I’ve done something terrible. I’m not even sure I should be admitting to it just in case I get a knock at the door and hauled off for questioning but here goes – I forgot to put my bins out last week.
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It means I now have two full bins and a bin bag perched on the top. I’m not a bad person. I pay my bills, I make sure my kids go to school, my cats are vaccinated, I recycle and I wash at 30 degrees. But now I have rubbish piling up and I’m already worried that this week when the bin men come they won’t take it all because it will be too much. What then? Do I get fined? The Environment Department says: ‘A single full binbag upwards would constitute a fly-tip.’ Who are these people? Do they have any grasp on reality at all? No wonder Town Hall officials have been given guidelines in how to deal with enraged residents who have left a bin bag in the wrong place. It comes from the Environment Department again and advises: ‘Let them know that this behaviour is not acceptable eg ‘I am not prepared to carry on this interview whilst you are calling me a wxxxxr and a jobsworth.’ I shouldn’t laugh but my sides are aching. Of course if I was on the receiving end of being called a whatnot and a jobsworth I wouldn’t be too chuffed and I feel sorry for people whose job it is to deal with the rage of generally mild mannered well behaved people. It’s those who come up with all these rules and regs who deserve the abuse but of course we can never get to them. Maybe we should produce our own document advising them how to speak to us. My advice would be that every week they take the rubbish away from houses whose residents pay their community charge and concentrate their efforts on fly tippers instead. It’s not rocket science, is it? What would your advise be ladies? Polite answers only please!