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How to break up

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It's never easy to break up and you might feel like you've failed but you haven't. If you've done all you can then you need to take control and look after yourself.
Don't do it on your own, get support from a friend, family member or a relationship counsellor.

Make a list of pros and cons about the relationship. Then make a list of pros and cons about breaking up. This will help you to be objective and see the facts. If you feel comfortable share these lists with a friend or counsellor, they can help you discuss the list and see things more clearly. A relationship should add to your quality of life and give you something positive.

Have a plan of how you're going to get through the break-up and remember everyone is different. If you share a house or flat plan where you're going to stay. If you have children then of course you have to consider their welfare and health.

Think about activities that could help you feel good again, such as a course or club, a new hobby or a work project. Maybe you want to change your image, lose weight, start exercising or even just get a new hair cut?

Read Paula's new book How to Have a Healthy Divorce

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By Louise O'Connell

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