Domestic abuse, boredom and friends and family

Average rating:

7. You're bored and he's unresponsive.

You've tried really hard to inject some fun, passion and common interests into the relationship but he's shown no interest at all.
This might not be the end, it might just be a case of adjusting to your expectations. But communication is the key. 'It may be that the relationship is good enough for him, but not good enough for you,' says Paula. Unfortunately many couples discover that they don't share the same view of what a relationship should be. Having high expectations is not the problem, it's not sharing the same expectations that's the killer.'

Is it over?
Maybe. You need to think about what you want from a relationship, if you're expectations are realistic and if your partner can give you what you want.

8. Your friends are starting to talk

Friends and family have noticed that you're always miserable - and they tend to notice the signs before you do because they have a different perspective. Paula says, 'If you're miserable, you've got to do something. That may be getting help as a couple, or help alone to make that final decision about the future of your relationship.'

Is it over?
Possibly. You might just be going through a rough patch or you could be depressed. Whatever you think the reason is you need to think about yourself first and your relationship last.

9. He or she has become physically, emotionally or mentally abusive

There is never an excuse for abuse of any kind, whether it's bullying, teasing, physical or emotional.

'You should never feel abused in a relationship, no matter how tense things might be. If he deliberately wants to hurt you then it's time to get out,' says Paula.

Is it over?
Yes. You must leave and think of yourself. Read our guide to leaving an abusive relationship.

10. You've changed your behaviour, beliefs and appearance

We all change a bit in a relationship and start to enjoy each others interests. And everyone needs to compromise when you're in a relationship but it might be go too far if you're changing in the hope that this will change your relationship for the better. You could be overcompensating for other problems or lack of compatibility.
Paula says, 'If you're making all the changes then you've got to consider what the cost is to you as an individual. Of course you have to make an effort to make a relationship work and of course it's ok to make compromises and try to do things to make your partner happy. But there reaches a point where to change any more will mean losing yourself, and that's far, far too high a price to pay.'

Is is over?
No, maybe you just need to find yourself again and assert yourself. Spend more time with your friends and family without your partner, maybe join a club or start a new hobby on your own.
However, if your partner has become controlling or they don't like you having your own interests then you need to think about whether you want to be in a relationship like this.

By Louise O'Connell