Search

'My mum loves my bad boy'

(11 ratings)
A woman suffering from domestic violence
I've been in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend for almost four years now. We met in a bar one night when I was celebrating my birthday with my mum. She knew him from years ago and said he was a really great guy and so she introduced us. We hit it off brilliantly, we had loads in common and he made me laugh all the time. Four years later we have beautiful twin girls, and have a decent flat. The only problem is he's got a reputation of being a bit of a bad boy.

Before we got together he went to prison for starting a fire in his best mate's shop (who totally betrayed him by flirting with his sister and stuff), but he told me it was in the past and I never judge people on what they have done in the past. We all have regrets right? Anyway last year he had some terrible news, his great grandfather died in a motorbike crash and two weeks later his private animal executing business got shut down by the RSPCA. He hasn't been the same since and six months ago he turned to drugs and started using crack.

He became violent with me and our home life suffered. I feared for the safety of myself and my children so moved back in with my mum and told her everything. Then she told me that she had not been completely honest about how she knew my boyfriend. She admitted to dating him for two years when I was too young to remember. She then broke down in tears and told me she miscarried his child 13 years ago. Upon hearing the news he beat her and eventually ran out on her.

She confessed to still having feelings for him and I told her that I still love him too - but how can I go back to him in such circumstances? I told him that if he gave up the drugs and got a job, that I would move back in with him and re-build our family, but have I made the right decision? And what about my mum, can I trust her around him knowing she still has feelings for him? Please help!

Susie

What do you think about Susie's situation? Should she go back to him? Can she trust her mum? Share your advice in the comments below

Continued below...


Where to next?
- Share your secrets with us
- Read more secrets
- Relationship advice

Your rating

Average rating

  • 3
(11 ratings)

Your comments

Aleks&Jess

Well we think that... i wouldnt go back with him because he beat you up darling and think about the children and your mum imagine if they saw him do that you. And you never know your mum could do soemthing with him behind your back because some people will do anything for love!! xx i now you'll make the right decision thoughh hunn :)

yasien

i think you should have ASKED YOUR MUM ABOUT THIS MAN BEFORE U START SEEING HIM FULL TIME HOW YOU KNOW AND FROM WHAT I HAVE HEARD ONCE IF A MAN BEEN VIOLNT TO A WOMAN HE WILL NEVER STOP IT WILL BE CONSTANTLY U WILL HAVE TO EXPECT THAT ANY DAY. ITS YOUR DECISION I AM A MAN I HAVE BEEN BROUGHT UP NOT TOUCH A HAIR OF A WOMAN EVEN IF HITS YOU.

jazzii

Darling don't go back to him. He needs help and the only wayhe'll get it is if you show him what lifes like without you and your girls. i know it sounds nasty but he needs tolearn that he can;r behave like this around anyone, especially not his children. i think your mother should have used her head and not introduced you in the first place because you wouldn't be in this mess if she hadn't or she should at least have told you the truth about her and him to start with. i seriously advise you not to go back to him. He's violent and has a history with your mother. this is never a good mix. Good luck in whatever you decide x

Shark

Dear, you have 3 problems, first: his past with your mother second: building your boyfriend life again togather. Third: can you rais your twin by yourself. for the first one: You will never be able to stand this situation especially when you all togather. so either stop you relation with your mother for ever, which is impossible, or forget all about this guy and move on in your life. Second: building his life again: if you accept the first advise, then u have to care about him only as a father of your twin. but also this guy has bad past with your mother ( as a fathe and a partner). So you have to decide and put limit to your help to him. third: If you have the economical and the social power to rais your own twin then the only thing left is your feelings. for me, feelings are important, but not if they will cause problems for me and my childs. Conclusion: leave this guy, forget everything about him as a partner, you may keep him as a friend and of course father of your twin. p.s. I don't know how this kind of relationship build from the begining, may be as a MUSLIM, I can't imagin such thing. But I did my best to write the answer away from my feelings of these kind of relationships.

Jenny

Sweetheart, that's rough. Re-read your story and think about what you would advise a friend to do. I would be surprised if you thought that going back to him makes a bit of sense.

comments powered by Disqus

FREE Newsletter

Subscribe to Essentials

Subscribe from only 21.99