Ask Emma: My boyfriend's married

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Couple getting divorce_jupiter

 WomanWe've teamed up with our sister magazine Woman's Own and their counsellor Emma Marlin to solve your relationship problems.
This week she helps a woman who is in a relationship with a married man.

Five years ago I met a married man who fell in love with me. I was fresh out of divorce and knew he was married, so we didn't communicate for three years, but when we did our relationship quickly intensified. Now he is trying to talk me into a long-term relationship. He says he is ready to leave his wife, but I don't want to be the cause of his family's break-up. I'm torn between my heart and my conscience. What should I do?

- Allanah, Yorkshire

 Emma MarlinEmma's advice

Tell him you'd love to hear from him but only after he's divorced. Doing this will take a lot of will power and you what have to lie to anybody about what role you played in his break-up. By taking such a strong stand, you'll also find out if this man really loves you. If he's serious he will leave under his own steam and any relationship you and he then have will be all the healthier for it.

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Clo Millington

Not even worth bothering with! And here's a tip - always use protection, because if anything happens, I can guarantee he'll run a mile and leave you to pick up the pieces. If he hasn't left her within the month, he's not going to leave her, AT ALL, so don't waste time thinking this is going to be the romance of the year because it won't be, he'll come to you, go back to her, can you really trust him? I'd get out of it whilst you can, because no matter how much you say to yourself "I aren't doing anything wrong, he's the one in the relationship" You'll still feel guilty. Speaking from experience, it's a horrd feeling and the guilt isn't worth carrying around :/

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