Sexplanations: 'He's hooked on internet porn'

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Every week we partner with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.

The problem

I met my man on the internet and we've lived together for three months. But we've only had sex twice, and he treats me like a housekeeper. He's always on his computer, and when I checked the sites he visits, I found out they were all porn. Is this why we don't have sex?

The solution

I'm afraid it's likely that this guy gets all his kicks from internet porn, and views you as the person who'll shop, clean and put food on the table. Is this what you want? I doubt it. It sounds to me like you wanted a loving, romantic relationship - with sex as part of the package.

So, is there any hope that things will improve? It doesn't look good. He's made no effort to woo you, in bed or out of it. Some guys who are heavily into porn do at least romance their partners for a while before going back to cybersex, but this bloke hasn't even done that.

He may be addicted to internet porn, and he won't stop unless he decides he really wants to. Is this likely? Well, you won't know unless you ask him.

So talk to him about the lack of sex and romance in your life, and the fact that you believe he's getting his kicks on the web. If he apologises, or bursts into tears, or begs you to help him, there's hope.

He could start by getting his GP to refer him to see an NHS psychosexual specialist, though there's likely to be quite a waiting list. Or he could go to Relate, either with you or on his own. Their counsellors see couples in this situation all the time. He could also contact Sexaholics Anonymous on 07000 725463.

If he shows no remorse, and doesn't want to change his ways, you should ask yourself if this relationship is good enough for you. And I suspect that the answer will be no.

- There's more advice in this week's bigger better WOMAN, on sale every Tuesday.

- Is your relationship in need of some sexual healing? Email your problem to Christine on sexplanations@ipcmedia.com or to us on goodtoknow

By Katie McPhilimy

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