Case: He's flirting with other women!When TV presenter Tess Daly discovered that husband of seven years Vernon Kay had been sending flirtatious texts and emails to girls online we were all shocked! Their marriage seemed so perfect and stable. And despite the fact that they're reportedly working through their relationship problems we're all left wondering if the damage is unfixable.
And Vernon's naughty 'sext' flirting also threw up another issue, was it cheating? Does cheating just need to be about physical contact or can it also involve heavy flirting?
If Vernon and Tess' situation sounds familiar and you're confused and hurt by discovering your partner's been flirting with other women, our relationship and love expert Dr. Pam Spurr has this advice:
'As couples we all vary in the way we view such things. Some of us see no harm in a little bit of flirting outside of our relationship. But others would be very hurt and mortified by it. Each couple should work out what their ground rules are for their unique relationship. My basic rule of thumb for what constitutes cheating is quite simple: reverse the situation and ask him how he'd feel if he found you sending flirtatious texts and emails. If that'd upset him then he needs to apply that same standard for his own behaviour - and not send them himself!'
What to do if your partner's been flirting:
Make sure he knows you know what he's been up to. Although it's hard to remain calm, try not to lose your temper with him or confront him aggressively. Sit down and tell him you know what he's been doing and you aren't happy or comfortable with it
- Find out why he's been flirting - don't be afraid to ask him bluntly. If the flirting has moved onto emails and texts he certainly owes you an explanation
- Don't let him make you think it's in any way your fault, but try to address the issues he raises
- Discuss the things in your relationship that you'd both like to change. Whether you're not spending enough quality time together or you're not having as much sex as you'd both like, be honest and try to face up to your problems together
- Don't be scared to go to some couples counselling together - it could really help to work through your issues with a trained expert.