'I can't stand his family!'
I've been with my husband for 4 years and we've got 2 children. His side of the family has always been difficult but recently they've got a lot worse.
We gave his sister our old telly because his mum had given us her one. The TV his mum gave us was faulty from the moment we got it and then 3 weeks ago it stopped working altogether. We phoned his sister to try and get our old one back because she has about 4 and she just started shouting at me!
Then his mum came on the phone and despite usually being friendly with me she started calling me names. My husband stuck up for me and she ended up having a go at him, trying to make him choose between me or them. He said he would always choose me.
His mum came round the next day and while I was getting ready in the bathroom I could hear her talking downstairs in front of my 3-year-old and saying I had an attitude problem.
Since then I've had my husband's sister phoning up yelling at me and blaming me for everything, saying I've changed her brother. On top of this my nan has only got days to live which is really upsetting me.
I just don't know how to cope with this any more. My 3-year-old is copying the nasty things her nan is saying and my 4-month-old is picking up the bad mood in the house. This isn't the first time it has happened either. It's such a relief to finally talk about this. What should I do to stop it affecting us all?
Kelly
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By Charlotte Gunn
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Jane, 11 months
Hold on to your sanity and your husband is doing the right thing. The purpose of family is for support not war and until that changes limit your contact with them. As log as you and your husband have to be ok, then your children will be ok. Ignore everything else and talk about what is going on with a friend who is not involved.
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Nicole, 10 months
First of all, both of them are being complete b****es! I've had some problems with my fiance's family, but nothing like this! You and your husband are doing everything right, from what your saying. Since moving to another country and disabling all contact from them is out of the question you might want to talk rationally with them (away from the kids!!!). Tell them exactly how you feel, but be polite about it. Shouting and yelling only ruins people's opinions about each other and makes one hell of a bad mood (i've learned from experience with family friends). If they don't want to act reasonably then just calmly say something like, "It's settled then, if you won't behave around my children and treat me with the respect that I deserve, then I don't want you calling or coming over to my house unannounced." after that i would screen your calls and lock your doors even when your home. Make sure you have a key made for you and your husband and when your kids become old enough give them a key too. By that time they won't question why you lock the doors, it will just become habit.
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