'I can't give my younger man kids - now he's cheating!'

(9 ratings)
Relationship problems
I recently came out of a long-term relationship of over 10 years and didn't think I would meet anyone else. I am in my mid-forties and have been going out on the town a lot with my friends. We all have a relatively young outlook and to my amazement I have had considerable interest in me!

I recently met a bloke and have fallen head over heels for him. However, he's a good 10 years younger than myself, although at first he presumed me to be of a similar age. The problem is he wants children desperately and I'm unable to have them as I was sterilised at 30. Also since he found this out he's messed me about a bit and has had a few one night stands. His reasoning for this is that he's looking for a wife to provide children. He's always honest with me and never lies about it. He says he always uses protection.

I am totally in love and long to have a child with him. He says he would never cheat on someone who had his child and he would provide the world for his family. I know I'm wasting my time because eventually the inevitable will happen and I will be left totally heartbroken. I have had lots of offers from other men for dates but none compare to what I have. It's not just the sex, it's silly things I like about him.

I don't think he knows what real love is because he had a terrible childhood.

Please help!

Shelly, 44, Bradford

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I'm with a man who is 16 years younger than me, we both have kids so kids are not our problem however, I met someone before my partner and fell madly in love with them and thought it could never get better than this but, you get to cope with your loss and yes you need to lose this person. You need to get some self esteem and not let him crap on you. Only you can do this. And you say he has one night can you stay with someone who does not respect you??? Sorry love, you may love him but he's a loser....

sinead mc closkey

i feel sorry for shelley i met a younger man some time ago after my marriage broke up i already had 3 kids but we went on to have another 3 then i got sterilised.


Well he has bee brutally honest with you and my view would be that at this time his need is to have a child with a woman he loves.A bit like the womans clock ticking syndrome in a way.I have every sympathy for you but in the absence of a sterilisation reversal I think you may have to accept his priority will succeed rather than the relationship.

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