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'Drink made me feel interesting'

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Adult Alcohol and Liver Disease red wine woman alcoholic

Overcoming alcoholism

I thought that alcoholics had all gone through something terrible that made them drink. But I had no situation to blame for my alcoholism, I come from a nice home, with good parents. I just liked alcohol. I started drinking to excess in my 20s and, when I drank, I felt cleverer and more popular. But once I'd started, I couldn't stop. When my money ran out, I'd lie and steal to get more. My alcoholism led to me losing friends, by being unreliable and telling lies to make myself more interesting. Then I'd feel bad and avoid people. I drank beer and spirits. I binged at weekends, or drank in the morning and all the way through the day.

Then five years ago, I realised I couldn't keep up with my life any more. That's what made me finally call the AA helpline.
I expected to be told I didn't have a real problem. Instead, the man listened to me and said, 'That's what it was like for me, too.'
My heart sank. I didn't want to be an alcoholic. But I went to an AA meeting the next day. Men and women were there on their lunch hours, talking honestly about their feelings.

I walked home relieved. These people had drunk like me, but they weren't drinking now. I've been sober for five years now. If I don't like the way I'm feeling, I am tempted to drink. But now I can stop myself. I've lasted longer than I ever thought I would and life just keeps getting better, one day at a time.

Yvonne, 37, Northumberland

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NH

I've been sober for six weeks and I'm really struggling with the fact that I'll never be able to drink again. I didn't ever drink during the day, only in the evenings. The amount I ended up drinking was a lot but it never interfered with my job. I felt pressurised to admit I was an alcoholic from my family and now I just feel resentful because I feel life will never be the same for me. I was always sociable but I feel thats finished because the AA say I'll always be an alcoholic and I'll never be able to recover. Well exuse me I just dont buy this, this attitude just makes me resentful.

marie

My friend has started drinking again after 30 yrs of being sober. He learned he has some health issues due to agent orange. Is there anything I can do to help him to be sober again quick. Suddenly he seems to have given up his career, his will to live, just everything. I feel desperate to do something. Please help!

David

I'm an alcoholic, but I haven't had a drink for thirty years. We members of AA (let me point out that I'm not speaking officially, just personally as an alcoholic who got sober through AA) still call ourselvs alcoholics, no matter how long we've been dry, because if we pick up the first drink we cannot stop. There are two kinds of alcoholics; maintenance drinkers (people who drink every day) and periodic drinkers (those that drink every week or every month. No matter which we are, the defintion is, that when we take the first one, we cannot stop. There is much more I could say here, but AA has many pamphlets and two official books. You will find AA listed in your local telephone book. If anyone has questions, I will reply through this site.

katie

I dont have an alcohol problems but i do understand how, as humans we all need to fill a void in ourselves, wether its because we're bored sad lonely, stimulants or food are so accessible in our society that growing our food and just thinking about getting through the day without starving is a thing of the past, maybe we should have classes in schools to address this addictive society we live in and how to maybe except our feelings and deal with them is different ways, i suppose whether its drugs alcohol or food is escapism from ourselves, sorry to rambe on, anyway good luck to all of youl

AC

i know i have a problem, but i haven't got to the stage of really wanting to do something about it. i can go for 4 or 5 days without drinking = even over weekends, then i decide to have a drink and i don't even stop and think about the consequences - i just do it. i can have a couple of glasses of wine one night and then nothing the next night and then i can drink loads 3 or 4 nights on the trot. I've missed work, left jobs when i've used up every excuse in the book, my boyfriend suspects there is an issue and has said so, but i just say it's fine - he thinks because i don't wake up in the morning and drink that i must be ok! i don't think there is such a thing as the archetypal alcoholic, i think there are hundreds of different ways to be one, i realise that just because you don't fit the traditional 'mould', this doesn't mean you don't have a problem. maybe i will tackle it soon and get it under control. there's only so long you can drink to excess until it starts affecting you in one way or another, be it health wise, family and relationships, looks etc and then it really affects you when your self esteem and self respect start dropping. it's a horrible way to live your life.

helen

Well done Yvonne for getting your life back, I lost my mum when I was 9, and was left to be brought up by my alcoholic father. I didn't have an easy life, but went on to get married and have 2 beautiful children. My Dad who is now in his mid fifties still drinks, and I am left feeling guilty because I can't help him stop drinking. He has been to hospital loads of times after collapsing and having fits, if I don't hear from him I panic that he will be found dead. I don,t ever see my dad recovering, so I really admire people who go on to beat this awful disease. Best Wishes for the future and if you have any advice on how I can convince my dad to get help I would really appreciate it. x

mike

Let your kids know that this time will be different and prove it to them, take them out, show them you mean it this time, they will think you will fail them again (understandable), you should make every effort to keep off the drink which you are. you need to add more structure to your day to distract yourself. when you need to drink try doing something else, try going to the park, exercising, train your mind.. if you need extra help, maybe try self help group...

dean

i had a dettox last year and it lasted 3 weeks i started drinking again and i ended up drinking double what i used to i dettoxed again through aquarius and been sober for almost 4 months my life is better but i crave for drink and take every day at once. life seems so boring and everyone around me have a drink it is just a really hard battle and ime gasping for a drink as i write this but i keep wondering if i could drink more careful but i think i know the answer i have to live with myself being one drink away from being an alcohol dependant again nobody knows how difficult it is till they are there.. good luck to all of us.

kp

and by the way I'm 33yrs old and my kids don't think that i could stay sober because I've told them so many tines before that I was done with it all but end up doing what I said that I was done with so could someone give me some advice on what I should do

kp

I have only 3 days of being sober and its realy hard for me so i ask that for any body there to help me

kim

ive been booze free for 7 days now.i too goto aa meatings which i never thought i would.good luck and 1 day at a time.

pat

hi, i dont really knw what to say except well done. am on the edge of a real relapse, got fam to consider and they are living with me now, good luck and pls get back to me if its not to much trouble x.

paul.h

21 days 4 me now. reading ur story has given me a boost wich i s what we all need now an then, big well done you,and continue the great lifestyle ur experiencing now,dont luck back. I recently got my liver results, wich are not good but theres time to do somethink about it now so iam doing b4 its to late, this is the longest ive been dry in a long time. good luck yvonne.

helene

well done yvonne! perhaps u r the inspiration i need. i am strugglin at the moment wiv my addiction. i have a lovely counsellor and a keyworker 2 help me, but i still find it so hard. i have a good string ov days and then a bad string ov days! readin ur story makes me a bit more determined 2 succeed. thanku

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