 3 months
I would say when you dont feel the love or if you feel the cold air that should be your queue to leave i personally believe that love doesnt have to hurt and if it does then it is not it. I was once in a relationship where the guy told me he loved me but emotionally abused me, it was painful to be with him but what kept me going was the fact that he told me he loved me then i had to ask myself a question if he love me so much why do i feel the pain i'm feeling and if love hurt this much i dont want to be love in my life. For others communication works but i would say you can do it but if it does work dont try to fix something that is not worth fixing. I dont want to sound mean or anything but i believe everybody deserves the best so why do you have to settle for anything less, if you set your standards do see a need for you to go below your set standards, with me its all or nothing.
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