Case: We lead really separate lives

(5 ratings)
Victoria Beckham, David Beckham

Relationship problems file

Case: We lead really separate lives

Sometimes even the most seemingly solid of couples can start to lead very separate lives. We only have to look at David and Victoria Beckham to see how careers, interests and family commitments can pull a couple in different directions.

It's also easy to slip into bad relationship habits when you've been together for a long time. You might not make as much effort with your partner as you used to or you prioritise other things over spending quality time together. And it's these habits which can make you feel as if you're drifting apart.

Does this sound familiar? Do you feel like you and your man don't share any interests? Perhaps you worry you're both settling into a routine that's keeping you from spending quality time together.

Our relationship counsellor Mo says:

'You need to sit down and have a heart to heart with each other. You both need to be open and honest about your thoughts and feelings about your relationship. Good, clear communication is very important here. Avoid blaming each other for the situation, instead talk about how the situation makes each of you feel. Look at your options as to how you can get the time balance working for you.

'Ask each other; what's more important than spending quality time with each other and your family? Talk honestly about your priorities and preferences. Be prepared to be flexible and to negotiate the middle ground. If time's the big issue, then something has to give in order for you to get the kind of change that you both want. You may have to sacrifice something you do regularly to make time for each other.'

Making time for your relationship is as important as making time for the whole family. You can't function as a family if you don't feel like you and your partner are a team. Work together to create some regular, uninterrupted time where you can enjoy each other's company and relax together.

Continued below...

Time together tips:

  • Try sharing more interests. Even something as simple as going on long walks together or taking a few hours of a weekend to watch a film together and chatting about it afterwards can start to help your feelings of togetherness
  • Follow our 10 love-life commandments which include having a laugh together, making time for fun and how to improve your sex life
  • Make the most of the time when the kids are out or in bed. It's important for you to have a relationship beyond your children!
  • Have more fun in the bedroom with our sex tips
  • Go on dates! Try these fun date locations

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