Sexplanations: 'I never orgasm during sex'
Every week we partner with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.
The problem
I've tried, but I can't seem to have an orgasm during normal sex, although I can come fairly easily if my husband uses his hands or his mouth on me. I'd love to climax when we have intercourse - it would enrich the experience for us both. Is there anything I can do to make it happen?
The solution
Many women do find it hard to come during intercourse - unless they or their partner are in a position to stimulate their clitoris during sex.
You can achieve this in the 'spoons' position, where the couple lie on their sides with the man behind his partner. Either the man or the woman can then stimulate the clitoris.
This works well for most of us, because the clitoris is getting loads of attention. It's the part of us that would have grown into a penis, had we developed into boys instead of girls. And it's our major source of sensation and satisfaction.
During straightforward intercourse, it doesn't get stimulated much, if at all - which is why we need hands!
However, there's a position that can deliver orgasms for women who don't usually come during intercourse. It's the Coital Alignment Technique, or CAT, whereby the root of the penis is pressed hard against the top of the vaginal opening and the clitoris.
Get into the missionary position, then your partner should move up your body by about 6in. In many couples, the guy's chin ends up level with the woman's eyebrows. He'll enter you from a higher angle than normal, and the base of his penis will stimulate your clitoris.
He won't be able to thrust deeply, so you'll rock or rub together. It's very intimate, quite different from most other positions. And it also delivers a whacking great climax for some women. Try it!
- Read more sex advice from Christine Webber
- There's more advice from Christine in this week's bigger better WOMAN, on sale every Tuesday.
- Is your relationship in need of some sexual healing? Email your problem to Christine on sexplanations@ipcmedia.com or to us on goodtoknow
By Charlotte Gunn
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