Sexplanations: 'I'm tempted to cheat'

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Every week we partner with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.

The problem

A male colleague gave me a lift recently and we ended up having a sexual encounter in his car. I'm married but sex has become boring and I found this so exciting. I'm not a bad person, but I want to have an affair with him and stay married. Is this possible?

The solution

Well, it may be. But it's likely the whole thing will end in tears, torment and trauma. You experienced huge excitement with your colleague but think what you stand to lose if you take it further. You say you're not a 'bad person' and I believe you.

Lots of affairs are conducted by nice people but things don't stay nice. Imagine what would happen if your husband, who I imagine adores you, found out that you'd cheated? Are you prepared for the hurt and the possibility that he might never trust you again? Or for the chance that he might leave you?

What women crave most is to be truly loved. I can assure you that it's far easier to train a loving man to have good sex with you than it is to train a sexy lover to adore you warts and all. So I reckon you should put some passion back into your marriage. How? By having lots of sex with your husband.

Some scientists claim that when we make love, we raise our levels of a hormone called oxytocin. This increases our sense of bonding with our mate. So get bonding!
It takes two to make a sex life boring. So have a chat with your husband about what would turn you both on. Buy some lingerie and sex toys to put the spice back in your marriage, try new positions and make time for each other.

- There's more advice from Christine in this week's bigger better WOMAN, on sale every Tuesday.

- Is your relationship in need of some sexual healing? Email your problem to Christine on sexplanations@ipcmedia.com or to us on goodtoknow

By Charlotte Gunn

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b, 11 months

"I'm not a bad person, but I want to have an affair " Isn't this a bit of a contradiction. if you cheat or have an affair, you are a bad person. there's no grey area on this.

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Louise, 12 months

I agree, this is a sure way of spicing things up. There are some great costumes available/sex toys, I bought the corrup cop from www.angelssecret.co.uk. It spiced things up for my love life.

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Squirt, 12 months

You could cheat and risk the loss of your relationship, or you can hang on to what you've got! Why not spice things up with a sex toy or lingerie? Surprise your man with a sexy striptease or try some role-playing. Make a reservation at a cheap hotel and play "prostitute and john" to really blow his mind. There's a million ways to go.

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