Ask Emma: Is no-strings sex ok?

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man and woman in bed_jupiter

 WomanWe've teamed up with our sister magazine Woman's Own and their counsellor Emma Marlin to solve your relationship problems. This week she helps a woman who enjoys having no-strings sex but isn't sure if it's stopping her from finding true love.

I've been having sex on a casual basis with a man I met last year. Basically I call him up when I feel like sex, and he comes over if he can. It suits us both because we both didn't want to get into anything heavy. Recently a friend says it's stopping me from finding a real relationship. Is she right? I like sex but find relationships just too complicated given I have kids.

  Emma MarlinEmma's advice


Your friend is right - your situation isn't great if you're looking for love. But your friend hasn't been listening to you. She hasn't heard that you're getting over a divorce, bringing up kids and don't have the time, interest, or room for a real relationship right now. If you had written saying your lover was your ex of nine years or coming out of a divorce himself, I'd be singing a different tune. But if this situation is working for you then why change it? You have nothing to be guilty about.

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Clo Millington

It depends what you are looking for. If you come away feeling horrible and used then you're looking for romance and love, ifyou come away thinking great I've got what I wanted now I'll go back to my life, then thats great.

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