Q I love my friend but her husband drives me bananas. When we go out as a foursome he usually finds some way to put her down. He always mentions that she doesn't earn money (she cares for their 3 children under 10) and says she's put on weight. She never challenges him. I always bite my tongue, but now I find myself making excuses not to see them socially.
- Juliette, London
I recently went through something similar with an old friend so I know how upsetting this situation can be. What you can be sure of is that if your friend's husband is this horrible about her in front of mates, he's sure to be even more horrible when they are alone. If you were her, would you need ‘a friend' to spell out how awful her situation is? I doubt it. So I'd advise you to stop making excuses to see them and to stop biting your tongue. If the occasion arises and her husband starts up, let him know that you won't stand for his put downs to his face. Hopefully, your friend will probably be relieved and may even get the idea that she can start standing up to him for herself.