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'Will my long distance relationship work?'

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Long distance relationships
Our reader has a problem. He wants to stay with his girlfriend but is scared their lives will take them in different directions. His question is how can their love stay the distance?

I'm only 17 but I've been in a relationship for two years now. I know that I want this relationship to last much longer, although there is a slight problem.

My girlfriend and I have very different career ideas, and both require us to leave home to different places. She will go to Edinburgh, and I want to go to America. I'm trying to convince her that we can keep our relationship alive even if it is long distance.

She says that it's impossible, that we'll both be unhappy and insecure about being alone so far apart. I think if we try hard enough we can make it work.
I really want to be with her, any advice on how to deal with it?

Anonymous, Scotland.

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Give your advice on long distance relationships in the comments below

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Jim

It's not going to work with the distance thing I'm afraid. And you are both still so young. You might think you are in love like how a few years ago you were in love with Britney Spears! But seriously you don't love her so go out with your mates, sleep around for a while and hey presto! You'll have forgotten all about her!

Angel

i myself is having long distances relationship my advice to you is as long as you both love each other long distance relationship can work... patience, trust and honesty u both need to wait...if u really want each other for the rest of your life i know its hard to trust someone especially when he/she is far theres time that you will feel so doubt but you have too trust is a big deal in long distance relationship and dont forget to be honest with him/her thats all you need in long distance relationship remember if she really love you no matter how far and how long it will takes for u both to be apart she will hold on.. she will fight for what you both have like i did to us... yea its pretty hard with all this boy liking me i did made a big mistake and he still forgive long distance is a piece of cake especially when u both willing to face it through u can do what i did.. thats why our relationship is strong just hold on,never lose some hope and be strong to every consequences well goodluck to it i know you can make it through....ur a man be strong ^_^

Cheryl

Heyy im only 16 and im in a long distance relationship with my 17 year old boyfriend for about 1 year and he lives like 6 hours away, we speak on the phone everyday and on msn and we have cam so i still get to see him, we have only met once as he came down via train. we are hoping to see eachother again soon. we have a lot of trouble sometimess but we make the most of it becuase we really love eachother and we are both faithful and we trust eachother to the max :)

Hays

I've been into a long distance relationship. We're so much far from each other, he's from auckland and i'm from malaysia. I know it's hard for us to travel to other country. But i did travel to Auckland to meet 2month after he went back. After i returned from Auckland, everything seems change, he changed, i felt he was treating me so cold. Totally 2 different people while he's in malaysia. After awhile,he's not often coming online to see me, even i tried to called, he didn't picked up my phone or called me back. I'm really dissapointed. I was planning to discuss with him, but i don't get the chance, he seems ignored me. After fews later, i was waiting for him to say something to, been waiting for so long, and finally he did, he suggested us to be friend, it's a right thing. i accepted it. After awhile, like 2weeks later, He told me, he's start dating another girl. Gosh, how hurtful it is,when he telling me this, but i still have to pretend nothing. Just to be cool! Well, long distance relation can be worked it out, as long as you both work on it. Also have to depends on each individual personality. Long distance is a test. A very hard test! of you can get thru it, eveything will be ham and cheesy. It required commitment and lots of trust! Gd luck

kyle

I'm in a very long distance relationship and its the hardest but best thing ever. Im in the US Army stationed in South Korea and shes back in the states. The time zones are completely different and when she wakes up im going to bed, and when i wake up shes just getting back from school and i have to leave, but were making the best of everytime we talk, and both trying very hard, it takes two to tango. if one doesn't want to put in the effort then its probley not going to work, but if both of you are willing and will do what ever for the other, then it will be the strongest relationship you'll ever have. good luck, kyle

Patricia

Don't worry, I'm in almost the exact situation you are, actually i thought it was my boyfriend writing the article until you said she wants to go to Edinburg, it's going to be fine, I promise you, as long as you trust one another, it will all work out. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but if the love is strong it will work. No matter how far it is, we're in the 21st century, and there's hundreds of ways of staying in touch that will almost seem like she's in the next room. Have faith, it will work, and thank you, you helped me figure this out too

Annie

Hi, I am 24 years old and had been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for five and a half years (we started the relationship when I was 18 and he was 20). I was living in Canada while he lived in the US. We went months and months without having seen each other; the longest had been 2 years. We talked on the phone every single day and shared our day-to-day lives. We were both very much faithful to one another but we did have a lot of issues and obsticles to overcome. After all these years of hard work and lots of effort, we finally tied the knot just about four months ago (I moved to states) and we couldn't be happier. Long distance relationship is not easy, believe me. But it sure made us appreciate whatever little time we got to spend together over the years. If you both love each other and try hard enough, I don't see why it couldn't work. However, if she is thinking that it is "impossible", then I have my doubts. In order for it to work, you BOTH have to be willing to work hard at it.

lynelia

hi, im also in a long distance love affair for 5 years. If you really luv each other i know u'll survive.. "TRUST" ths 5 letter word must be present in every relationship. gud luck!

alyssa

i dont see why long distance shouldnt be tried. I'm 18 and just went off to college. My boyfriend is at college 4 hours away, so we went months without physical affection. It was definitely hard, and took lots getting used to, but its the most rewarding experience. we both have grown so strong, and now when we are together, we are so close. It wont always work out, but if you both put in a good effort, it can be done, and it will be the most amazing thing.

Louise

I've been in a long distance relationship for 3 years now, I'm at uni in Scotland and my boyfriend is working in London. We both found it difficult at the start and I miss him so much everyday but I'd say it's made us stronger. I still get jealous of my friends that can just pop over to their boyfriend's house when they feel like it but I've learned to get used to it. We try to talk every night on the phone but when that's not always possible we will always send a text so say hello/goodnight or whatever and when I was abroad over the summer I'd email regularly. Seeing your girlfriend in pictures with new friends will always be tough, especially as you wish you were there with her and they'll make you wonder who she's with, but discuss it with each other to put your mind at ease. Talk about who you've met and what you've been doing. Make sure you give each other space. Leaving each other after seeing them is one of the hardest parts. I still find it difficult, especially when you don't know when the next time you'll see them is but you just have to start looking forward to when that next time will be. Seeing them again is always amazing. I love the quote "Remember that every day apart is one day closer to being together." All you can do is give it a shot. Try the distance thing and see how it works for you both. I know it's not for everyone but I honestly do think you can make it work if you want it to. We both wanted to be together and so we've not let anything come between us. I know someone who had a girlfriend in New York while he lived in Scotland and they made it work, so go for it! Good luck.

Donna

Wow thats tricky I'm in a distance realated realtionship myself however my boyfriend lives in london and im in lluton only an 30- 60 mins away not exactly the other side of the world. You're right if you both make the effort to call eachother always and make sure you keep a close bond then it might work. You're girlfriend has a very valid point though because you'll be in a different country you might start to feel like 'why isn't she calling me, wonder who she's with, whose that guy in her facebook picture getting all cosy with her (you get my point) and vice versa. It's something that no one who posts a comment can decide you'll have to talk it out together and fnd a solution I think maybe you should

harley

hey i am only seventeen 2 and i am in a long distance realationship at the moment that is falling apart cause its really hard every time u see them and they go bak it gts ten times harder its nt easy and me and my partner both said that if we love each other enuf it wud work bt even tho we do its still nt workin and nt only is it runing our realationship bt myt ruin or friendship and if u love her that much its best 2 ave er as a friend dan nuttin at all bit thats just my opinion darlin bt evey thing happens 4 a reason

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