Top tips for happy couples

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Couple at the beach :: Happy couples :: How to be one :: Relationship advice :: goodtoknow
Be spontaneous - Spontaneity's really important to keeping your romance alive. It might feel like a tall order when you're part of a busy couple, but the little trick is to actually plan the spontaneity. Go through your diary and markdown some dates when you do something "spontaneous" - like surprising him with a picnic lunch at his office.

Little loving touches - You can lay the table, sit down to dinner and barely speak. Or, you can put on soft music, light candles, and tell him how much you've been thinking of him during the day. Make a point of doing such loving gestures regularly.

Change is good - We easily become set in our ways and that can become dull and bad for romance. Surprise your partner by getting a new look, booking a new restaurant or suggesting a walk in a beauty spot you've never visited. Little bits of change can put some zip back.

Do the unexpected - Offer to do something they'd least expect, like sensually washing their hair. Run a candlelit bath, ask them to lie back, and then gently wash it.

Initiate sex - Lots of women still think that men should do the initiating when it comes to sex. Nothing could be further from the truth and men confide in me that they love it when their partner turns on the flirting. Cuddle up and start hinting about how attractive he looks that night, run your fingers through his hair or down his thighs - he'll get the message.

Be a bit daring - Ring him during the day and tell him you've just been having a hot fantasy about him. Describe it in lots of sexy detail. Need some inspiration? Tell him you were lying on a beach and he was a handsome stranger who came up and offered to rub suntan oil into your warm body. Take it from there.

Celebrate your love - Do something symbolic that celebrates your love. For instance, put together a scrapbook of photos from your holidays, or buy your partner's favourite plant and keep it on your dining table. And keep a mix of your favourite love songs in your music system. These little touches keep the love going.

Don't compete - You're both busy and it's easy to fall into the trap of one-upmanship where you bicker along the lines of, "but I've done more than you today," and, "No you haven't, my schedule was packed!" Turn off this automatic response and show him loads of appreciation for how hard he works or the things he does around your home. The more you show your appreciation - the more he'll show his back.'

Dr Pam is a life coach, agony aunt and author of many best-selling books. She appears regularly on programmes like GMTV, Trisha, LK Today, The Wright Stuff and BBC Breakfast. Her latest book How To Be A Happy Human - 10 Essential Principles To Change Your Life is available to buy now.

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  1. 1. How to be a happy couple
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