'I can't get over childhood abuse'

(6 ratings)
Woman upset with hands on head
This goodtoknow user was abused by her parents when she was younger, and is still struggling to rebuild her life. Now her father is spreading lies about her. What do you think she should do?

My childhood was full of violence and abuse, my father would treat me like a piece of meat and my mother often left me on my own. I never had proper love and attention and I would starve myself and hope that someone would notice, but no one ever did.

One Christmas they gave me a pencil for a present but gave my sister a typewriter. I remember I was so upset that I went out and snapped my pencil in half.

Just when I thought that I was trapped for life I met Roger, who eventually became my husband. From the first moment my parents put pressure on me to finish with him, but I'm glad I didn't because he's the only person who's ever showed me love.

When I got pregnant with our first child, Emma, my father was so angry. I was still living at home and one day Roger came over to my parents house and they told him that he wouldn't be allowed to see Emma when she was born.

That's when Roger got me out of their home and we got a place to live. My parents became so vile to me that I eventually broke all ties with them.

As a result of this I am unable to go anywhere without my husband and I can't answer the phone or the door. Roger has had to be a carer to me as I will not do anything without him or go anywhere alone.

I was just about getting my life in order when my father told me that my mother was dying. I agonised about whether to go and see her, and plucked up the courage to go to the hospital. But when I arrived my sister told me to go away as my mother didn't want to see me. I left the hospital in floods of tears.

My father is now spreading around that he doesn't know what he has done to deserve the treatment I am giving him, and I'm desperate to put the record straight.


What do you think about this secret? What can she do to get over the abuse and stop her father telling lies about her?

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i would just forget about them. you haver tried to go and see your mom even after the abuse you suffered and i think you should accept that you tried and concentrate on your own family. good luck


unfortunatly child abuse memories will always be there but you can either beat yourself up about the decision you made or move on. yes its easier said than done but so are a lot of things. When i was younger i had to leave my home and go an live with another member of my family because of the constant lonliness and feeling alienated by my family. I was hit, tormented and put down and i did what your doing now blaming yourself. It aint your fault and you made the right the decision at the right time for you just like me. keep telling your self that. as for the lies they will go away.


My significant other is in a similar position. She's a failure in both of her parents' eyes, one being a physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive father, and the other a neglectful never-before-employed epileptic mother. It's hard, watching her take care of her mother who just had a seizure while the epileptic just says hurtful things to her until her father gets home and screams at her for things she either can't control or are not her responsibility. I have never heard either of them ever express feelings of love or affection for her. And I hope I do not assume to much if I say that this puts me in similar league with your husband when it comes to loving her and supporting her. But I have learned that eventually you have to drop all titles with people and look at them for who they are through an unbiased observer's eyes. Don't call t hem "Mom" and "Dad" or their equivilent. Look at their actions. Look at their words. Look at their intentions, and their motives. Look at their true virtues. I know it sounds cynical, and I know it doesn't work for all of the people all of the time, but you have to honestly ask yourself if those people are worth being tied to or worrying about. Perhaps you can make peace with them and that would be the best scenario, but it's possible that you may not be able to, and you will have to accept that if it is the reality. I know this was somewhat legthy, and I don't know if this helped you or even comforted you to read, but I hope the best for you, whoever you may be. With Love and Peace, Tony

Karen Brooks

All abuse is bad unfortunate widely common. When I was a child too I was also abused in all ways. Though when there were good time there few of those. Never till we were adults and on our own did my parents separate. As an Adult I suffer for many kinds of depression and more. Most commoned is PTS. Hard enough to exsplain is why I have it. Of corse I have been through so much therpy a therpest himself asked me to become a counselor for his clinic. I turned it down cause counceling someone with same things dont always help. You can not go through life tho trying to make the abuser face what they did cause that is what learned I could not do in the 20 years of counceling. No more then you can make yourself for get. The best I find that helps being a fellow servivor is that You get up and live that day as if you were glad to be there. Sometime it is a good day sometimes not so good. I just know that It was and did happen so that I can live with it dose not matter that they will denie it or who beleive you. If he loves you your partner will and that is all that matters really. Be strong for you cause if you dont face them then they win and you dont want that. I am stronger to know they cant hurt me anymore and not in the position to do so. If they cant let you be strong then they are weaker for it. That is my idea of it. I have bearly a relationship with all my abusers cause I feel that I have to prove I am strong too. The thrive I feel sometimes when I fail. So I work hard to smile and be nice and show them I am stronger. I find Abuser dont like that. I meet other Abuser and find that to be true, they dont like to be stood up too. It disables them, I promissed myself that I would not let anyone else abuse me. I have at least for the part done so. I hope this helps......


i was abused as a kid, but when i had my kids i was determined not to allow my dad to ruin the rest of my life. it was never easy. you have a child hat you should be able to enjoy. have you been to see your GP if not then this maybe a good idea they will be really helpful. you should not have to live in fear in your own home. i know its hard but try to ignore the rumours,and try concentrating on your own life. take care x

Sasha Dell

At young age i was raped by my father, i never told anyone, when i got older to understand what was going on, i began self-harming. when my father left my mother for our babysitter, she turned to drink and drugs. she would hit us and play loud music at night. so when i got older i turned also to Class-A drugs and nowi cannot stop self harming, and i crave the drugs more than ever my life is a mess what can i do?

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